Tag Archives: planned parenthood

How to Talk About Abortion: Not in Her Shoes


Posted on May 15, 2013 by

Today’s post is written by one of our fabulous interns.

As a long-time ally and volunteer for Planned Parenthood I have often been engaged in discussions with family members or friends who do not necessarily agree with my beliefs about abortion, or who are interested to hear my thoughts on this issue. And I have often been tempted to jump into discussions on social media sites when friends post their personal convictions about abortion or links to articles discussing the topic. These conversations can be very tricky to navigate because I want to be honest and candid about my views without inflaming an argument.

Luckily, I was recently able to participate in a workshop on just this subject. The tips I learned have really helped me frame my approach to talking about abortion.

“I am not in her shoes.” As a Planned Parenthood supporter, this is the overarching message I should send out.

not_in_her_shoes1Instead of listing examples of hypothetical situations when a woman might need or want an abortion (ex. the fetus has a severe abnormality; or the pregnancy is a result of rape) emphasize that it would not be right for decisions to be imposed upon a woman; especially if you have not walked in her shoes. By offering justifications to choose abortion, I not only invalidate the rights of women who chose abortion for a different reason, but I also risk hitting gridlock in conversation with someone who does not agree that abortion would be an acceptable choice in my example. Instead I would recommend expressing that we do not know every woman’s situation, and we have to trust that women can make the best decisions for themselves.

Additionally, it is important to avoid falling into the trap of labeling others as “pro-life” or “pro-choice.” Abortion is a multifaceted and personal issue, and discussing it in a binary fashion is simply not productive in many cases. The categories of pro-life and pro-choice do not reflect the nuance and complexity with which many Americans understand and engage with this issue. In fact, 40% of recent voters say that their views on abortion “depend on the situation,” and nearly one-quarter of recent voters said that either both or neither of the labels “pro-life” and “pro-choice” describe their viewpoint. Instead of approaching this topic as a dichotomy with a “you are with me or against me” attitude, it is important to enter these discussions with sensitivity and openness. The emphasis should be that abortion should remain safe and legal (a statement most voters agree with), and “We have not walked in her shoes.”

For more information on this topic check out this excellent source of information.

Pledge-a-Picketer: Show Them We’re Here, No Matter What!


Posted on March 14, 2013 by

If you’ve been to a Planned Parenthood health center, it’s likely that you’ve crossed paths with protesters. While the frequency and duration of the protests varies from health center to health center, many patients find them to be very disrespectful and irritating. Further, staff at many affiliates across the country deal with harassment, including hate-mail, harassing phone calls, and in some cases, protesters have picketed outside the personal homes of our doctors and administrators. When I see them, I tend to look through them. I do not instigate interaction, I just take it in stride. We’re Planned Parenthood, the leading provider of reproductive health care in the country: not everyone agrees with unrestricted access to affordable services. I get it, and while I don’t agree with the protesters’ sentiments, it does not dissuade me from donning my nametag and providing quality care every week.

However, there are some folks out there who are sick and tired of the harassment, and they’ve come up with a very clever campaign to counter the intentions of those picketing demagogues.

picketerA friend of mine works for Planned Parenthood of Rocky Mountains, and they’ve initiated a “Pledge-a-Picketer” event, in which people can donate to the organization by “sponsoring” a picketer. Each time a donation is made, a yellow ribbon is tied outside to show the protesters just how much money they’re raising by being there. The hope, of course, would be to raise awareness about the cruelty and harassment our patients and staff encounter every day as they attempt to conduct things like pap smears, picking up birth control, and conducting safe and legal abortions.

Genious, I say! Genious! Further, this sponsorship campaign has made its way to Reddit, and is gaining speed and momentum. You too can donate to this campaign, and show the protesters that we’re here, and we’re not going anywhere (click on donate button on right sidebar).

Have you dealt with protesters outside one of our Health Centers? Would you donate to this cause?

Arkansans Deserve Better: Planned Parenthood Condemns Most Extreme Abortion Ban in U.S.


Posted on March 13, 2013 by

181016_471474056240797_555277792_nI love Arkansas. I’ve been a tourist to the fine state, dug in their diamond mine, and talked it up to all of my friends. I maintain that the state of Arkansas is an oft-overlooked gem.

