Remember our contest from two weeks ago, giving away 5 copies of How Sex Works?

Well, here’s our winners: AmberB, AllyB, Rebekah, Taylor B & JP, you all won a copy – congratulations! Email me at eleanor@feroniaproject.org with your addresses and we’ll send them right along!

For those that didn’t win (and wow, did we love your sweet comments about Feronia! We hope you feel the love coming back to you.), we’ve got something fun for you too today: an awesome French condom commercial. It’s almost as good as their pain au chocolats.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Fun Friday: It’s Giveaway Time! How Sex Works
2. Fun Friday: What is VOX?
3. Fun Friday: Happy New Year, Grandma-Style

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Depo (aka DMPA), it is a progestin-based hormonal contraceptive method that is injected every three to four months by a healthcare professional, intramuscularly (in upper buttocks or upper arm). It is more than 99% effective in preventing pregnancy, though it does not protect against sexually transmitted infections.

Depo is routinely given in healthcare settings intramuscularly, though another formulation exists that can be administered subcutaneously into fatty tissue in the belly or upper thigh.

The objective of the study was to assess feasibility and acceptability of self-injecting the subcutaneous method, Depo SubQ. Subjects were enrolled in one of two health centers, were taught self-injection by research staff, and after successfully injecting in the health center, were sent home with three additional doses of the medication for at-home use. Subjects were then asked to complete a short survey regarding their experience with self-injection, including how easy/difficult it was, how willing/unwilling they were to recommend the method to a friend, whether they had any side-effects, and how satisfied/unsatisfied they were with the method.

Survey results concluded that participants felt the method was convenient (95%), easy (87%) and recommendable to others (94%). Twenty percent of injections were met with difficulty, most commonly cited as plunger resistance.

Though we do not currently offer this formulation of Depo in our health centers, it has already been approved for use by the FDA and we hope our contribution will lead to better uptake of the method.

We are very proud to have contributed to such a respected scientific journal, and look forward to continuing to contribute to the reproductive science community! We’re Planned Parenthood – and we’re more than you think!

So, would you be willing to self-inject your birth control method?

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Melinda Gates: A Leader in Reproductive Healthcare

Since I’m a sexpert and this was my first partner after a lengthy marriage and recent divorce for us both, condoms were definitely part of the picture. We’d both been in long, monogamous marriages and were sure of our STI status, but I wasn’t on birth control and was premenopausal. My first husband had been born when his father was retired and mom was 48. No chances of that happening for me!

I’d given birth to 2 daughters and was fed up with hormonal methods and the diaphragm. I’d wanted my husband to get a vasectomy. But despite my best efforts, he was staunchly against it. He couldn’t adequately verbalize his reasons as far as I was concerned. After all I’d gone through, I’d had enough of taking all the responsibility. What I saw as his selfish, unfounded fears, was one of the many obstacles in our marriage remaining happy and healthy.
But, back to my love story! As we chatted over dinner, he suddenly said, “So I know your concerns about the safer sex stuff and all that, but is there a reason we still are using condoms?”

Startled, to say the least, I responded, “Well, I can still get pregnant.”

“Not with me you can’t,” he quipped. I found out that he had already had a vasectomy and needless to say, I was thrilled!

I’d know from the start that this man was more concerned with others than he was with himself. Always gentle, asking how I’d slept the night before, how my day was, what he could do to help in the kitchen. This act of sharing responsibility for birth control was right in character. If I hadn’t already fallen madly and passionately in love with him, I would have at that moment.
“Waiter! Check, please!”

Nearly 13 years later, I’m delighted to report that our love and passion is as strong as ever. I’m a very lucky woman.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Self Love is Safe Love: A History of Masturbation
2. Why I Love Sesame Street
3. Love Making: It’s About Connection, Not Erection

There I was, naked from the waist down, in a room with a man I barely knew. His hand strategically wrapped around my prized possessions.

I kept thinking, “What am I doing here”?  I never thought I’d do anything like this. What would people think of me if they knew? To say that I was nervous is an understatement. I could just get up, get my clothes on and leave. No harm done.  But I told myself, I was being true to who I was as a man. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought long and hard about going through with it.

