The Feronia Project

Mucho Macho Pains: Two Husbands Experience Simulated Labor (ouch!)

Firdaus — Tue, 21 May 2013 12:00:54 +0000

For those who have experienced labor and childbirth, the pain can be indescribable. I can recall many moms talking about how, during labor, their husbands acted like they were over exaggerating or acting dramatic. Since males cannot experience the pains of pregnancy naturally, some smarty-pants scientists came up with a way of simulating labor pains via abdominal electrodes. I came across this video a couple of days ago (which has gone viral) in which two husbands get hooked to electrode-simulated labor-pains as their wives watch on (see the wives high-five about half way through, ha ha!). What a nice way for these guys to identify with the strength and courage moms everywhere!

How Abstinence-Only Education May Revictimize the Victim

Fosgood — Mon, 20 May 2013 12:00:55 +0000

I recently read an article by Elizabeth Smart about her ordeal being kidnapped at the age of 14 and being held in captivity for nine months where she was repeatedly raped. She was found walking down a street with her kidnappers. Numerous people asked her why she didn’t just run away. She recently has addressed this publicly by blaming her conservative upbringing which stresses abstinence until marriage as the only option. She recalled a lesson from school that compared someone who has strayed from this teaching as a piece of gum that had been chewed and thrown away. Since she could no longer be considered untainted by her family, church and community, she felt she was useless, and unlovable. What was the point of trying to run away when no one would see her as anything but a piece of trash?

As a teacher of comprehensive sexuality education for 20 years, I am still occasionally confronted by this thinking and method of trying to scare teens from sexual activity. Several teens have told me they were raped, but were afraid to tell their parents because of how they felt the parents would react. I’ve been asked how to tell really strict religious parents about a pregnancy. By delaying revealing the pregnancy until the parents notice limits options to adoption or keeping the baby and no prenatal care is received. I remember one 8^th grader who had sex one time approaching me after class. She knew exactly when sex occurred and since she hadn’t had a period in over 5 months she figured she must be pregnant. What really convinced her was that her “stomach now sticks out when it used to cave in.” I tried to convince her of the importance of telling her parents and how important it was to get prenatal care. She said she wasn’t even allowed to date and her parents would kill her. I saw her several months later and asked how she’d been. She informed me she had been in the hospital after drinking bleach to try to terminate her pregnancy and avoid telling her parents.

When talking to adults I try to express how important open communication is with teens and how trying to use shame, guilt and fear does not necessarily prevent sex but may prevent them from coming to you when they need you the most. Teens desperately need trusted adults in their lives to discuss everything, but especially sexuality. Even if you aren’t a parent, you may be the one person a teen feels safe coming to when in crisis. For help talking to a teen in your life, visit the Planned Parenthood website.

Fun Friday: Men-ups!

Mary — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:00:56 +0000

It’s Friday! Woo-hoo! A little birdie told us about this HILARIOUS series of men photographed in stereotypical pin-up poses. Visit Flickr to see the entire series.

Here’s a taste…

Body Image and…Chris Christie?

Eleanor — Thu, 16 May 2013 16:34:04 +0000

Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey. (c) Reuters

Feronians, perhaps you’ve seen the stories recently: Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey (and banded-about possible-presidential-candidate) recently had lap-band surgery to lose weight.

Christie has had a long problem with obesity, so we here at The Feronia Project applaud him for making the right decision for him on this difficult issue. It’s interesting, though – this is the first time I can remember a male political candidate being under such scrutiny for his weight. Ordinarily, as I’m sure we can all remember, it’s the women – Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, even former Republican candidate for Senate, Christine O’Donnell.

But many a male candidate has been overweight before and it’s never been mentioned: Newt Gingrich and Charlie Rangel spring to mind, two men on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Why is Christie getting such attention and does it signal a sea-change on how male politicians are viewed as well?

The Salon article referenced above about Newt Gingrich says that “it’s only regular guy politicians like Chris Christie” that receive attention about their weight. But I’m not sure – what do you think?

And another question I’m thinking about: could a possible female presidential candidate ever be overweight and still be considered a contender?

How to Talk About Abortion: Not in Her Shoes

Guest Post — Wed, 15 May 2013 12:00:48 +0000

Today’s post is written by one of our fabulous interns.

