Tag Archives: safer sex

SOS! Condoms, Please.


Posted on May 14, 2013 by

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durexDurex recently launced an emergency condom delivery service. The iPhone app is called SOS Condoms, and it will deliver condoms to your door in an within one hour!

What kind of uniform would a condom delivery person wear? Head-to-toe rubber? A Durex-emblazened polo shirt announcing your urgent need to wrap it up? Actually, the delivery people are disguised as tourists, police officers, or pizza delivery people as to make the delivery more discreet.

How does it work? According the the app, you simply request a delivery, then you confirm your location. After that, you select the condoms you want, then wait for your delivery. You pay the delivery person once they arrive. Visit their website to see for yourself how it works. You can even vote for the next city to benefit from this delivery service (so far, Batman, Turkey is winning).

What do you think about this condom delivery service?

 

Informing Your Partner of Your Positive STI Result


Posted on May 2, 2013 by

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Life can present you with many challenging situations. One of the most difficult scenarios is what to say to a current or past partner when you’ve received a positive STI test result. You want to do the right thing, but what to say, when to say it, and how to say it can seem overwhelming. The website  So They Can Know offers a variety of options to help facilitate the process, although nothing can really remove all the embarrassment and stigma that one might feel.

If you can’t manage a face-to-face conversation, one option is to call them. For some, this is the easiest, most direct approach so they can gauge how the person reacts and then react accordingly. This is one of the least impersonal and most courageous route to take, but certainly not for the faint of heart.

Others cannot even imagine having to speak to a former or current partner in person or by phone so tips on e-mailing or texting are also offered by the folks at So They Can Know.

Another option is to send an anonymous e-card from a company called inSPOT. You can find a variety of cards on their website.

inspot-message

Whatever option you pick, be assured that you are doing the adult, responsible thing, difficult as it may be. Wouldn’t you want to know?

Self Love is Safe Love: A History of Masturbation


Posted on March 5, 2013 by

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Masturbation Doesn't Screw With Your Eyes, Really

Today we are re-running an oldie, but so very goodie: Fosgood’s history of masturbation post. Enjoy!

Masturbation has a long and colorful history.  According to some ancient Egyptian myths, the god Apsu created the Milky Way when he copulated with his fist. (This certainly gives star gazing a new twist!) Greek men and women both were known to masturbate and saw it as a gift from the gods. They believed the god Hermes taught his son Pan how to masturbate to help heal his broken heart when he was rejected by the nymph, Echo.

Some took it a bit too far: the philosopher Diogenes masturbated in public stating that no human activity should be seen so shameful that it must be done in private; his fellow citizens disagreed. The physician Galen felt that the retention of semen is dangerous and leads to sickness while Hippocrates cautioned that loss of excessive amounts of semen could result in physical damage, such as spinal cord deterioration.

Women in ancient Athens commonly purchased dildos known as olisbos, made of padded leather or wood. Greek men saw masturbation as a sign of poverty and if you had the money, you would pay someone to do it for you. A few centuries later, Roman boys were encouraged to deplete their sexual energies through philosophy and gymnastics, the Roman equivalent of a cold shower.

Many of the negative attitudes about masturbation are attributed to the Bible, but no mention of masturbation is found; actually, what is referred to is the story of Onan, who  protested God’s commandment to impregnate his brother’s widow, whom he did have sex with but pulled out and “spilled his seed.”  From here, things went way downhill. An early Christian bishop taught that masturbation was a worse sin than adultery, rape and incest because it was “unnatural” and a form of contraception. On and on the debate went for many centuries. By 1729 the “post-masturbation disease” came with a long list of serious and debilitating symptoms and charlatans made a killing selling cures for this dreaded affliction.

Things became so extreme that be the turn of the 20th century parents were encouraged to have their sons circumcised so as not to be aroused when cleaning their foreskins and daughters to have clitoridectomies (removal of the clitoris).  Parents were encouraged to place their children in straightjackets, or wrap the child in cold wet sheets and apply leeches to remove blood and congestion, or burn genital tissue with hot irons to make sure their child had no access to their genitals at night where the evil deed was likely to happen.