However, the fact is that Arkansans deserve better than what their legislature did last week: the Arkansas legislature passed the most extreme abortion ban in the United States – twice – over their governor’s veto. Arkansas’ 12-week ban on abortions signals that 2013 may be even worse than the record-breaking years of 2011 and 2012 for state legislation that limits access to women’s health care.

People in Arkansas and across America know that abortion is a deeply personal and often complex decision for a woman to make. In fact, a Wall Street Journal/NBC poll released in January 2013 found that a majority of Americans – 70 percent – oppose efforts to overturn Roe v. Wade, the highest percentage on this question in nearly 30 years.

The most egregious part of this legislation? Federal courts have again and again declared it unconstitutional: Idaho’s 20-week abortion ban was just declared unconstitutional the day after the Arkansas legislation was passed. Voters and courts have opposed legislation like this time and time again: it’s time for state legislatures to listen.

This trend is a disturbing one, but you can be assured that Planned Parenthood will be there in all 50 states to ensure women have access to reproductive health care, no matter what.

Heard About the Brouhaha in North Dakota?


Posted on February 5, 2013 by

North DakotaI have a special spot in my heart for North Dakota – you work on a campaign there in the middle of a boiling hot Fargo summer, you become fond of it. (And I can pretty much beat anyone here in Florida on ‘most remote state you’ve been to.’) So, I keep up with North Dakota news.

Have you heard the recent story in the news about North Dakota? The university president of North Dakota State University has decided to not accept grant money ($1.2 million over three years) that would assist in preventing teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases in youths in foster care because the program would be run by Planned Parenthood of North Dakota and the statistics would be analyzed by the professors.

Needless to say, this has been a polarizing issue in the state and among the faculty and students of North Dakota State University. (Planned Parenthood of North Dakota, by the way, does not perform abortions in the state.) We are a little biased, of course, but we think that the university president made the wrong choice – and the attorney general of the state is looking into the issue as well.

What do you think? Is the president of NDSU wrong or right in refusing the money?

40 Years After Roe: A New Conversation About Abortion


Posted on January 22, 2013 by

This month marks the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that allowed women to obtain safe and legal abortions in all 50 states. Over the years many legislators have attempted to both overturn or create massive restriction to the law, in an attempt to make abortions illegal. This is still happening today, as you can see with the “Personhood” movement that has been strategically combing the country trying to pass legislation that would define “life” as beginning at conception, thus allowing making illegal contraceptives like the IUC, Plan B, medical procedures like in-vitro fertilization, and of course, all abortion care (even in the case of rape or incest). For many of us, we cannot remember a time in our lives when access to safe and legal abortion did not exist. While most counties in the country do not have abortion providers, with some orchestrated effort, many women find a way to travel to an abortion provider when they need their services.

We tend to think that abortion is a new procedure, since the famous Roe v. Wade decision was the groundbreaking law within the 20th century. But did you realize that abortion has been a procedure that women have been having for hundreds of years? In fact, the first anti-abortion laws were created to protect women from obtaining unsafe abortions, protecting them from unskilled physicians in 1821. It was not until 1873 that the Comstock law was passed, making the disbursement of information about contraception and abortion illegal. Did you get that? The Comstock laws made even talking about abortion and contraception illegal. Imagine that!

roe-v-wade

So, 140 years after the Comstock laws banned women from learning about contraceptives and abortions, we are still having the same battle of politicizing the womb. Women still account for less than 20% of all politicians in our government. Those who make the laws are not the ones who suffer the ramifications, we see this over and over.

It is time for a new conversation to rise from the ashes of the polarized, dogmatic issue of “pro choice” or “pro life.” These are outdated modalities for talking about abortion, and completely dismiss the emotional, social, financial, and practical complexities of women’s experiences with abortion. One in three women within the U.S. will have had at least one abortion by age 45. These women are your family members, your colleagues, your friends, your neighbors, your socially networked communities. Every decision stems from a set of individual circumstances as unique as the woman herself. Abortion is not just an emotional buzzword. Abortion is medical procedure that one in three women will experience in her lifetime, and the perpetuation of the stigma does not reduce rates, only goes to ostracize, dehumanize and polarize us emotionally and intellectually. It’s time we have another discussion, it’s time we respect the women of our communities, and support legislation that allows for greater access to effective and affordable contraceptives that prevent unintended pregnancies (half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are currently unintended).

