Posted on
June 29, 2012 by
Eleanor
Happy Friday! So, are you in or around St. Petersburg, Florida?
Will you be at St. Pete Pride tomorrow?
Hey, so will Planned Parenthood of Southwest & Central Florida! Meet us at ArtPOOL Gallery, 2030 Central Ave. or we’ll be walking around with clipboards, meeting fun and fabulous people. Hope to see you there – and here’s a little video to entice you to go!
Posted on
June 28, 2012 by
Eleanor
The Affordable Care Act marks the biggest advance for women’s health, men’s health, Americans’ health in a generation. As the nation’s leading women’s health care provider and advocate, Planned Parenthood stands firmly alongside women, families, and patients across this country whose access to affordable, quality health care is transformed by the Affordable Care Act. Today’s ruling by the Supreme Court means that these Americans will have access to affordable, quality health care – many of whom had no coverage or inadequate coverage before.
Planned Parenthood of Southwest and Central Florida knows firsthand how important this law – and this decision – is for women and families, because we see the need for affordable health care every day.
Because of today’s ruling, millions of women will have access to birth control without a co-pay starting in August 2012 – protecting their health, saving them money, and giving them control over whether and when to start families.
Planned Parenthood health centers have been serving patients with private insurance for decades and the nearly 800 Planned Parenthood health centers around the nation will be here for newly insured women who want quality health care from a provider they can trust – no matter what.
Posted on
June 27, 2012 by
Guest Post
I didn’t want to do it but everyone else was … From television to Facebook, newspapers to a gazillion blog sites, it seemed that everyone was (and still is) talking about “50 Shades of Grey,” the erotic novel by E. L. James. The three-book “Grey” series has become a literary phenomenon. In May, the books occupied all three top spots on The New York Times Bestseller List and tens of thousands of people had them on hold at libraries across the country.
The series has spurred a spike in sales of “kinky” sex accessories (including anal toys) and bondage materials. There are “Shades of Grey” passion parties being held around the country and the series has more than 168,000 fans on its Facebook page, where comments range from “best books I’ve ever read” to “OMG I read, LOVED and can’t wait to read them again.”
A screenplay is in the works and now there is talk that the author will re-write the books from the point of view of the male lead, Christian Grey.
Not all of the feedback has been rosy: The books were pulled from library shelves in Melbourne, Florida (but were soon returned due to public outcry). Critics have been harsh in their judgment of the quality of the writing and some have faulted the depiction of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, [Dominance and Submission], Sado-masochism) as setting a bad example for healthy, consensual sex. Many are up in arms at what they see as the degradation of the lead female character, Anastasia Steele (and, thus, all women).
It has been called “chick lit” and “mommy porn.” Women worldwide are sighing – and sharing. Even my mother’s book club (all ages 65+) read and discussed the first book. So I gave in and read it. My take? Truthfully, beyond the titillation of the frequent and varied sex (resulting in about a gazillion mind-blowing orgasms), what I really think this book’s main theme is that any man, even one as screwed up as Christian Grey, can be changed – fixed, even – by the right partner.
As a woman who has grown up strongly believing that no opportunity should be out of reach, and that no woman needs to be dependent on anyone else for her “keep” and/or happiness; and as a proud staff member at Planned Parenthood, where we work to educate patients and community youth about healthy relationships and consensual sex – perhaps I should have hated this book. But while many claim to be appalled by the so-called “anti-feminist ideals” of “Shades,” I’m not.
As rigid as Christian is set up to be, Ana always gets her way. By the end of the second book, Grey has fallen in love, is overcoming some of his hang-ups, and the romance blooms, complete with a marriage proposal. Ana can resist Christian’s will and even roll her eyes with impunity. The sex is always consensual and Christian is adamant that Ana use “safe words” when she feels endangered.
