Tag Archives: media

“Don’t Be That Guy”: Ad Campaign Gets Consent Right


Posted on December 18, 2012 by

Most anti-rape discussion frames the rape prevention as the victim’s responsibility. We’ve all heard that we’re not supposed to walk alone at night, not drink too much, don’t wear this or that, etc. It’s long been a feminist complaint that rape prevention needs to be taught to the potential perpetrators. Teaching the necessity of consent, and for that matter, what consent is, is an important step in stopping sexual assault. One recent campaign does a great job representing this: Don’t Be That Guy. Canadian organization Battered Women’s Support Services is using these ads to spread their “The Violence Stops Here” message. It makes it clear that “sex without consent = sexual assault”, and even has ads that make it clear men can be rape victims, too.

The campaign conveys the belief that consent is an active thing that must be continually given, not merely the absence of a no. “Enthusiastic consent” is a term many feminists use to describe what proper consent looks like. As in, if you are with a person who says things like “I’m not sure,” is hesitant, disengaged, or seems too inebriated to make their wishes clear, you have not adequately obtained consent and should stop. Once enthusiastic consent becomes the standard for sexual activity, it is no longer possible to dismiss rape of women who were drunk, who didn’t fight back hard enough (by someone’s standards), or any other thing society often uses to dismiss sexual assault. Most importantly, enthusiastic consent places the responsibility on us all to obtain consent, not on our partners to say no enough times or in the right way.

Because sexual assault has been framed for so long in our society as something that the victim is responsible for, it’s going to take more than one campaign to change the standard of consent. But this campaign is an excellent start.

Feronia Gift Guide 2012


Posted on December 10, 2012 by

It’s that time again! The Feronia Gift Guide is back to help you with stressful holiday shopping. You can still peek at last year’s gift guide, but I’ve wrangled up a few more things you and your friends will love.

Ms. magazine put out a really good list of excellent non-fiction feminist books, from Bell Hooks to Ariel Chevy, that span issues of gender, race, class, and their intersectionality. You can’t go wrong with any of them really but especially check out Audre Lord, Susan Faludi, and bell hooks.

For some more, um, recreational reading you can check out Goodvibe’s list of sexy books. Show your 50 Shades of Grey-loving friends another take on erotica.

Support some rad lady artists and make your artsy friends happy. Gingko Press just put out a book of Tiffany Bozic prints.

Charmaine Olivia is another amazing artist. Her prints sell out fast but these sticker sets are beautiful and affordable.

The mommy-minded might appreciate these Nikki McClure Mama Baby prints. They’re both gorgeous and environmentally friendly; the paper is recycled and was created using wind and alternative power.

One condoms make excellent stocking stuffers. The designs on the packaging are so cool you (almost) won’t even want to use them (but you still should).

If you’re feeling feisty check out Babeland for a great selection of sex toys and erotica. Don’t forget to pick up something for yourself.

If you want to give a meaningful gift that helps others, hook up yourself or a friend with Women for Women, an organization that allows you to help finance business training and support for women survivors of war and conflict.

Have you guys stumbled upon something awesome this year you think we should know about? Post it in the comment section.

Fun Friday: Smart Girls at the Party


Posted on August 17, 2012 by

Happy Friday, kittens! I don’t know about you, but I’m thrilled that it’s the weekend.

Have you heard about Amy Poehler’s awesome new web show, Smart Girls at the Party? Amy, along with two friends, are reaching out to teen girls to show them that life is cool and they are too.

Her Ask Amy videos are fabulous. Got a problem with stress? Amy tackles it here:

Media, Surgery, and Body Image: Loving Your Vulva Isn’t Easy Nowadays


Posted on May 21, 2012 by

Disclaimer: Most of the links in this article link to images or articles that are not safe for work, so please use discretion!

