Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Boobie Beanie


Posted on February 16, 2012 by

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#1: I love Etsy.  #2: I love this hat.  #3: This topic lights my fire. You’ve been warned.

If you’ve ever breast fed your baby in public, you know how people can’t help but stare, sometimes with a look of disgust that a mother DARE feed her hungry kid the best food that ever existed in a public place. I’ve been that mom before and I’ll be that mom again. To me, this hat says: F YOU, you judgmental, insecure, insensitive, nosy a-hole! Don’t want to see my boob? Well here, now you can really feast your eyes on a boob, and a big one at that. Go ahead and look, I want you to, jerk. And you want to know what really chaps my ass? When it’s women casting the dirty looks! (Do you sense how angry this makes me?)

It also says I’m a mom with a sense of humor and do not feel ashamed for breast feeding in public. Here’s the thing: at the time of this writing, there were more 7 billion people in the world. (If you want to see how many there are right now, go here. It’s impressive.) So if roughly 50% of the world’s population is female, that means about 3.5 billion people are female. And since the overwhelming majority has two boobies, there are about 7 billion milk-makers on the planet! (14 billion if you count male boobs.) Why is getting a glimpse of side boob such a big freaking deal??!!

And while I’m on the topic of breastfeeding, I just read this piece about a Texas judge who ruled that breastfeeding is not covered under discrimination laws. He writes, “Lactation is not pregnancy, childbirth or a related medical condition,” after a mom was fired for requesting to pump upon her return to work. Really? Lactation is not related to pregnancy? Or childbirth? Well then, I better get to the hospital fast because there must be something terribly wrong with me. The Huffington Post article notes that, “President Barack Obama’s health care law addresses breast feeding and requires employers to give new mothers a break to nurse, but it doesn’t specifically protect women from being fired if they ask to do so,” and in this case it wouldn’t apply anyway because it happened a few years before the health care law became official. Employers need to recognize that allowing women to pump on the job is a benefit to the baby, the mom, AND the company.

So, lady who got fired: I think you should go sit in front of your old employer’s office while breastfeeding your baby who’s wearing the Boobie Beanie.

I really could go on and on about this topic but, instead, I want to hear what you have to say. What are your thoughts about the Boobie Beanie and breast feeding? Would you have nursed longer if your company were more supportive? Have any zingers to share for those rude people who stare? Leave a comment!

Update: If you want to hear more about the laws in question and how they affect you, Kevin Sanderson, an employment lawyer who is an expert in discrimination, will be writing a guest post for us next week all about it. Check back to find more about about these laws!

Bullets, Batteries, and Orgasms, OoOoh My!


Posted on February 15, 2012 by

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I’m a huge proponent of sex toys, as they can help you learn your own body, don’t require a willing participant, and can make you C-O-M-E!! I think there aren’t enough women willing to plunge into the arena of toys, as they’ve been tabooed as vulgar or unladylike. I could give a damn about being ladylike, pass me the freakin’ orgasms!!

Our team on Tumblr asked for your favorite toys and I’ve picked 6 show-stoppers to review below:

Toy: We-Vibe

Description: This toy was created for couples or solo play, is made of flexible medical grade silicone, is shaped like a “U,” has bullets at each end to stimulate clitoris and G-spot, and has three vibration settings.

Ooh La La Reviews:
● Enhances already great sex life
● Is comfortable size for both hitting clit and G-spot
● Made to accommodate penis and toy at the same time
● We-Vibe III has remote control
● Gives powerful orgasms
● Male partner claims he did not feel inferior to toy (good news if you or your partner are sensitive to “toy envy”)

Ooh no no reviews:
● Often slips out of place
● Has to charge for 24 hours before use
● Vibration is not strong enough
● Toy not big enough/small enough/flexible enough

OoOoH-verall: Overall you’ll love it or hate it. From what I can gather, those who hated it had high expectations and when they weren’t quickly met, they gave up. Positive reviews seemed to come from couples who kept using the toy until they found the right “vibe.”

OoOorder up!  Get it for $89.99 here 

 

Toy: Fleshlight

Description: Tube shaped toy made to imitate vaginal, oral, or anal opening and canal or throat, made of patented super soft “realistic” material, for penis penetration.

Ooh La La  Reviews:

● Best male masturbation device
● Very life-like
● Can induce powerful orgasms
● Warming toy with water before use makes for more pleasurable experience
● Ability to control “tightness” of “vaginal canal” was a commonly cited plus
● Kinky options like vampire mouths available

Ooh no no reviews:

Some reviews cited tearing of the “vulva” and canal. Some reviews claim counterfeit toys are marketed as the “Fleshlight,” so be careful where you purchase from.

