Author Archives: Genevieve

Sweet Notes to Leave For Your Sweetie

Posted on June 18, 2013 by Genevieve

I was thinking today about how much sleep I have lost and how drastically my life has changed since having a baby. I then started thinking about how precious the little bit of real time I spend with my partner is and how I would like to be more present with him when we are together. I tried to think of something small but meaningful that I could do to show him that I still think of him in a tender way and I came up with leaving him a sweet message every day to remind myself and him of the love we share for each other.

Here are a few notes and quotes you can leave for your sweetheart:

You are my favorite reason to lose sleep.
I want your skin pressed against mine.
Be naked when I get home.
Psst… I would love you for the rest of your life if you let me.
If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind, I would say once, because you never really left.
I woke up wanting to kiss you.
We kiss like we invented it.
I can’t picture life without anyone but you.
When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me.
You never leave my mind, even when I have a million things to worry about.
I love you not just for who you are but for who I am when I am with you.

Good things to remember and share, don’t you think?

A Few Tips for New Parents – Baby Products You Actually Need

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Genevieve

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I know what you are thinking, “If I hear one more person give me their two cents…”, but here are a few tips and items that I found really helpful.

Nursing - If you decide to breastfeed, make sure that you have the nurses come in every time you feed the baby. They all have different techniques and tips and many women find that they have trouble breastfeeding on their own when they return home.

Sleep when your baby sleeps - I know you feel like there are 50 million things you should get done but forget about them. Your house will never be clean or at least as clean as it was before the baby arrived.

Going out to eat - This is the age where you can go to a restaurant and generally have a hassle-free meal. They sleep a lot and are not mobile yet.

Baby gadgets – Don’t go overboard with all of the seats, toys, and new gadgets. They will just take up space and make you feel like Babies ‘R’ Us took over your house. I have six items that I found to be life savers. If you know that you would like to have another child or pass it on, you may want to buy gender neutral items and clothing.

Rock and Play Sleeper – it looks like a baby cot and can be folded up and moved to another room, another house, and can be placed right next to the bed for nighttime feedings. It is also great for reflux babies or babies who don’t like sleeping flat. (I use the Fisher-Price My Little Snugabunny Newborn Rock n’ Play Sleeper.)
Swing – If I was going to recommend one item this would be it. Make sure to get the kind that plugs and does not require batteries. I use this for his afternoon naps, when I need to eat and he is fussy, or when I need to run to the bathroom. It is multi-purpose and can probably be used up to 6 months. (I use Fisher-Price Cradle ‘N Swing, My Little Snugabunny.)
Bouncy Chair – I don’t use this one a lot, but my mother-in-law loves to use it when she is watching him. She bought the kind that has the toy bar that dangles across the chair and vibrates. I find that it is really helpful when you need to take a shower or get ready for work and need to be able to have the baby near you. (I use Fisher-Price Deluxe Bouncer, My Little Snugabunny.)
Ergo Baby Carrier- This carrier has been really useful for quick trips into Target or the grocery store. It can also be used as hip carrier. If you want to try it out first, you can check with your local Birthing House/Center. They will probably have a babywearing group where you can rent a carrier for a month to see if you like it. Watch the Youtube videos for instructions on how to use it versus trying to use the instruction manual. (Here’s a link to the Ergo Baby Carrier Black with Camel Lining.)
Medela Breast Pump- This is the best pump by far. I would recommend this pump for anyone who needs to use it daily. Buy it: Medela Pump in Style Advanced Breast Pump with On the Go Tote.
Activity Mat- The mat can be moved from room to room and gives your baby something to look at and pull on as she gets older. I got a lot of use from 0-5 months of age. I like this particular one because it has tags on the bars and the mat to change the placement of the toys. Buy it here: Taggies Bug and Hugs Play Gym.

*The links included are affiliate links; however, they are truly what I use on a day-to-day basis.

The Positive Side-Effects of Sex

Posted on May 27, 2013 by Genevieve

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Yes, indeed! Found at The Garden DC.

You know that cookie you ate last night while watching TV, but felt guilty about eating an hour later? Don’t worry about it; you can burn most of it off by having a little fun with your partner.