This ad has been everywhere in the blogosphere lately. We open with an attractive, light-skinned Indian couple sitting on a couch, the man sipping his coffee and ignoring his wife, who looks despondent and lonely. Then, she jumps in the shower, uses her special wash for “fairness and freshness,” and when she returns it is all smiles and spinning in his arms in the living room. The gist of it is: your vagina must be fresh enough (and what does that even mean, really?) and also light enough in color in order to get approval and love. Colorism, particularly rampant in Indian society, really deserves its own post and I’m not well-equipped to discuss it in this one. Pam Spaulding wrote an article about the colorism in the ad and the damage skin whitening products can do at Pam’s House Blend. You can also read this excellent post on skin bleaching and colorism in India at Bitch Magazine. As for me, I’m fascinated by this commercial not only because of the colorism, but because its another entry in the long social trend of teaching women that their vaginas are incorrect in some way, and must be corrected in order to win the love of a man (and, therefore, by happy). The two big social forces at work here – shame over your anatomy and the need for male approval – are long-standing toxic messages that have been around for a while. Even the fact that douche is still on the market is an ever-present indicator of our culture’s issues with our vaginas – though I guess I’m somewhat grateful the advertising has become more about vague references to freshness and summer and less about getting your easily-disgusted-by-vaginas husband to love you again. Back in the ‘50s, Lysol was advertised as douche, with print advertisements almost identical to the ad above:

(Of course back in the day the same tactic was employed to sell everything, even coffee – If you’re into it, you can find more advice for women from that era in Lynn Peri’s excellent book Pink Think: Becoming a Woman in Many Uneasy Lessons.) To get back on track, the cultural pressure to have a perfect body has had a strong effect on how we feel about our vaginas and our vulva’s appearance, maybe because it’s an area of our bodies we don’t easily have a way to compare to others and see what’s normal. When we do see images of vulvas in our society, they usually have been Photoshopped to meet a particular image.

In fact, Australia has been in the news recently because its new Classification Guidelines disallow explicit depictions of the vulva, preferring them to be, to use a common pornographic magazine term, “healed to a single crease.” What they mean is, a vulva must not have visible labia, only a small crease may be visible. The phrase itself makes me crazy: healed!  As if an average vulva with labia is damaged or sick! I was willing to make the argument that Australia’s rule is simply prudish, that maybe they just find non-edited vulvas too graphic, until I learned that the same board also banned the appearance of 18+ but young-looking women with small breasts in adult publications, apparently due to concerns about these women encouraging pedophilia. Given that the growth of labia minora is a part of puberty, if they are so concerned with the maturity of their performers why would they insist on editing vulvas down to a more pre-pubescent, labia-free state? I’m not buying it. This is just another area where a Photo-shopped body has become the aesthetic norm, and women of Australia will have more opportunity to find their bodies as they are to be wrong, or unappealing.

So, say you look at porn or advertisements, and then look at your body and think, “Something’s wrong with me!” Don’t worry, there’s surgery for that. Labiaplasty is the practice of reducing the size of the labia minora so that they are smaller than the labia majora (diagram here for those uncertain exactly what I’m referring to). To be fair, some people may have labia minora long enough to cause discomfort, particularly while participating in sports or wearing tight fitting clothes for example, and for them this surgery may improve their quality of life. But there are also a lot of people who seek the surgery do so because they think something is wrong with the appearance of their vulvas as they are. A 2009 Guardian article talks to women and cosmetic surgeons and found that many “patients are not willing to accept that the physical appearance of their vulva is perfectly ordinary and healthy,” referring to their appearance as “hypertrophy” if the labia minora extend past the majora, although there is nothing pathologically wrong with them.

I personally am a supporter of body modification, and ultimately I support a person’s right to alter his/her body to reflect how they feel it should look. However, I also firmly believe that we don’t make choices in a vacuum and I think it’s worth examining what social forces are at work encouraging us to make some decisions over others, and whether we are harming ourselves by changing our bodies to fit a narrow cultural ideal. It’s clear that just like our stomachs, our skin and our noses, our vulvas are another area we are supposed to measure and compare against other (photo-edited) bodies. Ultimately, the problem here isn’t vaginal lightening creams or shortening our labia, it’s the pervasive cultural message that your vagina must meet some beauty standard (or men won’t love you).

So how do we fight back? The path to loving our bodies in all their variants is long and difficult for some of us. But if you’re curious to see if you’re normal, or want to see the wide variety of colors, sizes and shapes that vulva and labias come in, it may help to check out a body project like Vulva101. In their words: “Designed to help society overcome its fear and shame regarding vulva, Vulva 101 features close-up photos of one hundred and one women’s vulvas, ranging from 18 to 65 years old. Each page focuses on one woman’s vulva from three different angles. It also highlights the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the women involved, and the natural, unique beauty of the female form.” Projects like these are great for combating media images of the vulva as having only one appropriate form.

