It’s More Than the Birds and the Bees

By: Alexis Martinez

Since we were preteens, we always heard the phrase “the birds and the bees”. We learn that one a day you will meet someone and feel special feelings for them that you express physically. Yeah, that awkward talk you have with your parents. Sometimes the adults in our lives tend to forget that it is more than just birds and bees, sex is complicated. Here are a few things that people forget

It can be emotional: Having sex for the first time can be embarrassing, confusing and often liberating. You could either feel incredibly confident after or like you want to crawl into a hole. One thing to remember is that you should never feel ashamed. It can be hard to process after, but never be scared to seek guidance from your family or friends. You’re always taught that one day you’ll fall in love and that it’ll be a magical moment, but there are times where everything isn’t so magical.  Sometimes you are sexually active with someone you don’t love, or with someone that doesn’t love you back. It’s all so complicated and that’s why you should make sure you talk to your partner before you make the next step.

Safety first: I know you’ve heard this a million times, but safety is a priority. You are all thinking “I’d never have unprotected sex”, but believe me, it happens. There are times where you are completely unprepared and in the moment, but you have to say no. Don’t let anyone say that it’s just a one-time thing, because one time can lead to a pregnancy or STD.

Consent: If you aren’t feeling comfortable with every step you’re taking, then don’t do it. Don’t be scared to say no. Communication is key. If your partner if making you feel guilty for not wanting to go all the way – forget them. Only do what makes you comfortable and put your feelings ahead. There is no rush to have sex, there is no rush to have a first kiss, take everything one step at a time and at your pace.

If you feel like you’re ready to be sexually active or just have any questions, please get in contact with Planned Parenthood. You can chat us here at