OoOoH-verall: The vast majority of reviewers found the toy to be as close to vaginal penetration as possible. A screwable cap at the bottom of the shaft or “canal” can be adjusted to make the toy “tighter” or “looser.”

OoOorder up!  Get it for $50.99 here

Toy: Hitachi magic wand

Description: Hand held clitoral vibrator, looks the shape of microphone, plugs into wall (it’s that powerful).

Ooh La La Reviews:
● Does the trick!
● Comfortable to hold
● Appearance looks less like a “sex toy” and more like a regular body massager

Ooh no no reviews:
Some reviewers reported that the intensity of the massager made they feel less able to orgasm without it. Some suggest abstaining for a few days from using it, and you will feel “good as new” again.

OoOoH-verall: If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation, the magic wand should do the trick. Multiple vibration settings make it ideal for different sensitivities. Attachments can be added to the device also!

OoOorder up!  Get it for $47.95 here 

Toy: Wild G Stimulator (“Rabbit”)

Description: Works just like the “rabbit” but cheaper! California Exotics brand, with a “fin” instead of rabbit head to stimulate clit, and a shaft with rotating beads to engage your G spot. Three speeds of vibration, made of silicone, waterproof.

 

Ooh La La Reviews:
● G-spot orgasms
● Clitoral orgasms
● Clit-G combo orgasms

Ooh no no reviews:
Some reviewers felt the shaft was larger than expected. I actually felt the same way when I received it in the mail. With a little silicone lube it went in without a hitch.

OoOoH-verall: My favorite toy!! This toy was the first object to ever give me orgasms within my vaginal canal. I’m telling you, it revolutionized my lust life!!

OoOorder up!  Get it for $34.66 here 

Toy: Don Wand Glass Pleasure Wand

Description: Glass dildo with “nubs” around it for added stimulation. Comes in beautiful rainbow colors.

Ooh La La Reviews:
● Reviewers liked the size of the toy
● Kudos for the added “nubs”
● Heating and cooling options are a must
● The most aesthetically pleasing toy

Ooh no no reviews:
The toy is made of glass – meaning it does not bend, and is super-hard. If you prefer soft or flexible, this might not be for you.

OoOoH-verall: If you are a fan of hard vaginal stimulation, this toy can be the one for you. Lube is necessary. Easy to wash, can be heated up or put in freezer for different sensations. Clean up is super easy, you can even throw it in the dishwasher!

OoOorder up!  Get it for $23.75 here 

Toy: Turbo 8 Bullet

Description: Eight speed “bullet” shaped vibrator with attached remote control for easy speed adjustment. Can be purchased with either one or two bullets, depending on model.

Ooh La La Reviews:
● Really enjoy speed and pulse options
● Remote control makes it comfortable for use
● Very powerful clitoral stimulator

Ooh no no reviews:
● Cord from bullet to remote can get in the way if used with partner
● Devices burn out easily if rechargable batteries are used
● Different models make different vibration frequencies, bought similar products but their pulse was more of a “buzzing” – which felt more like a bee-sting than the smooth low and deep pulse of the original

OoOoH-verall: This is the mother of bullet toys. Eight speeds with different pulse options create an array of stimulation options. Bullet has soft removable caps with “tickle” bumps for added stimulation. Great for the novice to the expert.

OoOorder up!  Get it for $12.99 here 

In conclusion, always remember that sharing toys can spread sexually transmitted infections, so if you share toys, use them with condoms. Always wash your toys before and after use, and store in cool dry place. Most toys that require batteries suggest you remove them between uses to prevent the toy motors from burning out.

This Week In: Love, Sex, and Law


Posted on February 14, 2012 by

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~In case you haven’t heard, Prop 8, the law banning gay marriage in California, was ruled unconstitutional this week.  Approved by a slim margin in 2008, Prop 8 made gay marriage illegal only 5 months after the state began to acknowledge them. In the ruling, the court said that the ban was unconstitutional “because it singled out a minority group for disparate treatment for no compelling reason.” One judge did dissent on the grounds preventing gay marriage “could help ensure that children are raised by married, opposite-sex parents,” because in his fantasy world procreation never happens outside of marriage and half of marriages don’t end in divorce, I suppose. Gay marriages may not resume immediately, as opponents have been given time to appeal, but all in all this is excellent news.