Sex burns between 75-150 calories per half-hour. Sex may also help your muscles stay lean in the process. According to Desmond Ebanks, MD, founder and medical director of Alternity Healthcare in West Hartford, Connecticut, “Sexual arousal and orgasm releases the hormone testosterone, which, among other things, is necessary to build and maintain bone and lean muscle tissue.”

Here are a few other benefits you may not have been aware of:

Improve Heart Health. It may help decrease your chances of heart disease by increasing your heart rate and blood flow.
Relieve Stress. Sexy time can also help improve your relationship, lower your cortisol levels, and in turn make you feel less anxious and reduce your stress level.
Relieve Pain. Do you have a back ache or headache? No problem, relieve it naturally with an orgasm. Your body will secrete oxytocin which then releases the feel good chemicals known as endorphins.
Insomnia. Forget the teas and melatonin, have sex with your partner several times a week to connect and get those ZZZZ’s you have been longing for.
Cold and Flu Vaccine. Obviously sex isn’t a vaccine, but what a fun way to help ward off those pesky bacteria and viruses. Dr. Ebanks states that, “Individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30 percent higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A.
Better Skin. Who doesn’t want more youthful looking skin! Sex can release a hormone known as DHEA that has been found to improve your complexion.

So next time you feel tired, remember to head for the bedroom before the refrigerator… and hey, if you also have the cookie you won’t feel as guilty about it.

“Mommy, What’s a Pocketbook?”

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Genevieve

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Sexuality is the #1 topic that parents dread discussing or acknowledging with their kids. I understand and sympathize with parents who have a difficult time with the subject, but they need to take a deep breath and get over it. The health, safety, and well-being of your child or children is more important than your temporary discomfort in addressing this topic. I was recently at a large dinner party and one of the couples was talking with another couple and telling them how I helped them overcome that fear. They realized it was something they had to do because they love their children. The information could potentially help protect their two children from adult and child predators. More schools are implementing the use of anatomically correct names in their ‘Stranger Danger’ and abuse prevention programs for this very reason.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), teaching children anatomically correct terms, age-appropriately, promotes positive body image, self-confidence, and parent-child communication; discourages, perpetrators; and, in the event of abuse, helps children and adults navigate the disclosure and forensic interview process. Many of us are given funny names for our genitals at a very young age (i.e. Pocketbook, Taco, Va JayJay, Wiener, Johnson) and taught directly or indirectly that our “private area” should not be discussed. Some of us had very little information and a lot of misinformation growing up. This leads to adults who then feel uncomfortable and embarrassed discussing age-appropriate sexuality education with their children and perpetuate the idea that anything dealing with “down there” is shameful, dirty, or secret. It creates confusion for the child and sends a clear message that if and when they have questions or concerns, they should not go to their parents or trusted adult. I know the idea of your child one day being sexually active (or even asking challenging sexuality questions) is scary, but when it does happen, think about the answers to the following questions:

1) Don’t you want them to feel good about it and know how to protect their bodies?

2) Would you want them to get their questions answered by you or random websites on the internet, or friends?

Click here for helpful resources on how to talk to your kids about sex.

Part II: How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Genevieve

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(Today, part two of our series, How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary. Did you get your annual for this year, yet?)

Yesterday, “How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary – Part I,” talked about tips for scheduling your first pelvic appointment. Now I’ll give you some information about what to expect the day of your appointment.

When You Arrive - As with all medical appointments, paperwork comes first. Expect questions about the medications you are taking, allergies, your menstrual cycle and your last menstrual period (LMP), sexual activity, family medical history questions, and any current medical problems. Medical assistants will check your weight and blood pressure. If you have had any sexual trauma or if it is your first exam, please let them know when you schedule the appointment and write something on the form indicating that you need them to be extra gentle, slow, and explain everything they are doing or about to do during the exam. If you like, the medical assistant will hold your hand or you can bring a support person (but they can’t come into the exam room with you).

The Exam - If you are having a complete well-woman exam (pelvic/pap/breast check), you will be asked to remove everything but your socks. You will be instructed to put on a paper gown (opening in front for breast exam) and drape a paper sheet over the lower half of your body. You will then lie down on the exam table. The medical provider (MP) will knock on the door and ask if they can enter the room. You will be asked to move down to the end of the table and put your feet in stirrups. Your MP will then look at the vulva (clitoris, urethra, labia, vaginal opening) and the rectum to make sure they don’t see anything that looks abnormal. They will then insert a speculum made of plastic or metal into the vagina. After it is inserted they will open it wide enough to see your cervix. If you have never seen your vulva or cervix up close and personal, you can ask for the MP to show you with a mirror. If your MP notices any abnormal vaginal discharge or unusual smell they will take a sample of the discharge. If you are having a pap smear the MP will wipe your cervix with a thin Q-tip-like brush to test for cervical cancer.