As a long-time ally and volunteer for Planned Parenthood I have often been engaged in discussions with family members or friends who do not necessarily agree with my beliefs about abortion, or who are interested to hear my thoughts on this issue. And I have often been tempted to jump into discussions on social media sites when friends post their personal convictions about abortion or links to articles discussing the topic. These conversations can be very tricky to navigate because I want to be honest and candid about my views without inflaming an argument.

Luckily, I was recently able to participate in a workshop on just this subject. The tips I learned have really helped me frame my approach to talking about abortion.

“I am not in her shoes.” As a Planned Parenthood supporter, this is the overarching message I should send out.

Instead of listing examples of hypothetical situations when a woman might need or want an abortion (ex. the fetus has a severe abnormality; or the pregnancy is a result of rape) emphasize that it would not be right for decisions to be imposed upon a woman; especially if you have not walked in her shoes. By offering justifications to choose abortion, I not only invalidate the rights of women who chose abortion for a different reason, but I also risk hitting gridlock in conversation with someone who does not agree that abortion would be an acceptable choice in my example. Instead I would recommend expressing that we do not know every woman’s situation, and we have to trust that women can make the best decisions for themselves.

Additionally, it is important to avoid falling into the trap of labeling others as “pro-life” or “pro-choice.” Abortion is a multifaceted and personal issue, and discussing it in a binary fashion is simply not productive in many cases. The categories of pro-life and pro-choice do not reflect the nuance and complexity with which many Americans understand and engage with this issue. In fact, 40% of recent voters say that their views on abortion “depend on the situation,” and nearly one-quarter of recent voters said that either both or neither of the labels “pro-life” and “pro-choice” describe their viewpoint. Instead of approaching this topic as a dichotomy with a “you are with me or against me” attitude, it is important to enter these discussions with sensitivity and openness. The emphasis should be that abortion should remain safe and legal (a statement most voters agree with), and “We have not walked in her shoes.”

For more information on this topic check out this excellent source of information.

SOS! Condoms, Please.

Mary — Tue, 14 May 2013 12:00:20 +0000

Durex recently launced an emergency condom delivery service. The iPhone app is called SOS Condoms, and it will deliver condoms to your door in an within one hour!

What kind of uniform would a condom delivery person wear? Head-to-toe rubber? A Durex-emblazened polo shirt announcing your urgent need to wrap it up? Actually, the delivery people are disguised as tourists, police officers, or pizza delivery people as to make the delivery more discreet.

How does it work? According the the app, you simply request a delivery, then you confirm your location. After that, you select the condoms you want, then wait for your delivery. You pay the delivery person once they arrive. Visit their website to see for yourself how it works. You can even vote for the next city to benefit from this delivery service (so far, Batman, Turkey is winning).

What do you think about this condom delivery service?

“Mommy, What’s a Pocketbook?”

Genevieve — Mon, 13 May 2013 19:41:30 +0000

Sexuality is the #1 topic that parents dread discussing or acknowledging with their kids. I understand and sympathize with parents who have a difficult time with the subject, but they need to take a deep breath and get over it. The health, safety, and well-being of your child or children is more important than your temporary discomfort in addressing this topic. I was recently at a large dinner party and one of the couples was talking with another couple and telling them how I helped them overcome that fear. They realized it was something they had to do because they love their children. The information could potentially help protect their two children from adult and child predators. More schools are implementing the use of anatomically correct names in their ‘Stranger Danger’ and abuse prevention programs for this very reason.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), teaching children anatomically correct terms, age-appropriately, promotes positive body image, self-confidence, and parent-child communication; discourages, perpetrators; and, in the event of abuse, helps children and adults navigate the disclosure and forensic interview process. Many of us are given funny names for our genitals at a very young age (i.e. Pocketbook, Taco, Va JayJay, Wiener, Johnson) and taught directly or indirectly that our “private area” should not be discussed. Some of us had very little information and a lot of misinformation growing up. This leads to adults who then feel uncomfortable and embarrassed discussing age-appropriate sexuality education with their children and perpetuate the idea that anything dealing with “down there” is shameful, dirty, or secret. It creates confusion for the child and sends a clear message that if and when they have questions or concerns, they should not go to their parents or trusted adult. I know the idea of your child one day being sexually active (or even asking challenging sexuality questions) is scary, but when it does happen, think about the answers to the following questions:

1) Don’t you want them to feel good about it and know how to protect their bodies?

2) Would you want them to get their questions answered by you or random websites on the internet, or friends?