In the spirit of this new discussion, Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) has launched a new campaign called Not in Her Shoes that reminds us that abortion is not a black and white issue, but a complex decision that many women are faced to make. See the new campaign video below. We’re Planned Parenthood. We Care. No Matter What.

The Other Walk of Shame: From the Pregnancy Test Aisle to the Check-Out Counter


Posted on December 12, 2012 by

Recently a patient told me that she had waited a couple of extra weeks to confirm she was pregnant because she was too embarrassed to purchase a pregnancy test from a store where the clerk might size her up. I felt compassion for her, since I’ve had my share of run-ins with mean mugging at the register.

If you’ve had an unintended pregnancy scare, you likely can relate to the hyper-vigilant nature of securing the test, the adrenaline of peeing on the stick, and your booming heartbeat in your head as the timer ticks down so casually… one line or two… one line or two…

So last week I was with a friend who was in said position. She was late on her period, had been feeling very moody, and feared the big plus sign. It was early on a Sunday morning, and Planned Parenthood was closed, so we decided to head to our local pharmacy. After weaving through the brightly lit aisles, we finally came to the wall of pregnancy tests. Deciding which one to choose was daunting task enough, (check out E.G. Hanna’s post on how to choose a pregnancy test for help with that!) but since she had me with her, I tried to muster up enough medical sense to choose an appropriate set of sticks. I was shocked at the sticker price of many of these… $30? Again, Planned Parenthood for the win, at $10 testing!!

So after selecting the test, she asked me if I would take it to the counter and purchase it since she was overwhelmed by nerves and didn’t think she could make it through the encounter. Of course, sisterhood is forever!

She walked to the car and I walked up to the register. A man who appeared to be in his early 20’s stood there as I approached, and as I placed the cardboard box of anxiety on the counter, he literally said “ooooooooh, damn!” and chuckled. A wave of rage coursed through my veins; I was shocked! The complete lack of empathy and awareness that this dude was exhibiting made me sick. I felt ashamed for my purchase, like I needed to justify my situation to this stranger; it was not the weight of my entire future sitting on my shoulders, just my dearest friend’s who was cowering in the parking lot, terrified. I wasn’t the one who’d had unprotected sex, I was really responsible, I promise, blah blah blah, justify justify justify, shame, humiliation, embarrassment…. Evoked. Really, Dude? Really?!

Impulsively, I snapped my attention right to educating this guy about the lack of tact he was exhibiting, and how inappropriate it was given the situation. I told him what he had done was incredibly rude and insensitive. He responded with a certain shock and shame of his own; he began apologizing and saying he was “just kidding.” I told him it really wasn’t a joking matter. I told him that half of all pregnancies are unplanned, and that many people who are purchasing these types of tests are incredibly stressed and anxious, and by drawing public scrutiny to a very private matter, he was unnecessarily humiliating me. He dropped his cool vibe and got real with me. He told me he was sorry, and that his girlfriend had an unintended pregnancy and that they now have a kid together. He got “real” about how tense and stressful the whole situation was. He apologized for his remarks.

TEACHABLE MOMENT TAUGHT!

I thanked him, took the bag, and headed back to the parking lot. I spared my friend the details of the check out, as she had narrowly dodged the humiliation bullet and was stressed enough. We went back to her apartment, she peed, I talked her down, and then we found the results to be “negative.” Her period eventually came a few days later, and we praised that menstrual flow.

So, friends, the real deal is that people who work in stores that sell pregnancy tests are not formally trained in the art of tact and sensitivity regarding these issues. If you have a similar experience, I hope you will have the gusto to make it a teachable moment, but I understand if the redness of your cheeks won’t allow it. Might I then suggest another option? Planned Parenthood!

Yes, Planned Parenthood offers low cost pregnancy tests, and will administer them with sensitivity, professionalism, and confidentiality. We will provide you with informational resources if you are pregnant, and can discuss better family planning strategies with you if you’re not.