And as for the sex, “Shades” shows that erotic lit has come a long way since the awful romance novels that were popular decades ago – covers featuring a bare-chested Fabio (or a Fabio look-alike) and using phrases to describe the body such as “throbbing” or “raging manhood,” “rigid shaft,” “pulsing member,” “heaving bosoms,” “dew-moistened petals,” “honeypot” and more unbearable prose. I won’t even go into the euphemisms for orgasm. (Let’s just say that love juices are often in great supply.) “No” didn’t always mean “no” in those books (although rape never seemed to prevent the female main character from falling in love with her attacker later on). And I may be dating myself, but the big erotic novel of my adolescent days was “Flowers in the Attic,” in which siblings abandoned for years in an attic by their neglectful mother and tended to by a psychotic grandmother have their sexual awakening – with each other. Eeeeewww.
So how might intelligent and socially aware women feel about this book? Probably that it’s not great literature. Maybe (depending on one’s sexual orientation, of course) that the sex is pretty hot – I mean, who wouldn’t like to come every single time? Definitely that Ana had choices and got her way in that the relationship was never the subservient, slave-based affair that Grey had initially demanded – and that she even ended up saving his wounded soul.
My generation grew up while “Second Wave Feminism” was in full force. Many women were questioning patriarchy and gender equality, broadening the struggle to include areas such as sexuality, workplace issues, and reproductive rights. From the National Organization of Women to smaller, localized organizations, women were fighting against a powerful system of male dominance. (Major achievements during my childhood included the passage of Title IX and ‘Roe v. Wade.’ Not too shabby.) So once you move closer to equality with men, what could be better than … being sexually submissive to a man (but getting what you learn you’ve been wanting the whole time)?
In the end, “Grey” is about love; sexual awakening and learning how to ask for what you want and need; and having the power to change even the most powerful and rigid man. Ana shows who is really in control as she changes Christian through the power of love; now if only I could get my partner to change out the empty toilet paper roll …
Posted on
June 26, 2012 by
Genevieve
As an educator, I frequently get questions about pubic lice, aka crabs.
Pubic lice (PL) affect people all over the world. PL are typically found in the genital hair, but have been found in leg hair, armpits, facial hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. The PL are usually spread through close sexual contact or contact with an infected person’s clothing (especially underwear), linens and used towels.
PL are usually more sluggish than head lice and attach themselves to several hairs. If someone is infected they usually don’t see the lice, but will probably see the nits (eggs). PL are annoying, itchy and a pain to treat, but are not going to cause any serious problems. The urban legend that you can get crabs from toilet seats is not true. PL are unable to walk on smooth surfaces and need to feed on blood from a live human body. They will die within 1-2 days if they are not attached to a person. So, if someone you have been with for a long time suddenly becomes infected with PL, call their bluff if they said they got it from a dirty bathroom. If you or your partner becomes infected with PL, you should also be tested for STDs.
Why are they called crabs?
When an adult pubic lice is viewed under a microscope it looks like a crab. It has two front legs that look like the pinchers on a crab, and four back legs.
How are they treated?
PL are treated with an over-the-counter medication or prescription shampoo, mousse, or lotion. Some people also remove their pubic hair. Clothing and linens should be machine washed and dried or placed in a tightly sealed plastic bag for two weeks to ensure the lice and nits have died. The infected person should notify any sexual partners they have had contact with in the previous month to seek treatment. They should not have contact with any sexual partners until they can ensure that they are lice-free.
Thankfully, in today’s modern culture we don’t see as many cases of PL. The medical community speculates that it is because of the trend towards shaving, waxing or trimming the pubic hair. Interesting fact: during the sixteenth century, women who were prostitutes used merkins (pubic wigs) to hide the that they shaved their pubic hair because of a pubic lice infection or lesions from STDs. People now use the merkins on movie sets to hide their waxed or shaven genitals or to ensure that the film is not considered full-frontal by the ratings system when they are nude onscreen.
For more information on STDs, visit the Centers for Disease Control.
Posted on
June 25, 2012 by
Fosgood
So you’re back in the dating game. It’s exciting, but you want to make sure your needs are met and you don’t want to be pressured into doing something sexual that you may feel is repulsive, scary, dangerous or just yucky. How do you begin negotiating with someone who may find what you like to do repulsive, scary, dangerous or yucky? People have such a difficult time discussing sex with a new partner. I’m here to help!