~In response to Oklahoma’s proposed personhood amendment, Democratic Senator Constance Johnson submitted an action to amend the bill to state that “any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” She did it as more of a satirical act than a serious attempt at an amendment; in her words:

“My amendment seeks to draw attention to the absurdity, duplicity and lack of balance inherent in the policies of this state in regard to women…[and] to draw humorous attention to the hypocrisy and inconsistency of this proposal – from the Republican perspective of down-sized government and less government intrusion into people’s private affairs.”

Joke or no, Johnson managed to succinctly point out the poor logic and inherent sexism behind personhood amendments. Good job. As a side note, another democratic Senator, Jim Wilson, proposed a more serious amendment that would have made “the father of an unborn child financially responsible for its mother’s health care, housing, transportation and nourishment while she is pregnant.” It failed, which I am totally shocked about (not really).

 

The Kiss


Posted on February 13, 2012 by

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I received my first romantic kiss on the walk home from school in the driveway of one of my fellow first graders. As best as I can recall, it was the start and finish of a very brief romance. Fast forward to middle school where my kissing career truly began. What a sloppy, awkward, germ-spewing mess those years were. It got better from there as everyone involved became more experience in the art of kissing, but the kiss that rocked my world didn’t happen until much later.

We met on his birthday as a blind date. I had no initial attraction or lusty reaction, but he grew more and more attractive as I discovered what a charming, thoughtful person he was. Several weeks later we had our first kiss. Both of us had long first marriages and this was the first attempt at dating for both of us. Our four children were all safely accounted for with their other parent. I still remember 12 years later how the first meeting of our lips felt. It was ELECTRIC! I read about kisses that made you swoon, but nothing in my experience could compare. All these years later, the magic is still there and we never let a day go by without taking the time to show it with a kiss, or two or three and on really good days, even more!

So what is the deal with kissing? The first written history of a kiss dates back to 1500 B.C. from India’s Verdic Sanskrit texts. While the word kiss wasn’t mention, there were references to the drinking of moisture from lips. During the 3rd century A.D., the Kama Sutra had an entire chapter on properly kissing a lover. The Song of Solomon from the Old Testament reads, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy love is better than wine.” The ancient Greeks spoke of kissing in Homer’s epics and the early Romans introduced kissing throughout their empire.

The “X” as a sign of a kiss comes from the middle ages when most people couldn’t read or write. They drew an “X” on a line and sealed the document with a kiss to make it legal.

About 90% of the world’s population kisses. Some cultures that frown on kissing are against it for health reasons saying saliva is nasty and full of bacteria. Actually, they are right. There can be 298 colonies of bacteria in a mouth! Some African cultures believe that the mouth is the portal to the soul and that someone can take your spirit away through a kiss.

However you feel about kissing, we at Feronia wish you a hot, happy, germ-free Valentine’s Day and remember: Safer Sex is Hotter Sex!

Contraception is Basic Preventative Health Care, Not a Luxury


Posted on February 12, 2012 by

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Barack ObamaHow did we get to the point where something as common and basic as birth control is controversial?  Perhaps it’s backlash: backlash against the growing progressive movements in our country, backlash against further female equality, backlash at the country rejecting another white military man for a young black president. I don’t know, but I do know that while birth control is consumed only by women, it is something that both women and men benefit from.  Denying women insurance coverage for contraception forces them to pay exorbitant prices at pharmacies or clinics, and basically amounts to having to pay a fine for owning a uterus.


I bring this up because a couple weeks ago we talked about the Obama administration’s refusal to allow religious organizations to deny their employees birth control coverage.  Well, it didn’t go over too well.  The past week has been filled with condemnations, rejoicing, and pleas for “compromise” (hint: compromise tends to mean allowing employers to deny birth control at will) from various corners. You can read a quick rundown of the latest arguments at ThinkProgress, which reports that Catholic bishops are demanding that any Catholic business owner be able to deny birth control coverage.


Just Friday, a final rule was announced certifying that religious organizations such as churches will not have to provide birth control coverage, and their employees will not have access to birth control through the company’s insurance provider.  Non-profit religious organizations such as hospitals and universities will not have to provide birth control coverage; however, their employees will have birth control provided for them through the organization’s health insurance provider.


This is a victory for (most) women, who now will have access to free basic preventative care, although women who work for organizations who qualify for the exemption (i.e. churches) are still not covered; the White House has stated that they are working on that.
Be forewarned that there are many out there who are still working to dismantle this policy before it even goes into effect.  We at Planned Parenthood are watching carefully to monitor upcoming attacks against women’s health care.


