Today, we’re re-running an oldie but a goodie: women and finance. Find out how you can break the trend below.

I’m going to fess up: one of my feminist passions is about women and finance.

Sounds boring, right? Well, it might not be when I put it to you this way: more than half of older women are so poor that they have to decide between food and medication - they cannot have both.

Why is this? Women often do not save for retirement; many women can be financially destroyed after divorce; and like it or not, more women leave the workforce to take care of their children and/or parents than men do. Add to that the still-present wage gap between men and women and it adds up to record numbers of women living in poverty.

(Seriously, read some of those links: the statistics are horrifying.)

What can you do to make sure this doesn’t happen to you? What can you do to make sure this doesn’t happen to your mother? What can you do to make sure that this doesn’t happen to your daughter? Well, here’s a few tips that I’ve learned in my research on this topic (please note: I am not a financial advisor, but I am passionate about the topic; some financial jargon ahead, so if you don’t know a word, look it up here):

• Please, please, please – save for retirement.

We’re in no way wading into the politics of this topic, but by and large, pensions are gone: if you or your parents are lucky enough to have one, please realize how lucky you are! Most of us have 401(k)s or 403(b)s with our jobs; use them! Contribute as much as you can to your retirement plan, but if your company matches your contribution with some money of their own, take advantage of it. (For example: if they “match 3%,” you need to contribute at least 3% to receive it. Magically, your 3% contribution becomes 6%. It is nearly-free money.)

Some advisors recommend contributing 15% of your income to your retirement – I would say just contribute as much as you can, even if it’s 3%. Why? It’s the magic of compound growth – you (hopefully) gain 8% or so on your investments over the year. It doesn’t matter much in the early years, but boy, does it matter in the later ones. 8% growth on $5,000? Your account gains $400 just for existing. However, 8% growth on $225,000? Your account gains $18,000 – just for existing.

Do it. Do it today.

• Married? Awesome. Hope for the best; plan for the worst.

We all hope that we will get married and stay with our spouse forever, am I correct? I hope that too for everyone, but unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. (By the way? It’s single women who are most at risk for falling into poverty.)

So, consider maintaining your own separate savings account during your marriage, if you’re comfortable with it. It’s also a good idea to always maintain a credit card in your own name only, as it can sometimes be difficult to obtain one during or even after a divorce. (Stay at home parents? This goes tenfold for you.) Also, it’s always a good idea to know what you and your spouse own jointly and what your spouse owns on their own.

However, if you’re actively considering divorce? Set up your own savings account now. There are a lot of expenses associated with divorce, least of which would be hiring a lawyer. (This article is a great resource to look at – just in case.)

A quick note: same-sex marriage and divorces are an area of law that is just now being created, so it’s very, very important that you consult a lawyer if you would be going through this.

• If you’re able, make sure you’re adequately insured.

Insurance is expensive – believe me, I know. What’s “adequately insured?” Well, it depends on what you can afford.

The ones you have to have? Health insurance. (We’ll be talking about this in depth all year on the Feronia Project – look out for the posts!) Disability insurance. (Have enough income to live on if you could never work again? No? Get disability insurance.) Renter’s/homeowner’s insurance. (Could you afford to buy everything in your house again if it burned down? No? Get insurance.)

Three other ones to consider, if you’re in the situation:

1. Life insurance – term life insurance is usually your best bet. Do you have kids? A spouse that depends on your income? Time to buy life insurance. No, it’s not fun to think about your own death, but it can help to know that the ones you care about will be OK.
2. Long-term care insurance. Can you afford to put your parents in a nursing home for the rest of their lives and still be able to do everything you want? No? Think about buying this - with an inflation rider, as this type of care will only become more expensive. (If your parents are under 70, ask them if they’ll consider purchasing the policy. If the monthly payment is too high for them, consider paying for half of it.)
3. Auto insurance. If you drive, get this one. I’ll share a personal story: last January, I got into what I thought was a small fender bender (not my fault, thankfully). Unfortunately, this small fender bender destroyed  my suspension and was more expensive to fix than the value of the car. It was a total write-off; I was shocked. However, with the payment from the insurance company and a payment from my emergency fund, I was able to upgrade to a much newer and more affordable car. Happy, happy day.

• A controversial one: your savings come first; your child’s come second.

I know, this is a tough one, but it’s a better idea to save for your retirement than for your child’s college education. Think about it this way: your child can get scholarships. There are no scholarships for retirement.

