Posted on
May 10, 2013 by
Eleanor
Happy Friday, Feronians! I hope you have the best weekend ever.
On this Fun Friday, we’re sharing a great video that’s been making its way around the web recently – will this be the TED talk that turns all men into feminists? It’s interesting, that’s for sure:
Posted on
April 30, 2013 by
Firdaus
Last week I attended an incredible workshop with my colleagues, where we talked about the emotional side of abortion work. About ten of us, all working in different roles within our affiliate, shared with each other how we cope with the stigmatized nature of our work, and how we deal with protesters both in our communities and in our personal lives (friends, family, etc.). I learned so much about the strength, courage, and absolute commitment to helping women that my colleagues and I share. It was really emotional and absolutely inspiring to recognize the commitment we have to this work. I am so proud to be a part of in the struggle of women; in the herstory of women.
Having said that, it was ironic that a few days later I became involved in a confrontation about my work with a distant relative through, of all places, Facebook. While I honor and love this family member, and have incredibly fond memories of our time together in my childhood, we just don’t agree politically or socially now that I’m an adult. Specifically, when it comes to social issues and the issue of a woman’s right to decide. So, I posted something about an interview with anti-choice protesters, and was issued a moral citation via comment box.
A few days later he sent me an email about the better choice being adoption. I now felt like I needed to explain myself without apologizing or igniting personal defenses. I do not want to fight with family about the work I do. And I will not apologize. Having spent time discussing such awkward and uncomfortable interactions with family a few days before at the workshop, I felt like I was prepared to respond. Awkward? Yes. Impossible? No. In summary:
…I’ve been working one-on-one with women who choose abortion for the past 5 years. I’ve met with hundreds and hundreds, perhaps thousands of women in my office, and my beliefs about choice stem from listening to them and learning their stories. For many, adoption is an excellent choice, and I whole-heartedly support women who choose that route. I am most excited when I meet with a woman who has planned her pregnancy, and is ecstatic when the pregnancy test comes back positive. There is so much joy to share in life.
Though the organization I work for only sees about 10% of clients for abortion services, I travel to our different locations and work predominantly with those clients. I do family planning education and give emotional support to women who are choosing abortion. I feel I am an angel for so many of the women I see, who are ashamed, afraid, stigmatized, guilt-ridden and desperate. I accept them, I accept their choice, and I honor them as human beings trying to do the best they can for themselves, their families, and their futures.
Having said that, I speak with each and every single woman who is considering abortion about adoption. That is a requirement; we talk with women about adoption and how to continue their pregnancies for parenthood, along with abortion education. Over and over and over again, when I talk with women about adoption, many give the same response: there is no way they could spend 9 months becoming emotionally attached to their pregnancy and give it away. The guilt and resentment they would feel knowing they had a child in the world that they had “abandoned” is a worse choice for them than to prevent the pregnancy from continuing. These are their words, not mine. For others, adoption is an opportunity to give their child to a family who is ready and able to provide a quality life for their child. Every woman’s view is valid.
In many cases over the years, I have helped women choose to continue their pregnancies. I support their choice, regardless of the outcome. It is their body, their life, not mine…. Having said that, our perspectives on this issue are different, but I respect your opinion, as your beliefs are just as valid as mine.
This line of work is both incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding. Our greatest hope and mission is for all children to be wanted children, and for the need for abortion to no longer exist. However, we do not currently live in a world where this is possible, and abortion is a safe option that 1/3 of U.S. women make in their lifetime. I emphasize education and prevention. I will not apologize.
Posted on
April 19, 2013 by
Mary
We want you to go into the weekend knowing that we think you are beautiful. Do you think you are beautiful?