During the pelvic exam portion of the exam the MP will insert one or two gloved fingers into the vagina and place their hand on your lower abdomen to feel your reproductive organs and make sure they are the right size, not painful, etc. Please let the MP know if you experience any pain during this part of the exam. Some MPs will also perform a rectal exam by placing a gloved finger into the anus to check for anything abnormal. After the exam they will ask if you have any questions and then you will be done!

It sounds like a lot, but the exam is over before you know it. If you have any additional questions, please contact your MP or local Planned Parenthood.

Part I: How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Genevieve

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(We’re re-running this series today and tomorrow to focus on our “annual” – and truly, how important it is to have it annually, even if it’s scary.)

First, I want to state that I understand that there are a million things you would rather do than have a pelvic exam, but it is something you shouldn’t put off because it could detect a medical problem or infection, and could even save your life.

In the United States, approximately 12,000 women get cervical cancer every year. If detected early through a pap test, there is a very high survival rate. The new recommendation is for individuals to have the exam at the age of 21, unless there is a medically necessary reason to have it sooner. However, many women will have visited a gynecologist or medical provider before this time to address other concerns related to birth control options, STI information and/or testing, menstrual issues, etc.

Most women will have the exam one time per year, but some will have it more frequently or less frequently depending on age, medical history, and medical or sexual health needs.

Helpful Tips

Make sure that you don’t schedule the appointment when you have your period. Your menstrual blood can affect the lab results and you will probably have to reschedule.
Do not have vaginal sex or insert anything into the vagina for at least one to two days prior to the exam. This includes feminine products such as douches, feminine sprays, and powders.
Remember to write down any questions you have for the medical provider that you would like answered during your visit.
Let the receptionist or person scheduling your appointment know if you are uncomfortable with having the exam because it is your first time, you have never had vaginal sex, or you have experienced sexual trauma. This will let the staff know that they need be slower and gentler, explain what they are doing in more detail, and they may also want to use a smaller speculum. You can also request to have a family member or friend in the room with you, or have a staff member hold your hand.
If you are unsure whether you should have a pelvic exam or haven’t had one in a while, you can locate a Planned Parenthood near you.

Stay tuned for my next post, where I will discuss what to expect during the exam.

No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard: Part II

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Genevieve

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The follow up to No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard: Part I . . .

The day of the induction and delivery of my baby was not at all what I thought it would be like. I had Pitocin administered through an IV at 6:00am the next day and by 11:00am my water broke and all hell broke loose in my body. I went from feeling like I could handle labor and the level of pain I was experiencing to having my husband and Doula take turns jamming their fists into my back. I was one of the unfortunate women who have posterior babies (the baby’s skull is in the back of the pelvis). It was the most incredible back pain I have ever experienced and I needed the counter pressure of their fists to get through each contraction. Once I reached 8 centimeters I asked for something to slow the contractions down and give me a break! They gave me a small amount of pain medication but it didn’t do much to help me. I eventually got to 10 centimeters and started pushing. Everyone kept telling me to grab my legs and thought to myself, they want ME to grab my legs?

I am normally very modest and well-mannered but at this point I didn’t care what was showing or coming out of me, and I was swearing like a sailor. I always hear women say that they are nervous they might poop. When you reach the point of no return, you don’t care what is going on, you just want that baby out of you. I was placed in all kinds of squatting positions and nothing worked. Two hours later, my bladder was swelling and there was no head in sight. I was in a lot of pain and the decision was made to have a C-section before it turned into an emergency C-section. It was the worst case scenario for me, but I knew I didn’t have a choice. I had a spinal block/epidural and by 6:41pm, I had a baby. It wasn’t what I envisioned but I had a healthy baby and eventually came to terms with the outcome. Many women experience a range of emotions and go through a grieving process when they have an undesirable birth experience. Information and resources for women who have had cesareans can be found at the International Cesarean Awareness Network.