Fun Friday: Giving Thanks…to You!


Posted on November 23, 2012 by

Happy Friday, Feronians! We hope the American readers among you had a great Thanksgiving. Have a fun and safe weekend.

Obviously, Thanksgiving makes us think about the things we are grateful for. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that we are incredibly thankful for you, our readers and supporters around the world. Today, we’re sharing a video of the victories Planned Parenthood had in 2011; we’re so thankful for those we’ve had since as well!

This is Why We Fight: A Tale From an Abortion Educator


Posted on August 15, 2012 by

Every so often, I have a patient interaction that reminds me why I get up for work every morning with enthusiasm, and why it is so important that we remain committed to preserving access to abortion care within this country.

Recently I was working the role of an abortion educator, meaning that on the day of abortion procedures, I discuss the abortion process with patients, including what they can expect throughout the day, the risks and benefits of the procedure, follow-up care, and we discuss birth control for afterward. I always begin these sessions by asking if the patient is firm and clear in their decision, and if they are being coerced in any way. If the client is not ready, or is being pressured to have an abortion we cancel or reschedule the visit to a time when there is 100% confidence and clarity. I always end the visits by asking the patient if there is anything emotional they would like to discuss regarding their decision, which is hard for many people for a variety of personal reasons.

On this particular day I had the pleasure of meeting two sisters from an Eastern European country, one was there for the procedure, one was her support person. The session began similarly to most, in which I narrate a certain set of scripts, then open the conversation into a dialogue. Most patients are pretty quiet about their personal feelings and previous experiences, but this client and her sister were full of stories to share.

The patient was very early in her pregnancy, and explained that she was unable to continue it to parenthood because of the financial situation she was in. She had been told by a doctor in her native country that she should not be on birth control consistently, that she should take “breaks” about once a year, and then go back onto it. She said that this was the second time she’d become pregnant on a “birth control break,” and she was sad and frustrated by its necessity.

I let the patient know that she did not need to take breaks from contraception, unless there was some sort of extenuating medical condition that she had that I was not aware of (I’d never heard of such requirement in my four years on the job). The news hit her with a crash, she was shocked but relieved that she no longer needed to take months off from her pills and risk unplanned pregnancy.

She told me she was very nervous about the abortion because of one she’d had three years earlier in her native country. She repeated several times that she was treated “like an animal,” and was nervous a similar experience would occur on that day. She’d elected to have a medication abortion instead of a surgical because of the trauma she’d endured in her last situation. She became emotional very quickly as the story began, and I could see her anxiety rising in her voice, mannerisms, and in her eyes.

She told me she was just over four weeks pregnant (from a birth control “break”) and had to schedule the procedure in a hospital. The procedure costed the equivalent of about $1500, and no assistance was available. She was not able to have any family member or support person join her throughout any portion of her visit. She was taken back to a hospital cot where she waited for hours, alone. Eventually, a dilator was inserted into her cervix, where she said it remained overnight. Hospital staff ignored her, she was not given meals, nor the ability to update friends or family. She was alone, without any sort of pain medication, weeping in pain for hours and hours, until finally the doctor arrived, conducted the procedure without even speaking to her. When she vocalized her discomfort she was mocked by staff and humiliated. Overall, she and her sister told me the abortion stay took 16 hours. She said she was made to feel ashamed and incompetent.

Clearly her experience in our office was the complete opposite of what she’d experienced previously, and she was relieved. She thanked me for the compassionate and gentle care that she was receiving, and told me that she felt safe despite the trauma she’d previously endured. We were able to schedule her to receive a Mirena IUD (5 year reversible contraceptive method) at her follow-up visit, so she would no longer need to worry about taking “breaks” from her reliable contraceptive. In fact, her sister scheduled to receive one on the same day as well!

Unplanned pregnancies, for many reasons, can be extremely stressful for females to endure. I am grateful that I work for an organization that provides people with the ability to plan their family and their future with safe, comprehensive, medically-accurate education and clinical care. I stand with Planned Parenthood.