Posted on
April 18, 2013 by
Firdaus
While browsing the net recently I ran across a barrage of anti-prostitution advertisements produced by the American Social Hygiene Association, an organization that sought to reduce venereal diseases (AKA sexually transmitted infections), reduce prostitution, and educate people about sex. These advertisements were produced in the early part of the 20th century, and were targeted at men, specifically in the military. They seem to frame women as infected succubus’s, sure to tempt pure young men into bed so they can spread their venereal diseases and ruin lives. Certainly there is no reference to how the women contract it (um, from the males they sleep with); it’s almost like prostitutes are dirty temptresses born infectious. Though I support the reduction of sexually transmitted infections (hello, condoms), these advertisements are obnoxiously one-sided.
Posted on
April 9, 2013 by
Eleanor
PA Photos /Landov; via NPR.
I lived for several years in Great Britain and at one time or another, I had a conversation with several British-born friends about Margaret Thatcher. If you haven’t been keeping up with the news, the first female prime minister of the United Kingdom (and first elected female leader of a G-8 western power), Margaret Thatcher died yesterday.
Thatcher is the ultimate divisive feminist icon: she shattered the glass ceiling for women around the world, but she quite avidly did not believe in feminism herself. However, she first ran for a seat in the House of Commons in 1951, before she was married (and still Margaret Roberts) – a mindblowing undertaking in retrospect. Yet her political principles, by and large, were not in line with feminist ones. Many American conservatives herald her as a icon; many Britons and Europeans were glad to see notices of her death. Margaret Thatcher was a polarizing icon, to say the least.
So, Feronians, what do you think? Is Margaret Thatcher is a feminist icon? Should she be?
Posted on
March 14, 2013 by
Firdaus
If you’ve been to a Planned Parenthood health center, it’s likely that you’ve crossed paths with protesters. While the frequency and duration of the protests varies from health center to health center, many patients find them to be very disrespectful and irritating. Further, staff at many affiliates across the country deal with harassment, including hate-mail, harassing phone calls, and in some cases, protesters have picketed outside the personal homes of our doctors and administrators. When I see them, I tend to look through them. I do not instigate interaction, I just take it in stride. We’re Planned Parenthood, the leading provider of reproductive health care in the country: not everyone agrees with unrestricted access to affordable services. I get it, and while I don’t agree with the protesters’ sentiments, it does not dissuade me from donning my nametag and providing quality care every week.
However, there are some folks out there who are sick and tired of the harassment, and they’ve come up with a very clever campaign to counter the intentions of those picketing demagogues.
A friend of mine works for Planned Parenthood of Rocky Mountains, and they’ve initiated a “Pledge-a-Picketer” event, in which people can donate to the organization by “sponsoring” a picketer. Each time a donation is made, a yellow ribbon is tied outside to show the protesters just how much money they’re raising by being there. The hope, of course, would be to raise awareness about the cruelty and harassment our patients and staff encounter every day as they attempt to conduct things like pap smears, picking up birth control, and conducting safe and legal abortions.
Genious, I say! Genious! Further, this sponsorship campaign has made its way to Reddit, and is gaining speed and momentum. You too can donate to this campaign, and show the protesters that we’re here, and we’re not going anywhere (click on donate button on right sidebar).
Have you dealt with protesters outside one of our Health Centers? Would you donate to this cause?
Posted on
February 28, 2013 by
Firdaus
How exciting! Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl Wu Dunn, creators of the renowned book Half the Sky have joined forces with several major chartable organizations, including the Ford Foundation, and developed a new Facebook App game that lets users help women and girls in need around the world by playing games that actually contribute to charities.
By unlocking different parts of the game, users are able to activate real life charity contributions that mirror the game. In the 21st century, we are becoming increasingly charitable and aware of our global connectedness. I am excited about this game, and its opportunity to educate people about the various difficulties women and girls experience in different parts of the world. What a clever way to serve others while we serve ourselves – I mean, it’s playing a video game for charity! As our world and our technologies change, a whole new spectrum of opportunities to give and connect with our sisters and brothers around the globe will become possible.
What do you think about this new style of giving?