In countries with the lowest levels of unplanned pregnancy and STI rates, everybody knows the rules. Since elementary school the same messages about safer sex are given by parents, religious organizations, the media, and schools. Again and again. Year after year. No negotiating. No unprotected sex. Testing before a new partner. That’s it!
In this country people make up their own rules. How do you make your rules clear to a new partner and how do you know their rules? I have a solution that would make the conversation go so much easier or even eliminate it altogether if only everybody would do it. I call it “Rules for SEX.” Think of what a joy it would be to just whip out your “rules” and say, “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” Exchange lists, take out your highlighters and begin. Here are a few suggested steps:
Step one: THINK
What must a potential partner absolutely agree to, what would you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances, and what could you negotiate?
Step two: WRITE
Decorate your rules, use pictures, have them reflect who you really are or who you want to be. By taking the time to write your rules, you can clarify what you want from a partner and are less likely to slip into behaviors you want to avoid.
Step three: SHARE
Have them write their rules then exchange, negotiate, have a good laugh – or run for the door.
Posted on
June 22, 2012 by
Eleanor
Happy Friday, kittens! We’ve had tons of responses to the post earlier this week on the NuvaRing – lots of love for the ring. So, we’re going to share another story via Bedsider about love for the NuvaRing – maybe you’ll think about it as your form of birth control.
Have a great weekend – and whatever you do (wink, wink), make sure it’s protected!
Posted on
June 21, 2012 by
Genevieve
There are so many pregnancy resources out there, it can be difficult to sift through all of them to find the information you are looking for. Here are a few that I like. I hope they help answer some of the questions or concerns you encounter during your pregnancy.
American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists - this site offers fact sheets on the most frequently asked questions about contraception, gynecologic problems, pregnancy, special procedures, and women’s health.
There are a lot of baby apps for your phone. These are the two free apps I like the best on my Verizon phone:
Baby Bump – This application tracks how far along you are in your pregnancy, gives you a daily quick tip, and weekly information on the size of your baby, its features and development, and your body changes (like farting more often or bloating that makes you feel like you are Violet from Willie Wonka). The app also contains a forum, a weight tracker, and a daily journal for your measurements and emotional status.
Baby Center - This application also tracks how far along you are, but gives you a wider range of quick tips with the ability to find more information on a particular topic. It also allows you to quickly scroll up and down to find information from previous weeks, or skip ahead. It contains a checklist of things you can do to prepare or feel better, week to week updates, a birth club forum on a variety of topics, and a “more” button for other baby center resources.
I would recommend downloading a few of the free pregnancy apps you think would be helpful or interesting to you and then deleting the ones you don’t use.
Text4baby - you can sign up for this program by texting BABY to 511411 (or BEBE in Spanish) to receive text messages each week. The messages focus on a variety of topics that include birth defect prevention, immunization, nutrition, seasonal flu, mental health, oral health, and safe sleep. Text4baby messages also connect women to prenatal and infant care services if they need to seek a provider.
Medical provider - Please call your medical provider, midwife, or your provider’s medical assistant as many times as you need to. If this is your first pregnancy you will have a lot of questions and hear a million different things from friends and family, which will probably make you a bit confused and/or worried about whether you are doing or not doing something correctly. Your first prenatal visit is usually around nine weeks. During this visit they will ask you a lot of medical questions, but be prepared with your own set of questions. Make sure they take the time you need to go over your questions on prenatal vitamins, their recommendations on unpasteurized cheeses and lunch meats, your diet, etc.
Books - There are a plethora of great books out there, but here a few recommendations from Mary’s previous post called Pregnancy, Childbirth & Parenting: What to Expect When No One Tells You What’s REALLY Going to Happen which contained the following recommended titles: Great Expectations, Spiritual Midwifery, Birthing From Within, A Child Is Born, Mayo Clinic Guide To A Healthy Pregnancy, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Your Pregnancy Week By Week, Your Pregnancy and Birth, and The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy. Your local library should have most of these titles and borrowing (rather than buying) saves you some money. If they don’t have the book you are looking for on the shelf, ask the librarian if they can locate it within your state or county through an inter-library loan.
*Do you have a particular pregnancy topic you would like us to blog about? Please send us some suggestions on topics you would like us to cover.