I said, “Okay, let’s do it,” and we did. To my surprise, it was over before I knew it.
“Happy Mother’s Day,” I said to my wife when I got home and told her what I had done.  She was surprised, but delighted. We had talked about my doing it and she was wholeheartedly in favor of my decision, but I hadn’t told her that I had put my plan into action. “I’ll be needing your help over the next couple of weeks,” I said. “I need to have at least six orgasms before I go back and see Frank again.”

Frank, you see, is the urologist I went to for my vasectomy.  I did indeed feel strange and awkward at first, but the “procedure” was quick and remarkably pain free. I was a bit uncomfortable for a few days and was certainly careful. Very quickly, I was completely back to normal. Physically nothing changed at all for me. Emotionally I couldn’t be happier with my decision. No ill effects of any kind.

It was definitely the right thing to do. My wife no longer had to be concerned with any kind of birth control, freeing her from a task that she carried out for years. We no longer had to even think about birth control. I was and still am so happy to have been able to do this for both of us.

Mother’s Day has just passed and maybe you gave your wife flowers and candy are nice. But what about giving her a gift she can conceive of as a gift that keeps on giving?

Check out the National Institutes of Health for more information about vasectomies; click here if you’d like to schedule a vasectomy at a local Planned Parenthood.

(PS: Sunny also happens to be Fosgood’s husband; check back for her post on this tomorrow!)

No related posts.

Melinda and Bill Gates (of Microsoft) are the founders of a massive philanthropic organization called The Gates Foundation, whose core belief is that “all lives have equal value.” This multi-billion dollar nonprofit supports both domestic and international efforts to curb poverty and improve the health and well-being of people in need. Further, when the Gates Foundation commits to a project, world leaders pay attention, and media attention follows.

In an article published last week on The Daily Beast, Gates discussed her struggles balancing her Catholic faith with her desire to assist the global need for contraception. I strongly recommend checking out the article – it’s very well written and very interesting!

What this landmark decision means is more funding for international contraceptive programs, and investment in research dedicated to improving and (even inventing!) effective contraception. As a member of a Planned Parenthood affiliate that conducts clinical research trials, my mind is bending at what opportunities may come. (By the way, did you know Planned Parenthood does medical research? We’re the leading reproductive healthcare provider in the United States, and one day we plan to be a leader in reproductive health research, too.)

A final flower in this bouquet of great news is the website they launched called “No Controversy,” which asks people from all over the world to share stories of how contraception has changed their lives. From their website: “There is no controversy in matters of equality. More than 200 million people worldwide don’t have access to contraceptives. Everyone deserves the tools they need to improve their life and provide opportunities for their children. The power to decide if and when to have a child has far-reaching impact for families, communities, and nations. Raise your voice for equal access to contraceptives. We all have a story. What’s yours?”

The site includes a stream of photos and text from people all over the world, sharing their stories of how contraception has helped them or changed their life. I’ve been hoping for an online community that raises awareness and normalizes contraceptive use for a while now, and I think they struck gold with this one. Check it out, add your story … because all people deserve the right to family planning.

No related posts.

Don’t be discouraged gay marriage supporters, we’ll get there. It might be like the cartoon below, but no human rights battle has been without its starts and stops. We WILL get there and our grandchildren will read about it in history books and wonder, “was this seriously an issue?”

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Fun Friday: Don’t Say Gay
2. Fun Friday: A Story of Transition

“The Republican-led Arizona legislature has now taken measures to cut off Planned Parenthood’s access to taxpayer money funneled through the state for non-abortion services.” Use of taxpayer money for abortion was already illegal, but apparently that wasn’t good enough – now Planned Parenthood will receive no funding. It is unclear at this time exactly how this will affect its services, but it is certain that this inhibits its ability to provide health care services at a reasonable cost. For people – especially women – in Arizona without health insurance, this is a direct hit to their ability to receive lifesaving cancer screenings, STD prevention and treatment, and affordable birth control.