Click here for helpful resources on how to talk to your kids about sex.

Fun Friday: A TED Talk That WILL Turn You Into A Feminist

Eleanor — Fri, 10 May 2013 15:00:07 +0000

Happy Friday, Feronians! I hope you have the best weekend ever.

On this Fun Friday, we’re sharing a great video that’s been making its way around the web recently – will this be the TED talk that turns all men into feminists? It’s interesting, that’s for sure:

Nexplanon: The Injectable Birth Control

Fosgood — Thu, 09 May 2013 18:12:16 +0000

Photo (c) Merck Pharmaceuticals.

Last week, I was helping in one of our clinics when I overheard someone say the next patient was getting Nexplanon inserted. Curious one that I am, I asked the Nurse Practitioner if I could watch, with the patient’s permission, naturally. With her approval granted, I entered the room and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.

She was in her late teens and accompanied by her mother. Although she was on Depo, so received shots every three months, she was very nervous and afraid she’d pass out. After she lay down on the exam table, the NP gave her an injection to numb the area under her left arm. A plastic device containing the small rod was inserted in the numbed area and the rod was inserted. A few adhesive strips and a pressure bandage were placed over the site. The entire procedure took about 5 minutes. Despite her initial anxiousness, she was chatting and laughing with her mother when she left the room.

Nexplanon works for 3 years. Three years without having to remember to take a daily pill, change a weekly patch, replace a ring once a month or get a shot every 3 months. The failure rate with these methods is greatly increased when human error comes into play.

Nexplanon is 99.9% effective in preventing pregnancy, the same as a tubal ligation or vasectomy (female and male sterilization). Along with the other hormonal methods it works by preventing an egg from being released from an ovary, thickening the cervical mucus and thinning the lining of the uterus.

As with any medicine or medical procedure, there are possible, but rare complications. Before you decide on what method works for you, do your research, know your medical history. And always remember that this method does NOTHING to prevent a sexually transmitted infection. To learn more visit www.nexplanon.org or visit Planned Parenthood’s website.

Part II: How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary

Genevieve — Wed, 08 May 2013 16:07:16 +0000

(Today, part two of our series, How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary. Did you get your annual for this year, yet?)

Yesterday, “How to Make Your Pelvic Exam Less Scary – Part I,” talked about tips for scheduling your first pelvic appointment. Now I’ll give you some information about what to expect the day of your appointment.

When You Arrive - As with all medical appointments, paperwork comes first. Expect questions about the medications you are taking, allergies, your menstrual cycle and your last menstrual period (LMP), sexual activity, family medical history questions, and any current medical problems. Medical assistants will check your weight and blood pressure. If you have had any sexual trauma or if it is your first exam, please let them know when you schedule the appointment and write something on the form indicating that you need them to be extra gentle, slow, and explain everything they are doing or about to do during the exam. If you like, the medical assistant will hold your hand or you can bring a support person (but they can’t come into the exam room with you).

The Exam - If you are having a complete well-woman exam (pelvic/pap/breast check), you will be asked to remove everything but your socks. You will be instructed to put on a paper gown (opening in front for breast exam) and drape a paper sheet over the lower half of your body. You will then lie down on the exam table. The medical provider (MP) will knock on the door and ask if they can enter the room. You will be asked to move down to the end of the table and put your feet in stirrups. Your MP will then look at the vulva (clitoris, urethra, labia, vaginal opening) and the rectum to make sure they don’t see anything that looks abnormal. They will then insert a speculum made of plastic or metal into the vagina. After it is inserted they will open it wide enough to see your cervix. If you have never seen your vulva or cervix up close and personal, you can ask for the MP to show you with a mirror. If your MP notices any abnormal vaginal discharge or unusual smell they will take a sample of the discharge. If you are having a pap smear the MP will wipe your cervix with a thin Q-tip-like brush to test for cervical cancer.

During the pelvic exam portion of the exam the MP will insert one or two gloved fingers into the vagina and place their hand on your lower abdomen to feel your reproductive organs and make sure they are the right size, not painful, etc. Please let the MP know if you experience any pain during this part of the exam. Some MPs will also perform a rectal exam by placing a gloved finger into the anus to check for anything abnormal. After the exam they will ask if you have any questions and then you will be done!

It sounds like a lot, but the exam is over before you know it. If you have any additional questions, please contact your MP or local Planned Parenthood.