Posted on
June 20, 2012 by
Firdaus
Did you know that the United States ranks number 12 globally in the number of sex partners its citizens have? On average, Americans have 10.7 partners, tying with Canada. In the article, “sex” is not defined, so it’s not clear whether it’s referring strictly to male-female intercourse, or variations of sexual activity. In either case, the top three contenders are Turkey (14.5 partners per person), Australia (13.3 partners per person), and New Zealand with 13.2. The study found the global average of sex partners to be 9.
So where do you fit into the equation, and who cares about how many partners you’ve had? Well, there are definitely double standards within many cultures (including our own) in which (traditionally gendered) men are esteemed for having higher partner rates (what some people casually label a “pimp” or a “baller”) while (traditionally gendered) women with higher numbers are discredited or socially dismissed as deviants (often harassed as “sluts” or “loose”). Here at Planned Parenthood, your number of sexual partners makes no difference in our respect or compassion for you, regardless of your gender. However, we do care about your sex partner number in the context of exposure rate and safety.
Have you ever seen a sexual-exposure chart? It is a mathematical equation constructed to predict your exposure to other partners based on how many partners one has had. So, if every sex partner you’ve had has had as many partners as you’ve had, you are at risk of being exposed to every sexual partner they have had, as well. In no time, you can quickly see how your exposure rates skyrocket as your partner rate increases.
So let me give you a few examples. If you’ve had one partner, and that one partner has only had you as a partner, your exposure number is “1” because you and your partner have only exposed one another. Now, if you’ve had three partners, and they’ve each had three partners, your exposure rates quickly rises to seven. So let’s just bounce up to the global average. According to this equation, if you’ve had sex with nine people, your exposure rate soars to 511. Yep, backtrack and read that one over again: 511! Now let’s not stop there. Based on the national average of 12, the average American has been exposed to 4095 sexual partners. That is almost FIVE THOUSAND opportunities for sexually transmitted infections to spread.
So you see, we here at Planned Parenthood are serious when we talk about the risks of sexually transmitted infections. We’re not simply considering the partners you’ve had personally, we’re factoring in the risk of exposure from each sexual partner your partners have had. So this is why the higher the number of partners, the more likely we are going to emphasize your need for sexually transmitted infection testing, including HIV. One in five adults has genital herpes. One in four teenage females has/had an STI. These numbers are real, folks!
So this is why we at Feronia write posts about cervical cancer, HPV, sexually transmitted infections, and this is why we’re always chanting “condoms, condoms, condoms, lube, lube, lube!” (condoms create a barrier between genital contact, and lube helps to prevent condoms from tearing). Consistent condom use and routine STI screenings, along with honest communication between partners, can significantly reduce your risk of contracting syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, HSV, HIV and other sexually transmissible infections and diseases.
No matter how many partners you’ve had, Planned Parenthood is here for you, without judgment, to help you stay or get back on track to sexual health. Have YOU been tested lately?
Posted on
June 19, 2012 by
E.G. Hanna
Yes, that’s a haiku, what can I say; I really love my Nuva Ring. I spend a lot of time at work counseling women on their birth control options, and I’ve noticed that sometimes when women request the pill, it’s with a sigh and a “Well I’ll just try to set my phone alarm or do it when I get up in the morning,” after telling me how last time they just couldn’t remember to take it. You know, I can’t take pills either. I’m forgetful, and worse, when I do remember sometimes I’m just too lazy to get up and go to the other room to get them. Luckily I discovered the Nuva Ring. We’ve all seen the commercial with the annoyingly catchy jingle (Oh oh, oh oh oh oh!), but it’s still something a lot of women aren’t very familiar with.
The gist: It’s a plastic ring, you place it at the top of the vagina by your cervix, where it releases hormones over the course of 3 weeks and prevents ovulation, just like the birth control pill does. The Nuva Ring site does a nice job of explaining how to insert it: “After washing and drying your hands, remove NuvaRing from the foil pouch. Holding NuvaRing between your thumb and index finger, press the sides together. Insert NuvaRing while lying down, squatting, or standing with one leg up – whatever is most comfortable for you. Gently push the folded ring into your vagina. The exact position of NuvaRing is not important for it to be effective. If you feel discomfort, NuvaRing is probably not inserted back far enough into the vagina. Use your finger to gently push the NuvaRing farther into your vagina. Rest assured, NuvaRing cannot be pushed too far up or get lost in your body. In fact, NuvaRing cannot go farther than the cervix. Once inserted, keep NuvaRing in place for three weeks in a row.” To remove, just reach up with your finger, hook it around the edge of the ring, and pull it right out. After seven days (just like your seven days of placebo pills in your pill pack), put a new one in.