Utah now requires a 72 hour waiting period before an abortion. Previously, there was a 24-hour waiting period but, as of Tuesday, it has expanded to three full days. I’ll be honest: waiting period laws make me angrier than any other abortion law. There’s no pretense of protecting fetuses here; it’s all about “protecting” fragile women from their emotionally burdened lady brains. As if women need the government to remind them to think about their decision, to take it seriously! It’s insulting. The real kicker here is that there’s no loophole for non-viable fetuses, so women are forced to carry a pregnancy that could not and will not result in a live birth for three extra days which, frankly, is just plain cruel.

Wisconsin’s Planned Parenthood suspends non-surgical abortions. There is a new law in effect that “requires women visit a doctor at least three times before having a drug-induced abortion, forces physicians to determine whether a woman is being coerced into having an abortion, and prohibits women and doctors from using web cams during the procedure.” Three times? How unnecessary. In case you’re wondering about the web cam thing, they are referring to the possibility of a doctor counseling the woman about her medication via webcam – a good option when there is are a limited number of abortion providers in your state. Aside from the obvious problems here, like interfering with the relationship between the patient and her doctor and limiting a woman’s access to abortion, this poses an issue for women unique to this law – insisting that women have a surgical rather than a medical abortion. There are pros and cons to both methods (look for an upcoming post about abortion options!), but some women prefer the medical because it is more private and less physically invasive. Losing this option may make their abortion experience even more difficult for Wisconsin women.

If you live in Arizona, Utah or Wisconsin, consider contacting your representatives to let them know you’re unhappy with their shenanigans. If you want to do something about anti-choice activities in your area, contact your local representatives or sign up at Planned Parenthood Action Network to keep up to date. (Please note that our “action” site is provided by our C4, or political advocacy, arm.)

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. This Week In: Abortion
2. Abortion: New Language for a New Generation
3. Pro-Voice: Speaking Out About Abortion

This is the stack of books that towered on my nightstand during my first pregnancy. Each night I would read something like “this week your baby is growing eyelashes,” or “your baby is the size of a grapefruit,” or “watch out for swollen ankles!” Informative, but the real warnings started rolling in from my girlfriends, “don’t take nice pajamas to the hospital, you’ll bleed all over them,” and “the billing department at the hospital has no shame,” and “take your own pads, the hospital ones are the thickness of a mattress.” But even my girlfriends didn’t share some things (until I brought them up) so I’m going to share them with you with hopes that you’ll appreciate the information, even if it doesn’t happen to you.

Orgasm = Response from Baby – Soon after you can feel the baby moving, you may experience the craziest mind zinger you could imagine. One minute you’re on top of the most mind-blowing, satisfying, fulfilling orgasm ever, and the next you’re feeling the baby do a somersault. Nothing like your mind zipping from a place of selfish pleasure back to the reality that you’re about to be a mother! This can happen as a result of an orgasm achieved by masturbation or sex. Why, you ask? Well, the rhythmic contractions of an orgasm are similar to the rhythmic contractions of labor so the uterus could be tightening down on baby, causing it to move to adjust to the change. Also, in the refractory period (after orgasm), lots of a hormone called oxytocin is released, which can also cause the baby to respond. Oxytocin is the “love hormone” or bonding hormone that makes some of us want to cuddle after sex. It is also the hormone responsible for bonding between mother and just-born baby and, in part, why kangaroo care is often promoted in hospitals. There’s a scientific reason why orgasms can make babies respond, but it doesn’t make it any less surprising when it happens.

Orgasm = Major Leakage (if you’re nursing) – Oxytocin is released during orgasm, but so is prolactin. The release of prolactin after orgasm is meant to counteract the effects of dopamine, which is responsible for sexual arousal. Prolactin is also what stimulates milk production and “let down.” So seconds after an orgasm, you may feel that tell-tale tingly feeling of let down and, if you do, be prepared for major milk leakage.