There has been much improvement in the attitudes about masturbation, but there is still a long way to go. On a regular basis, health educators today still hear very negative responses about masturbation. (Female masturbation, in particular, is often greeted with something like, “Eww, that’s nasty!”) I’ve frequently asked parent groups concerned about masturbation if they would prefer their child masturbate or be out having sex, possibly causing a pregnancy or contracting a STI. That gets them thinking – though many would just prefer their child have no sexual feelings at all.

We know masturbation is an important way for people to discover their own sexuality, prevent infection (as long as their hands are clean), and prevent a pregnancy – and we would sincerely hope it’s sex with someone you love!

Edit: Historical facts come from the Planned Parenthood Federation of America’s white paper publication, Masturbation, From Stigma to Sexual Health.

New STI Fact Sheet from CDC – A $16 Billion Price Tag


Posted on February 21, 2013 by

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This month the Centers for Disease Control published its latest report on the incidence, prevalence, and cost of STIs in the US. Even I was shaking my head. The report states that there are approximately 20 million new infections each year costing the American health care system $16 BILLION in direct medical costs alone. While most STIs will not cause physical harm if diagnosed and treated early, some have the potential to cause severe health issues. This is a dollar amount only. What about the emotional cost? How are relationships or potential relationships affected? Priceless.

chart

Nearly 50% of the new cases are found in people between 15 and 24, though this age group accounts for only 25% of the sexually active population. STIs don’t show much of a gender preference. Women have a slight edge at 51% of new cases compared to 49% in men. I always wonder about all of the people who have not been tested and have no symptoms.

What to do? More education, easier access to testing, more free testing available, better communication between partners, condom promotion? It must be a cultural shift that includes all of the above. To read the entire report click here.

Please don’t assume you are not at risk because you’ve only had one partner, always use a condom, or have never had a symptom. To make an appointment for an STI check visit us at Planned Parenthood.

Redefining SEX


Posted on January 23, 2013 by

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So you switched birth control methods, forgot a condom, met a stranger you just could’t resist, were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or any of the other excuses people use when they don’t have protection, but still want to have sex. I suggest you redefine your definition of sex.

Many people have a very narrow definition of sex. They think if there is no penis in a vagina, it’s not the real thing. People in same gender relationships learn early on that sex involves much more than just those body parts.

Let’s do a basic review of what we don’t want in our body from someone else’s body so we can reduce the chances of pregnancy or STIs. A male’s seminal fluid contains millions of sperm who have one objective: find the egg. They are mobile and motivated! As soon as a male becomes aroused, the Cowper’s gland at the base of the penis releases a drop of fluid commonly known as pre-cum, pre-nut or pre-ejaculatory fluid. This tiny drop may contain sperm, depending on when the male last ejaculated, but it will definitely contain any STI he happens to have. So the thing to remember is that while you can’t become pregnant unless this fluid gets into or near the vagina (remember they can SWIM,  so fooling around just a little is no guarantee a pregnancy can’t happen) this fluid can spread a STI through oral or anal sex.

glandsOn the female side of things, for her to become pregnant she must have released an egg. Although this generally happens once a month around the mid-point between periods, females have gotten pregnant anytime during the month that an egg has been released. Most females don’t know when this is about to happen and the sperm can live in her body for about 5 days just waiting for an egg to be released. STIs live in and near her vagina, so oral sex on a female won’t cause a pregnancy, but it may pass a STI to the mouth.

For most people, a major component of sex is orgasm. While some people may be satisfied with cuddling, kissing and all other assorted foreplay, most people want to COME! So here is where a creative mind is a wonderful thing. Slow down and enjoy some experimentation. Here are a few suggested avenues to explore.

Use Your Hands

The delightful chef Julia Childs said that when cooking, use your hands as tools. I think this is excellent advice for sexual pleasuring as well. Learn to explore your partner in ways you may never have done before. Find sensitive spots you or they may never even knew existed. Try the, “does this feel good?” technique. There is a whole body that is sensitive to touch. Mutual masturbation can also be very exciting with the same result as vaginal sex.

Use Your Mouth

While you do need to be careful about seminal and vaginal fluids of partners whose STI status is unknown or known to have a STI, if you are just trying to prevent pregnancy, oral sex can be a fulfilling alternative. Not sure what to do? Check out this fantastic book The Guide to Getting it On. Their section on oral sex is particularly helpful to beginners.

