Boy Scouts Get the Boot

On October 11, 2011 the Pinellas County School Board voted to refuse nearly $55,000 in funding for “Learning for Life,” a character building program affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America (BSoA).  In 2010, The Advocate reported the following:

…Learning for Life’s national director, John Anthony, told The Advocate in a statement that “Learning for Life programs are not Boy Scout programs, and Boy Scout membership requirements have no relevance to Learning for Life programs.” He also asserted that Learning for Life has always enforced a policy of nondiscrimination.

That means that the program was rejected based solely on their association with the Boy Scouts.  Students will still receive character building lessons from a county sponsored program called “Commitment to Character.”  The decision, which was not unanimous, was based on the anti-gay policy held by the Boy Scouts.  This statement by the Boy Scouts sums up their position:

“Boy Scouts of America believes that homosexual conduct is inconsistent with the obligations in the Scout Oath and Scout Law to be morally straight and clean in thought, word, and deed. The conduct of youth members must be in compliance with the Scout Oath and Law, and membership in Boy Scouts of America is contingent upon the willingness to accept Scouting’s values and beliefs. Most boys join Scouting when they are 10 or 11 years old. As they continue in the program, all Scouts are expected to take leadership positions. In the unlikely event that an older boy were to hold himself out as homosexual, he would not be able to continue in a youth leadership position.”

In 2000, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the BSoA’s First Amendment right to reject openly gay leaders and members because they are private organization, and because they are private, they can set their own standards for membership.  The organization isn’t too fond of atheists either.

Around the time of the Supreme Court decision in 2000, Scouts, even Eagle Scouts, began sending back their hard-earned badges to BSoA headquarters in Texas along with messages of discontent that the organization wouldn’t change its policy to be more inclusive.  Some of the letters came from men, now fathers of sons, who won’t let their sons join the organization until they stop discriminating against who can be a member/leader.  Several of the letters I read from former Scouts reflected how torn they were to give back all of their badges, but in the end, they couldn’t support the hypocrisy.

Pinellas County (or Anywhere, USA) isn’t the place for anti-gay anything.  In Pinellas County, 16 out of 17 of the high schools have a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) on their campus.  This year’s St. Pete Pride drew in over 80,000 people.  Gay people vote, gay people own businesses, gay people teach, gay people pay taxes, gay people save your life in the emergency room…I could go on and on, but you get the point, right?

After considering this case at many angles, I have a few different perspectives:

1)  The school board did the right thing and sent the right message to the Boy Scouts, especially since the students didn’t suffer – they are still getting character education.  In essence, they said, we are giving all of our students, regardless of their sexual orientation, the same message of support – we value all students equally.  They called out the hypocrisy and I’m proud of that. 
2)  My husband was a Scout and his father is still a heavily-involved Scout leader.  I also have several friends who were Scouts and they recall their experiences with fond memories.  They are proud of their accomplishments and credit the Scouts with helping them become the stand up men they are today.  None of my people can ever remember being taught to discriminate against anyone.  In fact, they are some of the most accepting, well-rounded people I know.  There’s no doubt that the Scouts do good work, despite their policies.  And like it or not, they have the right to say who can and can not be a Scout.
3)  If anyone wants to blame the school district for not offering enough classes on values like respect, honesty, responsibility, and fairness… well, you are barking up the wrong tree, my teacher friends would say.  Go bark up the parents’ tree, they’d tell you.  Teachers work on their student’s character every single day.  They seize ”teachable moments” as they arise and deliver messages of character at every opportunity.  If teachers got to grade the parents on their success at imparting those values to their kids, they’d be graded F, for epic FAIL.  Now before you parents get into a tizzy, if you are reading this, you probably aren’t one of those parents, and you’re probably doing a great job.  Perhaps we should offer character building classes to those parents who aren’t making the grade?
4)  I have to wonder if this Boy Scout policy is perpetuated by the myth that gay men are more likely to molest children.  If you have time, read this by Gregory M. Herek, Ph.D., a professor at UC Davis.  Or, maybe the policy is rooted in the organization’s Christian values.  And if that’s the case, maybe we should remind the BSoA that Jesus loved ALL his peeps.

Do you think the Pinellas County School Board did the right thing?  What are your experiences with the Boy Scouts?  Have you ever had to explain to your son why his leader can no longer be a part of Scouts?

Abortion: One in Three

When someone asks me what women who have abortions are like, I ask them what one in three women are like. There is so much stigma attached to abortion – from the procedure itself to those who perform it to those who elect to undergo it – that it can feel safer to be silent than to advocate the truth.

The truth is: one in three females in the United States will have an abortion by age 45. Females of all ages, races, ethnicities, classes, genders, sexualities, of different religions, traditions, norms, values, ethics, and moral compasses face unintended pregnancies every single day.

Now, I’ve had much first-hand experience emotionally consoling females who are seeking abortion services, as Planned Parenthood requires patients to undergo an education and informed consent process before the procedure. During this time, the first question I ask the patient if she is “firm and clear” in her decision, and if she is being “coerced in any way.” This often prompts an emotional whirlwind as the patient tries to justify her choice, and explain away the stigma. She is often convinced that she is alone in her decision and that if anyone else in her life knew, she would be a target for scrutiny. Her nerves are often pacified as I explain how likely it is that females all around her have also had abortions – they just don’t talk about them.

I can’t help but find myself so frustrated by the shame-induced gag order that choice-opponents have papier-mâchéd all over the truth about abortion and those who undergo it. It’s time to rip down the propaganda for the sake of autonomy. It’s time to trample stigma. It’s time to take back the real experiences of abortion:

I was at a family planning conference recently, and a woman stood up and said we need a campaign like It Gets Better for abortion to raise awareness and decrease stigma. We need speak-out videos where people who have had abortions are willing to illuminate the other side: how their abortion did not ruin their life.

So, one in three of you, will you stand against stigma and stereotyping?