Posted on
February 19, 2013 by
Firdaus
Image copyright bedsider.org
For years I have been distributing Female Condoms (also known as FC) throughout our health centers, and while I understand they are about 95% effective at preventing pregnancy if used properly every time, I’d never used one myself. I’ve pulled them out of their packaging, I’ve touched them, squeezed them, and demonstrated how they work using a model. The Feronia Project has advocated for its ability to empower females to take charge by using the FC, but in my vagina…huh?
So, in the spirit of Valentine ’s Day romance, my partner and I decided to pop in a FC and take it for a spin. I’d used the Nuva Ring in the past, so I was prepared for the way it might feel to have a flexible plastic ring inside my vagina during sex, but was unprepared for how it felt to have that ring connected to a plastic baggie, connected to a second ring that remained around the vulva. In a word: ouch.
For me, the female condom was extremely uncomfortable and problematic. Though an excessive amount of lube was used, it didn’t change the fact that I felt like it would tear at any moment, and I had to hold it in place externally so that it didn’t slip inside of me. The external ring that holds the FC open around the vaginal opening was extremely uncomfortable to me, pinching and rubbing hard against my very sensitive labia. Agh!
For him, it was very uncomfortable as well. I asked him to rate it like a homework assignment, and he gave it a full “C.” He was wary of it coming out, and the plastic baggie sound/feel was hardly arousing. So, for us, the male condom wins.
We lasted a full minute before we had to take it out and replace it with a male condom. With proper communication, we were able to navigate the situation with ease and a little humor, without dampening the night’s appeal.
I support the idea of the female condom whole-heartedly! It’s important that females are able to have a barrier contraceptive method to protect them from sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy, just as males do. However, something a little softer, smoother, and less baggie-like might feel more appealing (for us anyway).
Don’t just take my word for it! Everybody is different. Every partnership is different. It’s most important that you find the best method for YOU! Readers, have YOU used a female condom?
Posted on
February 14, 2013 by
Firdaus
(Editor’s Note – Happy Valentine’s Day! We’ll be back later this afternoon with gifts you could get your sweetheart any time of the year.)
Though blatant/explicit racism has been deemed “politically incorrect” in our society and is thus generally frowned upon, racism is deeply ingrained in our culture, and practiced (whether consciously or unconsciously) by all of us. Much of current racism/sexism/ethnocentricism now takes place via “microaggressions,” the subtle interactions that normalize the implicit hierarchal order of our society.
Microaggressive statements reiterate the dominant idea that the heterosexual, white, middle-class, capitalistic model is the universal “right way” to live and be, of which all variation is inferior (less than). Research suggests that “microaggressions” are the most harmful because they are often defended and cast off as “no big deal,” “it was a joke,” or in many instances, the person committing the microaggressive act is oblivious to its oppressive/offensive content.
Examples include: “Yeah, he’s black on the outside, but he’s white inside” (therefore suggesting being black on the inside is unacceptable); “there is only one race, the human race” (therefore failing to recognize and/or respect racial/cultural differences); “He only got into college because of affirmative action” (therefore he is not a credible student); “I’m not racist, I have black friends” (suggesting that simply befriending people of a different race cleanses you of racism); and dismissing people of color’s experiences within this racist culture (i.e. “why does he always have to bring up that he’s black, I’m white, you never hear me talking about it”).
February is Black History Month, and it is important that we look within us for our own racist/sexist/classist/ethocentrist/xenophobic tendencies. Here is an excellent video that illustrates microaggressions in action, and the harmful effects they have on those who experience them:
Most people do not consciously choose to be racist/sexist/classist/xenophobic, but have unfortunately grown up in a culture that systematically teaches it. Racism and discrimination will continue as long we keep kicking it down the road with our “politically correct” boot. Think about it. Better yet, talk about it.
Posted on
January 29, 2013 by
Eleanor
Happy Tuesday, Feronians! Hopefully, it’ll be even better than your Monday.
Today, we’re sharing some awesome stories we’ve found on the internets:
And lastly, but never least: is a Disney-and-princess-free daughter a more empowered one? It’s a very good question.
Have you seen anything interesting in the news lately that you’d like to share?