One of them is the Rubio-Manchin bill that would allow any employer to deny birth control coverage if they have moral convictions against it. A worse one? The Blunt bill that allows employers to deny health coverage against any service they disagree with. Sign our petition to tell your government that you think women deserve basic health care, and be sure to check back with Feronia to keep up-to-date with what’s going on.

A Teaspoon of Semen


Posted on February 9, 2012 by

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As a sex educator, I’ve heard my fair share of slang terms for semen: cum, jizz, baby gravy, spooge, wad, seed, man chowder, etc., but no matter what you call it, few people actually know what’s in it.

So let’s break it down. Semen should not be used synonymously with sperm; sperm is just one of the ingredients of semen. In a healthy man, there are roughly 300-500 million sperm ejaculated from the penis. Sperm are produced in the testicles, mature in the epididymis, and exit through the vas deferens/urethra. Along the way, sperm join up with fluid from the prostate gland and the seminal vesicles.

The total volume of semen in any given ejaculation depends on a lot of different factors but, in general, is somewhere between a teaspoon and tablespoon.

The seminal vesicles make up 50-70% of the seminal fluid. These glands produce a yellowish, alkaline, nutrient-rich fluid which helps neutralize the acidity of the vagina, prolonging the life span and increasing motility of sperm.

The prostate gland produces a milky white fluid that makes up 20-30% of the seminal fluid. The prostate is also where the urethra joins with the vas deferens (the tubes that carry sperm up from the testicles and epididymis – see diagram).

There’s another gland worth talking about even though it does not technically contribute to the volume of semen. The Cowper’s glands, or bulbourethral glands, are about the size of a pea and produce a clear, slippery fluid during sexual arousal. About the time that an erection occurs, these glands release a small drop of pre-ejaculatory fluid that lubricates the urethra, neutralizes trace amounts of acidic urine, and may also clean out any sperm that were left behind from a recent ejaculation. This is why it is not safe to play the “just the tip” game and why the withdrawal method isn’t effective. Just to be clear: pre-cum, or pre-ejaculate, CAN have sperm in it, and CAN get someone pregnant. I should also mention that an HIV-positive person’s pre-ejaculatory fluid carries HIV and can infect his partner, particularly via anal sex. This applies to other STDs, as well.

Ok, that was probably WAY more than you wanted to know about semen. Oh well, consider yourself schooled.

Feronia Celebrates Black History Month


Posted on February 8, 2012 by

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It’s Black History Month, which means I get to indulge in two of my favorite things: 1) learning stuff I didn’t know about culture and history; and 2) rolling my eyes at people who say “But why don’t we have a white history month?”

In case you’re wondering: We don’t have a white history month because every day is white history day. If you’re white you can turn on the history channel and see the history of white America, or white England, or white Germany. American history taught in schools is largely the story of white colonialists, while the history of people of color is marginalized.

Personally, I blame two things for the prevalence of anti-black history month sentiment: white privilege and the notion of colorblindness. Let’s break it down: Every white person benefits from white privilege; that is, we do not experience structural or systemic disadvantages in our society due to our race. Colorblindness, the notion that it is ideal for us all to ignore race altogether and just identify as part of one human race, is an attempt at ignoring white privilege and the different struggles people of color experience, and usually means expecting everyone to conform to white culture. The ideal of colorblindness is the epitome of white privilege; only white people get to ignore race because it doesn’t negatively impact our lives. The combination of these two elements leads some people to think that talking about race or celebrating the specific history of a non-white people is unfair and divisive.  It’s not, and though I wish that black history was more incorporated into overall American culture and education, until it is I’m glad that we as a nation take some time out to acknowledge black contributions and achievements.

Now, back to celebrating Black History Month: I don’t like to rehash the same few figures that everyone learns about in school, so here is a brief list of cool people you might not know about:

•Mary Mahoney: She became the first African-American registered nurse in 1879, practiced for 30 years. Along the way she “became one of the original members of a predominately white Nurses Associated Alumnae of the United States and Canada,” otherwise known as the American Nurses Association. She also co-founded the National Association of Colored Graduate Nurses (NACGN).

•Lucy Parsons: Of African, Native, and Mexican decent, Lucy was a revolutionary labor activist who led workers in protests all over the country. She was famous as an orator and wildly hated by police and capitalists alike for her fervent action against the exploitation of workers.

•Probably Beethoven: No, really. You can read the details at the link, but what’s really interesting to me is that in spite of his contemporaries’ many comments on his ancestry and dark complexion, he is still depicted as a pale-skinned German in most musical history texts. The white-washing of history is worth a whole other post.