• Lastly, educate yourself.*

There’s this horrible stereotype that women don’t know anything about finances. Well, I think it’s time to change that. I’ve done my fair share of reading on the topic; here’s the ones I liked the most:

• Your Money and Your Man: How You and Prince Charming Can Spend Well and Live Rich
• Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance In Your Twenties and Thirties
• Protecting Your Parents’ Money: The Essential Guide to Helping Mom and Dad Navigate the Finances of Retirement
• and I also unabashedly love Learnvest, a finance site aimed at women.

What do you think? Is it time women took control of their finances – and their futures?

(Some of the above content includes affiliate links.)

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Feminism and…Finance? How Women Can Take Charge of Their Financial Futures
2. A Victory for Women’s Health and All Americans
3. Women’s Health & the ACA: The Benefits for Women

As a teacher of comprehensive sexuality education for 20 years, I am still occasionally confronted by this thinking and method of trying to scare teens from sexual activity. Several teens have told me they were raped, but were afraid to tell their parents because of how they felt the parents would react. I’ve been asked how to tell really strict religious parents about a pregnancy. By delaying revealing the pregnancy until the parents notice limits options to adoption or keeping the baby and no prenatal care is received. I remember one 8^th grader who had sex one time approaching me after class. She knew exactly when sex occurred and since she hadn’t had a period in over 5 months she figured she must be pregnant. What really convinced her was that her “stomach now sticks out when it used to cave in.” I tried to convince her of the importance of telling her parents and how important it was to get prenatal care. She said she wasn’t even allowed to date and her parents would kill her. I saw her several months later and asked how she’d been. She informed me she had been in the hospital after drinking bleach to try to terminate her pregnancy and avoid telling her parents.

When talking to adults I try to express how important open communication is with teens and how trying to use shame, guilt and fear does not necessarily prevent sex but may prevent them from coming to you when they need you the most. Teens desperately need trusted adults in their lives to discuss everything, but especially sexuality. Even if you aren’t a parent, you may be the one person a teen feels safe coming to when in crisis. For help talking to a teen in your life, visit the Planned Parenthood website.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Sexual Education: Teens Ask the Darnedest Questions
2. Abstinence: Does Just Saying ‘No’ Really Work?
3. Tales from the Field: Teen Pregnancy

Here’s a taste…

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Fun Friday: Her First Period
2. Fun Friday: It’s Time to Talk
3. Fun Friday: Out of the Closet Presents…

Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey. (c) Reuters

Feronians, perhaps you’ve seen the stories recently: Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey (and banded-about possible-presidential-candidate) recently had lap-band surgery to lose weight.

Christie has had a long problem with obesity, so we here at The Feronia Project applaud him for making the right decision for him on this difficult issue. It’s interesting, though – this is the first time I can remember a male political candidate being under such scrutiny for his weight. Ordinarily, as I’m sure we can all remember, it’s the women – Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, even former Republican candidate for Senate, Christine O’Donnell.

But many a male candidate has been overweight before and it’s never been mentioned: Newt Gingrich and Charlie Rangel spring to mind, two men on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Why is Christie getting such attention and does it signal a sea-change on how male politicians are viewed as well?

The Salon article referenced above about Newt Gingrich says that “it’s only regular guy politicians like Chris Christie” that receive attention about their weight. But I’m not sure – what do you think?

And another question I’m thinking about: could a possible female presidential candidate ever be overweight and still be considered a contender?

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Media, Surgery, and Body Image: Loving Your Vulva Isn’t Easy Nowadays
2. Distorted Body Images: A Personal Account
3. Links We Love in Sex & Health: Thursday Edition

As a long-time ally and volunteer for Planned Parenthood I have often been engaged in discussions with family members or friends who do not necessarily agree with my beliefs about abortion, or who are interested to hear my thoughts on this issue. And I have often been tempted to jump into discussions on social media sites when friends post their personal convictions about abortion or links to articles discussing the topic. These conversations can be very tricky to navigate because I want to be honest and candid about my views without inflaming an argument.

Luckily, I was recently able to participate in a workshop on just this subject. The tips I learned have really helped me frame my approach to talking about abortion.

“I am not in her shoes.” As a Planned Parenthood supporter, this is the overarching message I should send out.

Instead of listing examples of hypothetical situations when a woman might need or want an abortion (ex. the fetus has a severe abnormality; or the pregnancy is a result of rape) emphasize that it would not be right for decisions to be imposed upon a woman; especially if you have not walked in her shoes. By offering justifications to choose abortion, I not only invalidate the rights of women who chose abortion for a different reason, but I also risk hitting gridlock in conversation with someone who does not agree that abortion would be an acceptable choice in my example. Instead I would recommend expressing that we do not know every woman’s situation, and we have to trust that women can make the best decisions for themselves.