So, Feronia readers, what do you think? Would you get labiaplasty? Have you ever been worried a sexual partner would think your vulva looked wrong, or felt like your vulva looked wrong after comparing it to someone else’s? Let’s talk vulvas.

Plan B at the Pharmacy: Legality Doesn’t Equal Access


Posted on April 3, 2012 by

Plan BSome years ago, way back before Plan B became available without a prescription, we called in a patient’s prescription to a pharmacy.  Because Plan B is something you must take within a fairly small time period for it to be effective, we liked to avoid making people come back in for an office visit.

So once they came in for their visit, we’d write the prescription for a full year – as in Plan B with multiple refills.  This way if a condom broke on you again weeks or months later, you could just go grab it with no fuss, no muss, and no waiting in a doctor’s office.

Shortly after leaving the Plan B prescription on the pharmacy’s machine, we got a phone call from an indignant pharmacist.  She couldn’t believe we’d wrote it with refills. “It’s supposed to be for an emergency only!” she said.  Our response: “It’s for more than one emergency.”  We refused to change the prescription.

Years later, some pharmacists are still trying to tamper with your access to emergency contraception. We’ve all seen the stories in the news about the so-called “conscience clauses,” laws giving pharmacists the rights to refuse to fill an Rx if it’s against their beliefs, but it appears that some pharmacists may have turned to outright lying.

MSNBC is reporting the results of a study showing that pharmacists give different answers about the availability of Plan B, depending on if they think they are talking to a doctor or a 17-year-old.  Researchers called pharmacies across five states, first identifying as a 17-year-old girl asking if they could buy Plan B, and then posing as a doctor who asked if their 17-year-old patient could buy it. They found that “[t]here was a huge disparity between the answers given to the teens and those offered to the physicians, with 19 percent of the 17-year-olds being told that they couldn’t get it under any circumstances, compared with only 3 percent of the physicians.”

I keep waiting for the days when people will finally get it:  Plan B is a perfectly safe and legal medication that prevents a pregnancy. Teen pregnancy is bad. Therefore, teens should have access to Plan B.  But in a sociopolitical climate where birth control for adult women is actually considered controversial, I think I’ll be waiting a long time.

I have a lot of respect for pharmacists; creating and maintaining what is essentially a medication encyclopedia inside your brain is not an easy task.  But letting your personal beliefs interfere with a woman (17 or not) getting her legal medication is clearly ridiculous.  What this study shows is that it’s not enough to fight legal battles; Plan B being legal won’t help prevent pregnancy if no one will sell it to you. Just like with abortion rights and birth control, we have to fight a battle for legality and then fight again for access.

But until society gets its act together and quits trying to interfere with your personal life, don’t take any crap: know the law, understand that Plan B is available without prescription to anyone 17 and over, and if your local pharmacist gives you any trouble, come see us.  We will help you.

Fun Friday: Flawed


Posted on March 16, 2012 by

Happy Friday, Feronians! We hope you have a fantastic weekend. Today, we’re sharing an amazing video that from PBS’ Point of View as part of their Girl Power series; it’s all about our own flaws and how we have to accept them. It’s all in animated watercolor – amazing and beautiful and totally worth watching.

(Thanks to The Dirty Normal for the link!)

Hooking Up: Why Does Society Fear It So Much?


Posted on February 20, 2012 by

Hooking UpWe as a nation are prone to moral panics where one social group—perhaps a more religious, conservative one—decries a social trend that threatens a traditional aspect of our society. If something is considered a threat to a conventional social order, especially a relationship model where monogamy and celibacy prior to marriage is the norm, we are often treated to multiple news stories and editorials and petitions expressing outrage. Most of the more recent issues that inspire such fear and ire are related to women’s sexuality—birth control access, abortion access, whether it’s appropriate for Komen to fund breast exams at Planned Parenthood, and “hook up culture.”

The issue of hook up culture is not a new one, but it’s still an ongoing source of contention and fear, especially among older adults who look at new types of relationships emerging on college campuses and feel afraid for what these changes mean.