My Knees Are in My Ears and You’re Talking About What? – My husband loved our midwives as much as I did. My midwife stayed in the room through every last minute of the 3.5 hours I was pushing. As the contractions fizzled out, I’d take a rest. At one point, I woke up to my husband joking about “vajazzaling” with the midwife. Seriously?

Holy Blood Clots, Batman! – Expect big and small blood clots, discharges of various kinds, and a war scene in your toilet for at least a week after delivery. If you pushed for any significant amount of time, expect your vagina and/or vulva to be swollen. You might be so swollen, in fact, that sitting and scooting across the bed or couch are simply not possible. Tip: roll over onto your hip and slide out of bed on your hip, not butt. Trust me.

What the Hell, Uterus?!? – Just when you thought your uterus was done being on center stage, she reappears for an encore performance. If you nurse, expect some pretty significant uterine cramping in the beginning. Despite the discomfort, you actually want this to happen. These contractions help the uterus to shrink back down, helping you get your abdomen back after its squishy phase immediately following delivery. And by squishy, I mean like a bowl of rising dough in both appearance and texture.

Baby is Here, Check Your Selfishness at the Door – I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go to the movies as often and that the time spent on my hair and makeup would be substantially less, but I did not expect to fall apart the first time I couldn’t do something fun because I’m now a mother. Let me set the stage: It’s two or three weeks after delivery, I’m still sore, and I’m nursing. I can’t go anywhere, and I really don’t want to go anywhere, but everyone else, husband and family in town, want to go to the Rays home opener. If you knew my husband, you’d know this day is more fun to him than his own birthday. I was trying to be a big girl so I told them to go on and have fun. As they donned their lucky jerseys, I started crying. A lot. My husband was great; he just let me cry and said that he’d stay home with me if it would help. It wouldn’t help; it would just make me feel guilty. This hot mess moment was my realization that my life had forever changed. I would make sacrifices, much more meaningful than missing a baseball game, and have to deal with the fact that I asked for this. It is VERY hard sometimes to be selfless in order to meet the needs of your children. And dare I say it? Ok, yes I will, since we are being honest here: sometimes your own selfishness will turn to resentment of your partner or children. That isn’t a pretty thing to say out loud or feel, but it is the truth. Don’t worry – you’re still a great mom.

Your Husband/Partner Isn’t Made of Steel – I never expected to come home from an evening meeting to find my baby AND husband with bloodshot, tearful eyes, set in faces that looked of pure exhaustion. Our little one was about three months old and had received vaccinations that day. They made her so irritable and feverish that she screamed one of those high-pitched, endless, blood-curdling screams for the entire 2-3 hours I was gone. He didn’t know what to do but he didn’t reach out to me for help because he wanted me to have “me time” without worrying about what was going on at home. I took one look at them, gave my husband a hug, and took the baby from him. He had to go sit alone in a room for a while to collect himself. If the above-mentioned moment was my “a-ha!” moment, this was his. We now have an agreement that we will not leave one another alone on the evening of a vaccination.

Speaking of Vaccinations – If you don’t like vaccinating your kids, so be it. Just do your research. Don’t persist on some ideology not supported by science. But on the other hand, trust your gut and stick up for yourself. And here’s a real tough lesson we learned: opt out of the Band-Aids. Getting them off your little one’s tender skin is almost as traumatizing as the shot itself.

Hunting for Day Care SUCKS – If you actually care how and with whom your child is spending his/her day, you already know that finding a day care that you can feel good about just plain sucks. Do not settle for less than a perfect fit. In fact, start searching months before your kid arrives. Not to make you feel any more guilty, but ages 0-5 are the most important years of a person’s life. Show me a psychopath and I’ll show you a person who didn’t get his/her developmental/psychosocial/physical/nutritional/attachment needs met when they were ages 0-5.