Additionally, it is important to avoid falling into the trap of labeling others as “pro-life” or “pro-choice.” Abortion is a multifaceted and personal issue, and discussing it in a binary fashion is simply not productive in many cases. The categories of pro-life and pro-choice do not reflect the nuance and complexity with which many Americans understand and engage with this issue. In fact, 40% of recent voters say that their views on abortion “depend on the situation,” and nearly one-quarter of recent voters said that either both or neither of the labels “pro-life” and “pro-choice” describe their viewpoint. Instead of approaching this topic as a dichotomy with a “you are with me or against me” attitude, it is important to enter these discussions with sensitivity and openness. The emphasis should be that abortion should remain safe and legal (a statement most voters agree with), and “We have not walked in her shoes.”

For more information on this topic check out this excellent source of information.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. I work with abortion. I will not apologize.
2. 40 Years After Roe: A New Conversation About Abortion
3. Abortion: New Language for a New Generation

What kind of uniform would a condom delivery person wear? Head-to-toe rubber? A Durex-emblazened polo shirt announcing your urgent need to wrap it up? Actually, the delivery people are disguised as tourists, police officers, or pizza delivery people as to make the delivery more discreet.

How does it work? According the the app, you simply request a delivery, then you confirm your location. After that, you select the condoms you want, then wait for your delivery. You pay the delivery person once they arrive. Visit their website to see for yourself how it works. You can even vote for the next city to benefit from this delivery service (so far, Batman, Turkey is winning).

What do you think about this condom delivery service?

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. How to Shop for Condoms
2. Introducing in a Health Center Near You*: One Condoms!
3. Police Destroying Condoms

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), teaching children anatomically correct terms, age-appropriately, promotes positive body image, self-confidence, and parent-child communication; discourages, perpetrators; and, in the event of abuse, helps children and adults navigate the disclosure and forensic interview process. Many of us are given funny names for our genitals at a very young age (i.e. Pocketbook, Taco, Va JayJay, Wiener, Johnson) and taught directly or indirectly that our “private area” should not be discussed. Some of us had very little information and a lot of misinformation growing up. This leads to adults who then feel uncomfortable and embarrassed discussing age-appropriate sexuality education with their children and perpetuate the idea that anything dealing with “down there” is shameful, dirty, or secret. It creates confusion for the child and sends a clear message that if and when they have questions or concerns, they should not go to their parents or trusted adult. I know the idea of your child one day being sexually active (or even asking challenging sexuality questions) is scary, but when it does happen, think about the answers to the following questions:

1) Don’t you want them to feel good about it and know how to protect their bodies?

2) Would you want them to get their questions answered by you or random websites on the internet, or friends?

Click here for helpful resources on how to talk to your kids about sex.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Protecting Your Child From Sexual Abuse
2. Where Do Babies Come From?
3. Sexual Education: Teens Ask the Darnedest Questions

On this Fun Friday, we’re sharing a great video that’s been making its way around the web recently – will this be the TED talk that turns all men into feminists? It’s interesting, that’s for sure:

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Fun Friday: It’s Time to Talk
2. Fun Friday: Giving Thanks…to You!
3. Fun Friday: Different is Normal

Photo (c) Merck Pharmaceuticals.

Last week, I was helping in one of our clinics when I overheard someone say the next patient was getting Nexplanon inserted. Curious one that I am, I asked the Nurse Practitioner if I could watch, with the patient’s permission, naturally. With her approval granted, I entered the room and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.

She was in her late teens and accompanied by her mother. Although she was on Depo, so received shots every three months, she was very nervous and afraid she’d pass out. After she lay down on the exam table, the NP gave her an injection to numb the area under her left arm. A plastic device containing the small rod was inserted in the numbed area and the rod was inserted. A few adhesive strips and a pressure bandage were placed over the site. The entire procedure took about 5 minutes. Despite her initial anxiousness, she was chatting and laughing with her mother when she left the room.

Nexplanon works for 3 years. Three years without having to remember to take a daily pill, change a weekly patch, replace a ring once a month or get a shot every 3 months. The failure rate with these methods is greatly increased when human error comes into play.

Nexplanon is 99.9% effective in preventing pregnancy, the same as a tubal ligation or vasectomy (female and male sterilization). Along with the other hormonal methods it works by preventing an egg from being released from an ovary, thickening the cervical mucus and thinning the lining of the uterus.

As with any medicine or medical procedure, there are possible, but rare complications. Before you decide on what method works for you, do your research, know your medical history. And always remember that this method does NOTHING to prevent a sexually transmitted infection. To learn more visit www.nexplanon.org or visit Planned Parenthood’s website.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. A Birth Control Method for Men?
2. BINGO! Free Birth Control = Fewer Abortions
3. Hypertension and Birth Control