No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard: Part I

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Genevieve

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I had a baby 3 months ago and my life as I knew it has changed forever. I am in my mid-thirties and planned my pregnancy, so I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting myself into. I can now say that I had no idea and was pretty clueless. My partner was even more unprepared. I planned on having a vaginal birth and took as many steps as I could to ensure it would happen that way. Well, you know what they say about plans . . .

I ended up being induced because I went to 42 weeks. I thought I would go early or maybe a few days over the due date. After each day passed I was sure he would come before I would have to be induced. During week 40-41 I did everything that was safe to try to coax him out. I tried sex, acupuncture, massage, drinking olive oil, lots of spicy food, walking, yoga positions, and I even tried using the breast pump. Obviously they didn’t work but I was desperate and wanted him out! I ended up working up to the day that I was induced. The following day was anti-climactic. I showed up at 5:00 pm, filled out a ton of paperwork, put on the dreadful gown, and started the process of having Cervidil inserted vaginally to open the cervix. I had to stay in the room, and have monitors attached to my belly, but I was able to have some food and could tolerate the medium grade menstrual cramps I was experiencing though out the night from the medication. At this point I was not happy with the outcome but had come to terms with being induced and was ready to take on labor the next day, or so I thought . . .

Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Genevieve

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I am now 38 weeks pregnant.

I am obviously very pregnant to friends, family and strangers. It can be really fun and exciting for people to notice and ask you how far along you are, but it can also be a little intrusive or annoying. Here are a few of the comments that my friends and I have received.

- A friend and I were at the gym and an older woman came up to my friend and asked her when her due date was and if she wanted her hand-me-down baby clothes. She was not pregnant! It also made her feel even more self-conscious about her weight, which is why she was at the gym!

- I have had 8-10 different people ask me if I planned the pregnancy. These individuals obviously don’t know me because if they did they would know that it was a very planned pregnancy. This is not a question you should ask unless you know the person very well.

- I have had a slew of comments from elderly men. I was in the checkout line and the man behind me pointed at my belly and very loudly asked the cashier if she was going to charge me for the watermelon. I had another man stop me as I was leaving a restaurant and tell me that the song, “Any Day Now” came to mind for him as he starred at my belly. The others have just made comments about how I must be giving birth soon because, “I look like I’m going to pop any second.”

- I have had several friends who were asked when they were expecting and they had already had their babies several months ago. They were not happy campers!

I am posting this blog because it is funny, but also to caution anyone who might be well-intentioned but could end up sticking their foot in their mouth. I also caution people to ask if someone is pregnant unless they are really sure, because I have had several friends who were thin and visibly showing, but miscarried around 4-5 months. For more comments on what people shouldn’t say, but have to pregnant women, visit Baby Center.

Smoking For Two and Why You Should Quit Now

Posted on December 25, 2012 by Genevieve

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We all have our vices but smoking is one of the hardest addictions for people to quit. I have seen family members, coworkers, and friends who have all battled or are still battling their addiction to cigarettes. With that said, I can’t think of a better reason to quit than the health of your baby. Smoking during pregnancy can increase the risk of miscarriage and stillbirth, prematurity, and low birth weight. It can also decrease the amount of oxygen and nutrients you supply to your baby and increase the baby’s chances of developing respiratory problems later in life. It is also important to note that second-hand smoke is harmful to the developing fetus. If a pregnant woman is continuously exposed to second hand smoke, it can increase the risk of mother and baby developing lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, allergies, asthma, SIDS, and other health problems.

If you are someone you know is thinking about becoming pregnant or is pregnant and would like to quit smoking, here are several tips.

Change your habits and replace smoking with mints or sugarless gum when you have the urge to smoke.
Find something that helps you relieve stress in a positive way like Zumba, walking, or a pottery class.
Avoid alcohol and caffeinated beverages because they can stimulate your urge to smoke.
Throw away all lighters, matches, cigarettes, and smoking devices.
Tell your family, friends, and coworkers that you are quitting and you do not want them to smoke around you or at your home.
Do not go to places (i.e. bars) where a lot of people are smoking.
For support in quitting, including free quit coaching, a free quit plan, free educational materials, and referrals to local resources in your state, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW (1-800-784-8669) or visit the website.
Some counties and states also provide free aides like nicotine patches and gum.
Contact your local Healthy Start to find free or low cost programs to help pregnant or parenting mothers.