There is nothing else quite like the Ring on the market yet, so I get some strange looks when I tell women about it. “Oh … no.” “It just sits there inside you?” “I feel weird having some foreign object inside of me.” Fair enough! Yes, it’s a plastic ring; yes, you have to keep it inside your vagina; yes, it stays there for at least three weeks. It’s a little weird. But I promise you don’t feel it when it’s there, and usually your partners can’t feel it (and if they can, it’s not ever-present, and it’s not uncomfortable). It’s the most convenient method that has combined hormones, which are best for keeping your periods regular (unlike the Depo shot or the Mirena IUD which, while more long-term, alter or end your period while in use). Although you can leave it in for a full four weeks if you like, and insert a new ring right away, allowing you to skip your period if that’s more your style. (Always ok this with your doctor first.)
Have you guys ever tried it? What was your experience?
Posted on
June 18, 2012 by
Guest Post
Today is a guest post from one of the other members of our affiliate who also works with a gender studies department at a local college.
When I first decided to come out, I was prepared for people to say a lot of different things to me. There was one reaction that I never expected but, unfortunately, it’s one of the ones that has kept on popping up over the years, despite the many gains that we’ve made for LGBT issues:
“But you don’t exist.”
People who tell me that bisexuals are a myth are a demographically diverse bunch: I’ve gotten this reaction from straight folks and from members of the queer community; from people younger than me as well as from folks in my grandparents’ generation; from medical and community health professionals; and I’ve gotten it when I’ve been in relationships with women, with men, and while single. After almost two decades of being out, it’s kind of funny: since I’m still around to hear it, isn’t that inherent proof that I’m really here?
Now on one hand, being told that I’m a figment of my own imagination is a mildly surreal experience. But I’m not Tinkerbell and I don’t need anyone to clap and shout “I believe in bisexuals” in order for me to stay alive. So why write about it?
I’ve gotten pretty immune to the weirdness that comes with these comments, but they’re still having a real impact on people’s lives. At a recent queer event, a bi teenager talked about what coming out was like for her, and the fact that she “didn’t know that [bisexuality] was an option.” She felt like she had to choose but she couldn’t, so she thought there was something wrong with her.
Someone else recently sent this card to PostSecret – the text on the card reads:
My friends love and support me as a Lesbian they would disown me if they knew I’m really bisexual.
She added on the back of the card “and it kills me inside.”
Some of this gets at larger questions of social norms: in a heteronormative society that sees gender as binary, a shift from ‘John likes women’ to ‘John likes men’ challenges the belief that everyone’s straight … but not much else. Changing ‘John likes women’ to ‘John likes people’ brings more assumptions out to be dismantled, and it therefore encounters more resistance. Given our culture’s current attitudes to gender and sexuality, that reaction isn’t unexpected, but we need to address these issues if we ever want to get rid of that resistance.
There are a lot of other issues around bisexuality that I’m not getting into here: the reactions men get when coming out as bi and how they differ from the reactions women get; the increase in the number of public figures who are out as bi (and the fact that a majority of them are white cisgendered women); and the discussion of whether the term ‘bisexual’ reinforces ideas of binary gender or not. BiNet USA and The Bisexual Index have a lot more information and are worth checking out, if you’re interested.
The fact that these issues exist within both straight and queer cultures can be disheartening, but visibility, acceptance and understanding are ongoing processes. As more people know someone who’s bi (or realize that they already know some of us), myths and assumptions get dismantled. For Pride this month, I’ll be celebrating the strides we’ve made as a community. I’ll also be wearing my ‘Love is a many gendered thing’ t-shirt, and will be looking forward to the progress that we’re going to keep making as we move ahead.