•Michelle freakin’ Obama: No link necessary, right? This is cheating a little because we all know who she is, but I just like to mention her because she is awesome. Fellow sociology major, Princeton and Harvard graduate, anti-poverty and pro-nutrition educator, classy lady. Love her.

• Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson: Black history is still being made, of course, so I wanted to include another modern lady. Dr. Jackson is the first black woman to earn a doctorate in theoretical physics and the first black woman to head the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission. You can read more about her here.

So, Feronia readers, are there any notable black figures in history who inspire you?

“What if all the fetuses you save grow up without health insurance, find a lump in their breast, and can’t afford treatment? What then?”


Posted on February 7, 2012 by

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One of the greatest signs I’ve seen protesting anti-choice activists says, “What if all the fetuses you save turn out gay?” Given the events of the past week, I sadly offer this sign: “What if all the fetuses you save grow up without health insurance, find a lump in their breast, and can’t afford treatment?” What then?

How can an ideology that claims to “value life” justify its targeted, hateful, destructive, homophobic, bigoted and oppressive actions toward living people, in the name of righteousness?

At what point will the “pro-life” ideology include advocating for the lives of the already born?

By placing political pressures on the Susan G. Komen Foundation, anti-women’s health extremists (a.k.a. the “far right” or “pro-life/anti-choice” camps) have seriously damaged the relations between two kindred organizations (two organizations that share a mission to enhance the quality of “life” for women in need) and, in the end, the only ones to suffer are the women most statistically likely to die of breast cancer (the ones the Komen Foundation targets through these grants to Planned Parenthood).

I was sitting in my car this morning before work, listening to a piece on the Komen/Planned Parenthood separation on the radio, looking at the front door of the health center I call home, a place of sisterhood, a place of acceptance, healing, comfort and what we forget most: joy.
 
Yes, as the commentator recited statements by anti-choice demagogues sounding off about Planned Parenthood being an abortion industry that must be de-funded, I watched a woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties frolic out the health center’s front door, beaming. Yes, this client came out with the biggest smile on her face, a smile that told a story of joy; in her hand was confirmation of pregnancy. I had to just laugh at the irony.

Women and men in our communities trust and need Planned Parenthood, and that’s why millions of them – voting, tax paying Americans just like me – come to P.P. health centers across the country every year.

I’m sad and angry about the whole thing. When are these radical, anti-women extremists going to accept the decision of ‘Roe v. Wade’ in 1973, the legislation that allowed women to obtain safe abortions legally within this country? Is this an ideology that will quiet as the generational tides shift? We’re already showing them what we can do with social networking, how powerful and vast our voices are, and how easily the “facts” of their ill deeds can be exposed.

We must stand together in our commitment to save women’s lives. We must not let the opposition’s intimidation or conniving tactics dictate our future. We must stand with Planned Parenthood … the caretaker of our country’s most vulnerable women.

Will you stand with Planned Parenthood?

Happy Mom = Happy Baby? Antidepressants and Pregnancy


Posted on February 6, 2012 by

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Antidepressants and PregnancyPregnancy and medicine is always a controversial subject. One of the numerous controversies that’s been brewing over the past several years is over the use of antidepressants in pregnancy and whether or not it’s important for a mother, who is already taking antidepressants, to continue her medicine during pregnancy. Obviously, the important question is – does it harm the fetus?

Studies are mixed and so are doctors’ opinions. Many in the medical community are coming out now and saying that it’s more important to have a happy mother throughout the pregnancy and if antidepressants are a way of reaching that goal, then it’s OK for the mother to continue her treatment throughout pregnancy. (The important caveat is that breastfeeding while on antidepressant therapy is not encouraged.) However, recent studies say that there may be a higher risk of premature births, smaller birth weights, and even autism if treatment is continued.

It may be important which antidepressant is taken during pregnancy as well. Generally, tricyclic antidepressants, certain SSRIs including Zoloft, and Wellbutrin are probably safe to take throughout pregnancy, but other tricyclic antidepressants may have a link to limb malformations if taken in the later months of pregnancy. As you can see, the literature and studies are mixed.

So, if you’re concerned, what can you do? Think about your happiness, because a happy mother equals a happy baby. If talk therapy works for you, you may be able to make it through without medication. If your pregnancy hormones are throwing your moods all out of whack and you’re not happy? It may be more important for you – and your baby – to maintain your medications throughout the entirety of pregnancy. (The famous internet celebrity, Dooce (Heather Armstrong) maintained her medication throughout her pregnancy and her daughter was fine.) As always, it’s important to work with your doctor to make the right choice for you.

But remember, if you’re happy, your baby is happy. Make the decision that’s right for you.