What’s referred to as hook up culture is a cultural standard among young adults where sexual activity usually occurs outside the context of a relationship, often without the promise of a relationship occurring afterwards, and the absence of traditional dates. This is opposed to an older model in which a boy called a girl days in advance, a date was planned, he picked her up and met her parents, brought her home by 10, etc. While premarital sex or sexual activity outside of a relationship are new things, it does seem true that they are becoming more accepted.

Most of the fear surrounding so called hook up culture is based upon an evolutionary model of male and female sex differences that insist women are designed to become attached to a partner after sex and thus cannot really enjoy casual sex. The other side of the argument states that this model is outdated and both men and women are capable of enjoying casual sex or desiring monogamy, depending on the individual and the situation.

Sociologist Paula England has studied hook up culture extensively, and gave a lecture on the subject discussing her findings. (It’s a quick and really interesting 6-minute video.) In her research, she has discovered that in many areas, traditional pre-arranged one-on-one dating practically doesn’t exist, but that most sexual partners are found while socializing in groups of friends.  Hooking up does not necessarily mean sexual intercourse, but may mean anything from making out to intercourse. Most hookups do not lead to relationships, but most relationships she studied did start out with hooking up.  It took a “define the relationship talk” to transition between a repeated hook-up situation into a relationship situation.

Now, what interests me is not just the anatomy of hook up culture, but how does it actually affect women?  According to England, the double standard of the slut vs. stud dichotomy has not gone anywhere, sadly; women were more likely to experience slurs and judgment due to their sexual behavior.  Also, more men have orgasms than women in these hookups.  However, in repeat hookups or ones that turned into relationships, the gap in orgasm rate between men and women diminished over time.  More men than women initiated sexual contact but that does not mean the women did not want it; it may be a reflection of traditional sex roles where men are supposed to be the aggressor. England concludes that it is unclear whether a hook up culture is better or worse for women than the more traditional courtship rituals.

What seems clear to me is that our society still has much to work on when it comes to sexual equality. Even though the types of relationships, and the way they transition into relationships has changed for young adults, not enough has changed. It is not important whether young adults find sexual relationships through dating or through hooking up; I’m more concerned with a shift from a society that upholds sexist priorities to one that insists on mutual consent, sexual pleasure, and emotional honesty.

Jean Kilbourne, I Love You


Posted on January 17, 2012 by

Last week I posted about my own experiences with body image, which I hope at least one reader could relate to. The reflection needed to write the post rekindled my insane love for everything beauty-myth busting, including the analysis of sexualized media content. In my undergrad days I worked for two years on a thesis that analyzed the presence of sexualization in Seventeen magazine. Specifically, I analyzed advertisements in issues spanning from 1986-2006 and discovered trends in the types of sexualization used as fashion, politics, and technology changed over the years.

I had been an avid pop media consumer up until that point where I realized that I was being sold unattainable ideals that made consumers depressed and corporations filthy-rich. During my eye-opening (life-freeing!) introduction into the media’s manipulation of women through images, I was lucky enough to read content analyses by Jean Kilbourne, a remarkable feminist and brilliant sociologist.

Kilbourne began analyzing the roles of women in advertising in the 1960’s, and has made a career countering public health issues such as violence toward women, substance abuse and eating disorders by making people “media literate” (able to analyze, criticize, and examine media).

Her work cast a spell on me, or rather, broke me from my spell.

In summation, I give you: Jean Kilbourne!

Distorted Body Images: A Personal Account


Posted on January 9, 2012 by

I’ve been an overweight human since I was placed on my very first scale. It’s been part of my identity, and to those who also have been overweight, likely part of yours too. I can recall middle school and high school being brutal emotionally and how I felt like I was leper amongst the flock. I was one of the girls who never was “asked out” publicly, and when I did begin having sex in my late teens, it was always hush-hush: the guys didn’t want their friends to know they were attracted to a “fat girl.” While I was always rewarded for my academic merits and “dazzling personality,” they felt completely empty under the shadow of my weight insecurities. It wasn’t so much my body that I hated intrinsically, but the body I was told I should hate by my family, peers, the media, and those boys I longingly cried for when I was all alone. I really felt debilitated by my “condition,” as it was all I’d ever known. I covered up, I rejected, I was socialized to hate and be ashamed of my reflection in the mirror.

