Who knew masturbation had its own month! I would have been thrilled if it just had a day. I thought I knew nearly everything there is to know about masturbation, but two recent articles (this one and this one) even taught me a few things. Masturbation is a way for everyone to increase their understand of their own bodies and consequently allows them to guide a partner to increase the chances of a favorable “outcome.” Many couples have discordant sexual needs, schedules or medical situations where one partner is not willing or able to have sex on a specific day. If a couple is open and honest about their sexual desires and needs, and don’t feel threatened by a partner masturbating, it can be an enhancement, not a detraction to their sex lives.
First, the male:
- Apparently, male masturbation does not have the same health benefits as sex with a partner. Multiple studies demonstrate that intercourse benefits a male’s blood pressure, heart and prostate health, and helps manages pain. Even the makeup of semen is different.
- It’s not entirely risk free. Frequent or rough masturbation can cause minor skin irritation and forcefully bending an erect penis can rupture the chambers. Surgery may be required.
- How much is too much? There is never too much masturbation unless it starts to disrupt your work, social obligations, or you stop having sex with a partner because of it.
- Most guys masturbate. They masturbate if they are single, in a good relationship, or in a bad relationship. It’s more about relieving stress, clearing their head or helping them sleep than a reflection of how attractive they find their partner.
Next, the female:
- Even though most females don’t chat about masturbation with their friends like males tend to do, that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Women tend to feel more shame, but most women have masturbated at least once. Since way fewer women than males fail to orgasm, masturbation can be very helpful to having her understand what she needs to do.
- Women have a greater variation of methods and props than men. Most women need direct stimulation of the clitoris, so a vibrating ANYTHING may do the trick. Women who masturbate using a vibrator tend to have more orgasms with a partner.
- Women tend to focus on pleasing their partner, be thinking about the kids, going through a mental “to do” list during sex with a partner. While masturbating, she may concentrate just on herself.
- Masturbation can improve her mood, help her relax, and ease menstrual pain.
So, let’s be honest with what we need, what we do, and what we want to find pleasure and reap all the benefits of self-pleasuring.