The Hardest Job in the World – Contrary to popular belief, being a stay-at-home mom is NOT the hardest job in the world: being a working mom is. Not only do you have all the same responsibilities of a SAHM, you also have to balance that with your career. One of my friends shared this tidbit with me and it still resonates with me today: A working mom always feels inadequate at one thing or the other. She meant that no matter how hard you try or how good your situation is, there will always be times when you feel inadequate at work or at home. Case in point: a really important deadline at work versus a sick child at home – which do you choose? Sure, you find a way to stay with the sick kid since your partner is out of town and your nearest family member is eight states away, but that feeling of inadequacy at work creeps in and makes you feel like sh*t. I was a Peace Corps volunteer and those two years were WAY easier than parenting. “Peace Corps: the toughest job you’ll ever love” … my ass!

#2 – I don’t mean pooping here. Although I do recommend you keep a stool softener on hand for just after birth. You don’t want a hard poop ruining your day. What I mean by #2 is that I’m expecting #2 in a couple months (another girl). Even though parenting is tough and stretches me beyond the person I ever knew I could be, or would have to be, I’ve willingly signed up for a second round. In my opinion, being good parent is the greatest contribution that I can make to this world. The world needs more good people and that’s something I know I can deliver on. I’ve always been very driven and never quite known why. It all makes sense now: all of the education, experiences, and life lessons – they weren’t for me, they were for her, and they were pieced together strategically so she could be raised by exactly the mother she needs. Somehow, that stately Master’s degree on my wall pales in comparison to when my daughter shows concern for another human being. This is how I measure my success now and I love it.

So with all that said … Happy Mother’s Day! (Now would someone please send me a survival guide for raising girls who are 2.5 years apart, particularly between the ages of 11-18?)

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Happy Mom = Happy Baby? Antidepressants and Pregnancy
2. Pregnancy: Factoring in the Rh Factor
3. Pregnancy Prevention: What to Do If You Miss One, Two, or Three Pills

One thing was for sure: I did not want to become pregnant. Another thing that was for sure was that I wanted to continue having sex with my committed long-term male partner, as it was an important part of our relationship – and frankly, I enjoyed it. It would, however, create an unsettling environment for my partner and me, as he tried to understand – logically – my illogical fear (I was taking the pill as directed, I was protected), while still supporting my superstitious demands (no sex this week, I don’t know why, it’s just a “feeling”). Yes, I will admit it, I was neurotically afraid of an unplanned pregnancy.

So when I began working for Planned Parenthood, I learned the ins and outs of birth control: what was most effective, what most people use, and what the failure rates actually look like. I realized that the majority of pill-pregnancies are due to user error (not taking the pills), not failure of the method itself. Though facts subdued my irrational fears, I realized that there was another method available that could replace my daily pill-taking and better cure my unplanned pregnancy fears!

Folks, I present to you: the Mirena IUD/IUC (Intrauterine device or intrauterine contraceptive). Mirena is a small “T” shaped contraceptive device that is inserted by a clinician into the uterus, where it remains for up to five years (it can be removed at any time before). It is made of plastic and includes the hormone progestin, which works to cut down on menstrual bleeding. What’s the best part? It’s 99.3% effective in preventing pregnancy for FIVE WHOLE YEARS! No more daily pill routine! No more paranoid trips to pregnancy test aisle! For me: no more pregnancy scares!   

 I am a Planned Parenthood employee, supporter, advocate, donor and yes: patient. I have first-hand knowledge of the cutting-edge quality care that our organization provides, so I asked a Nurse Practitioner that I work with if she would insert my Mirena. Excitedly she agreed, and I booked an appointment for a couple of weeks ahead, when I would be menstruating (FYI: we recommend inserting IUD/IUCs while on one’s menstrual flow).

The morning of, I was consumed with adrenaline-shaped butterflies, nervous that the procedure would hurt or that the dreaded “XYZ” of my imagination would go wrong.  Luckily, my dear friend and colleague E.G.Hannah was there to assist the clinician and calm my nerves. I took 800mg of ibuprofen before I arrived. I put a maxi pad in my underwear in case of any post-insertion bleeding. I also took a medication to prepare my cervix beforehand since it had never been dilated before.  Heart pumping, hands sweaty, I undressed from the waist down, dragged the crumply paper drape over my quivering thighs, and prepared for five years of security.