Family Planning in Botswana, Zambia and Zimbabwe


Posted on August 9, 2012 by

I recently spent 15 days traveling in Africa and, naturally, my curiosity about all things sexual led me to ask questions. I was pleasantly surprised by how open and willing people were to talk. All three countries I visited - Botswana, Zambia and Zimbabwe - had free and readily accessible family planning through their Ministries of Health. The most common methods used were pills (known as tablets), the shot (known as injectable) and implant. I’ll cover condom use and HIV in a future blog.

My first conversation about family planning was on a 5-seater plane between Chobe National Park and the Okavanga Delta in Botswana. A former Peace Corps volunteer, Debbie, was the roving nurse for the Wilderness Safari Company. She flew between tented camps throughout all three counties we visited, administering to the various needs of the extensive staff at each camp. She said family planning was readily accepted, free and easy to get. Botswana, in particular had a relatively low birthrate for many years. A bit of research led me to the fact that International Planned Parenthood Federation started work with the government of Botswana in 1969.

According to Mwani, the manager at the Lufapa Tented Camp in Zambia where we spent 3 days, all types of birth control are available in Zambia at no cost. Usually, birth control is not given until after the first child is born. Most commonly, a shot is given, unless the new mom strongly objects, at her six-week postpartum visit. The pill and shot are what is most used, but when I mentioned the ring, patch, IUD and implant, she said they were all available, too.

One of the most interesting conversations was with the daughter of a village headman in very rural Zimbabwe. Our group of 12 was seated in a large circular mud and thatch hut where the patriarch and leader of a village of around 500 held his regular meetings to solve family and village disputes. Mr. Johnson was surrounded by his sons, their wives and children, his wife, and his father’s second wife, who happened to be 7 years younger than him. Any question about “women’s issues” he deferred to his daughter and daughter-in-law.

When asked about family planning, his daughter confirmed what I had heard in Zambia. All methods were available. The average family size was 2 or 3 children. A van from the Ministry of Health came to the village once a moth to distribute supplies, give prenatal care, immunizations and administer basic health care. Babies were now delivered in the hospital instead of within the villages.

Every conversation I had was so matter-of-fact and natural. Even though all 3 countries are mostly Christian, there was no controversy about the use of family planning. Sometimes where you least expect it, sanity reigns.

Share Your Story and Build a Movement: Why Do You Believe in Equality?


Posted on July 31, 2012 by

Youth Organizing and Policy Institute - OrlandoIf you’re a regular reader of the Feronia Project, chances are that you’re interested in issues of sexual health. But here’s a question for you: how did you come to be interested in the movement of sexual health, reproductive justice, and equitable health care? And how can you use your story of self to bring people into the movement as well?

This is just one of the things that you’ll learn at the Youth Organizing and Policy Institute. Are you 18-24 and interested in this work? Join the YOPI closest to you this summer – find out more here.

I was lucky enough to go through YOPI training this summer, and learned that nothing is as important as sharing your story. So, I’ll share my story if you’ll share yours:

When I was 13 years old, I stood in the dark in my childhood bedroom, holding the phone. On the other end, my 41-year-old father was telling me that he had just been diagnosed with lung cancer. Every parent deserves the opportunity to watch their child grow up – and during his two-year battle with the disease, he and his health care company underwent every treatment possible to have that happen. Because he was insured, he was given every opportunity to try.

Ten years later, I decided to move to the United Kingdom to get my master’s degree. I spent a few years there and decided that while the United Kingdom was lovely, there was no place like home. In 2009, I moved back to the United States and got a job – but didn’t have health insurance and couldn’t afford it. I was too rich for Medicaid and too poor to afford a monthly insurance premium, so where did I go in my time of need? Where did I go to get my yearly checkups? Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood helped me when I needed it, and the compassionate care of the staff at the health center remains one of my best health care experiences. While I now am fully covered by health care, I still go to Planned Parenthood for my checkups. Those patients in the waiting room, waiting for their care? It wasn’t too long ago that I was one of them, waiting and wondering when I could afford to get health care in case, God forbid, something catastrophic happened to me – like I, and many others, know all too well.

That’s why this movement is important to me. That’s my story of why I do what I do every day.

What’s your story? Why did you get involved in reproductive justice and equitable health care – and why is it important to you? Would you like to use your story to build a movement? Join your nearest YOPI.