In college, I took a sociology class and my mouth often went agape as I realized the behind-the-scenes fat-hate brainwashing we are all being pumped full of. I realized that my feelings about my body were a direct reflection of the culture I was living in and that they were only a cultural norm. I felt at peace on an intellectual level; I had realized that my body was not intrinsically bad, but rather stigmatized by an industry that made money by selling beauty paraphernalia to me. I read The Beauty Myth and held my head higher. Unfortunately, my epiphany did not change the social reality that I was occasionally stereotyped on sight, mocked, humiliated and generally shunned for my appearance. I want to tell you that I’m embellishing, but I’m not.

At 24, I was 5’4 and 210lbs. I was beginning to feel pain in my knees and back at the end of the day. I was looking at my beautiful life and my beautiful husband and realized that I needed to change my life, take control, and lose the weight. So I wrote in a food diary, joined a gym, and within 11 months I’d lost 60 lbs the “healthy way.” Fantastically, I have more energy, I don’t hurt when I walk all day, my blood pressure has gone from high to “athlete,” I sleep better and I’m more flexible. I feel in better control of my life, and I feel better about the personal goals I’ve met. Everything healed, right?

Unfortunately, when I lost the weight I did not lose my overweight identity. What I had been dealing with all along was a sort of body dysmorphia, where I obsessed over ideas about my body that weren’t true to the point that it impaired my life. I suffered severe anxiety and depression cyclically stemming from my phobias and traumas associated with my “fat” body.  I didn’t really look at my vagina until I was 25; I was convinced that I was a disgrace. So when suddenly, like a decision everyone else had made without me, I got praised for my body, I felt completely bewildered. Yes, I was buying clothes in smaller sizes, and people were treating me with a new morbid respect, but I felt like the exact same person inside. The rapture I assumed would happen did not; to the contrary, I found myself lost in the mirror, trying to decipher these new adjectives for the same reflection.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. In fact, I think one of the most uniting thing women in my culture have is their conflicting relationships with their bodies. I’ve been taking mental notes and every single time I walk a patient to the scale at the beginning of her appointment, she emits some sort of audible reaction: either she justifies or rejects or, once in a while, cheers. Through their reactions, I came to reflect upon my own. I realized that the number on the scale did not correlate with reactions; these women all struggled with the unrealistic expectations of the beauty myth, no matter their appearance. It helped me better understand my own beauty myth, and better understand how to unravel it.
Here at Planned Parenthood, we care about your health, and we care about your heart! The debilitating effects of eating disorders and/or body dysmorphia can affect both your physical and emotional health, and is more common than you might think (from ANAD):

  • Up to 3.7% of women suffer from anorexia nervosa (deliberately starving to lose weight) in their lifetime
  • 4.2% of women have bulimia nervosa (deliberately vomiting to lose weight) in their lifetime
  • 95% of those with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25
  • 25% of college-aged women engage in binging and purging (over-eating and vomiting) as a weight-management technique
  • 47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures
  • 69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape
  • 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner
  • 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat
  • The body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only 5% of American females.

Eating disorders can not only lead to major physical health problems including death, but emotional problems such as low self-esteem, social isolation, anxiety, and depression or even suicide.

I have been working on my own ideas about myself over the last 18 months, and am piecing together something completely new. I’m only recently seeing myself for how I look now, but strangely, only in photographs.  I guess I’ll be duking it out with the mirror for a few more rounds.

To learn more about eating and/or body image disorders, check out:

Target Women with Sarah Haskins


Posted on November 22, 2011 by

If you haven’t yet seen Target Women with Sarah Haskins, you’re in for a treat. Sarah and her team at Current TV explore the ridiculous, hilarious and often insulting content of pop culture/television advertisements in a collage of clips and clever critiques.

I stopped watching television about five years ago, and now it’s hard to even be around one while it’s on. To me, it’s not the television shows that get me nauseated, it’s the endless barrage of sexist/classist/racist commercials that are cleverly crafted to seep into your brain.

While I enjoy all of Sarah’s episodes, check out this knee-slapper on birth control:

Will this change the way you see advertisements too?