The insertion process itself was uncomfortable, but to be truthful, the worst part was my anxiety. I was intimidated by having anything inserted into my uterus, as I’d never encountered that sensation before, and I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be a cakewalk. However, I’d seen them inserted many times prior and the vast majority of women did totally fine, with minimal complaints. I remember looking down and seeing my legs wobbling, shaking so hard with anxiety, I felt really ridiculous. Lucky for me I was surrounded by supportive and understanding people who talked me through it and I was done within five minutes. Yes, it was uncomfortable. It felt like pressure and menstrual cramping for about three minutes. I’m pretty sure I uttered some profanity and then, within a matter of minutes, it was over. I had five minutes of discomfort for five years of freedom. In my book, it was a remarkable trade-off.

I went home and took some more ibuprofen throughout the day, as I had menstrual type cramping that lasted through the afternoon and into the night. The next morning I woke up feeling completely fine and no – I didn’t have any bleeding.

I waited about a week before I had sex. My partner was able to feel my strings a couple of times but I had them trimmed a month later and he hasn’t complained since. I haven’t had any menstrual bleeding since the day it was inserted three years ago. Better yet, I haven’t had any pregnancy scares!

This method, for me, has absolutely changed my life. Mirena has given me freedom and confidence. I now have the luxury of separating intercourse from pregnancy in my mind because I know I’m covered. Once a month I feel inside myself to confirm the soft tiny strings are still accessible (they curl up around the cervix and are needed for eventual removal by a clinician). Three years ago I “set it” and now I can “forget it.”

In two years my Mirena will need to be removed, and at that time I plan to have another one put in its place. For me, Mirena was an absolute dream come true: no periods, no pills and no unplanned pregnancies!

As a reminder, the Mirena is not for everyone and there are certain health conditions that are contraindicated for its use. Speak with your trusted health care professional to see if you’re a candidate for this method. Also, you can check out more information about this long-acting reversible contraceptive method below:

● IUD info you can trust from Planned Parenthood’s website

● Mirena’s official website

● Mirena info on Bedsider (includes user testimonials)

Readers, have you ever used an IUD/IUC? What’s your favorite birth control method?

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. Pregnancy: Factoring in the Rh Factor
2. Happy Mom = Happy Baby? Antidepressants and Pregnancy
3. Pregnancy Prevention: What to Do If You Miss One, Two, or Three Pills

• In Florida, HIV, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea and hepatitis B are all reportable. This means you are required by law to tell your current partner or partners so they can be tested, too. If you do not feel able to tell a partner, someone from the Health Department can do it for you. Another option is to send an anonymous online postcard.

• Be very cautious about who you tell. Even friends may react in ways you don’t expect. Some people may treat you differently, be judgmental or blame you for putting yourself at risk.

• People love to talk. You may feel someone you tell is trustworthy and will keep this information to themselves – but they may not.

• Do not assume anything about who gave what to whom. HPV and HSV can live on the skin with no visible symptoms and still be contagious. Tests for these viruses are not usually included in basic STI testing. Some STIs live in your body for years with no symptoms. Your partner could have had the infection before you were together.

• There is never a great time to tell a current partner, but they need to be checked, as well.  For some people, telling a partner in a public place may be safer. If you have any doubt about your own safety, make sure someone is nearby if you need help.

• Telling a potential partner typically goes two ways. Either they will recognize how difficult this is for you and admire you for your candor or you may never hear from them again. How they react to this information says a great deal about what kind of person they are.

• Most people with viral STIs say telling a potential partner early on in a relationship is best. Waiting too long and getting attached to one another may only make matters worse.

• The most important way you can help yourself is to become as educated as possible. All STIs can be prevented to some extent. Learn how to make sex safer and have accurate information to dispel myths.

Hearing the news that you have a sexually transmitted infection or telling a partner is never easy, but it is so important for you and your partner’s health to deal with the situation. Remember … you can rely on Planned Parenthood. For more information on sexually transmitted infections or to schedule an appointment for testing, visit our Planned Parenthood website.

You also might find these posts interesting:

1. A Sex-Positive View of BDSM