Use Alternative Body Parts

In various cultures around the world, partners would rub the penis between thighs, breasts wherever else feels good, to preserve a female’s virginity and prevent pregnancy. Similarly, for many females, rubbing whatever feels good against the clitoris can stimulate to orgasm even better than a penis.

Use a “FiFi”

Remember the movie American Pie where the teen uses a warm apple pie to imitate a vagina? I learned about “fifis” when teaching in detention centers. Teens became very creative making fake vaginas and penises out of materials available to them. Especially popular were washcloths and hand lotion!

Use a Sex Toy

There is massive variety of apparatus available that can enhance sexual pleasure (see this previous post for some suggestions). Just be careful not to share anything that can spread fluids between partners. See section one and try the, “does this feel good?” technique here too. Go online or to an adult store and pick something out together. This in itself can be very arousing.

Add Lubrication to Hands And Anywhere Else It Feels Good

Lubricants can greatly enhance sensitivity, especially when using your hands to pleasure someone (check out a previous post about lube).

I’m sure many of you have other ideas to share! Between two (or more) consenting adults, there is no limit to the variety of ways to give and receive pleasure safely. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Considering the Female Condom


Posted on December 5, 2012 by

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We’re happy to welcome in Dave from theohface.com, a blog that discusses sex, gender and sexuality issues from a sex positive perspective. His mission is to help create safe spaces for dialogue about these issues and to diminish the stigma surrounding them. Look out for more posts from him in 2013; he’ll be guest posting monthly about sexual health from a male perspective.

Today, he’s asking why people don’t use the female condom:

Female CondomThe female condom (FC) is a strange and altogether unsexy looking thing. It’s big and shapeless and even a bit intimidating. But to be fair, the male condom isn’t particularly sexy looking either. So why is it that so few people use the female condom?

There are some really great reasons for women to consider using the female condom. They are the only HIV/STI prevention device that puts the power of protection squarely in the hands of women. The traditional condom is often the male partner’s responsibility to supply and apply before sex. Not all men have adequate condom education and this can lead to improper application and higher risk of STI transmission and pregnancy.

One of the most common complaints about the FC is the unsightly ring that hangs out around the vulva. This ring, however, is an effective form of HPV and Herpes prevention. HPV and Herpes are both spread through skin-skin contact and traditional condoms do nothing to prevent this. It has also been reported that, during intercourse, this ring can be a source of pleasure as it creates friction against the clitoris.

The other main barrier keeping people from using the female condom is that they just don’t know how to use it. Women who are considering using the FC are encouraged to go to their local clinic or drug store and pick up a few to take home and become familiar with. Learning how to insert it and remove it from one’s own body and becoming comfortable with the female condom can be a big step for women wanting to take control of their sexual health.

Female condoms empower women to be in complete control of their own STI prevention. Like all new things, it may take some time to get used to. Women wanting to use the FC may have to educate their partners and perhaps even face some resistance about using them, but few things are quite as sexy as an STI test that comes back negative. Educate yourself about the Female Condom, go out and grab a couple, talk to your friends or partners about them. Fear of the unknown shouldn’t prevent you from being as safe as possible while enjoying your sex life.

STIs: The Facts About Trichomoniasis


Posted on October 30, 2012 by

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If you are having genital discharge that is uncomfortable, itchy, or odorous, or if you are just getting tested for STIs, you probably are already thinking about the possibility of chlamydia and gonorrhea. But there is another infection called trichomoniasis that is lesser known and can also cause discomfort and other problems.

What is trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis is the term for infection, usually vaginal or urethral, with the protozoa Trichomonas vaginalis. According to the CDC, “In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection, but only about 30% develop any symptoms of trichomoniasis. Infection is more common in women than in men, and older women are more likely than younger women to have been infected.”

Where did I get it? It’s a type of sexually transmitted infection, although very rarely it’s been reported to be caused by swimming in a lake, jacuzzi, or sharing wet towels. It is most often spread by genital sexual contact.

What symptoms might I have?

It is possible to have no symptoms, especially if it is in the urethra. A vaginal infection is more likely to produce symptoms. If you do have symptoms, you may experience copious green or yellow frothy vaginal discharge, vaginal odor or irritation, and severe itching, burning after urination or ejaculation, itching of the urethra, urethral discharge. It is possible to transmit the infection to a partner even if you do not have symptoms.

Why should I be concerned?

Aside from it potentially being massively uncomfortable, trichomoniasis can increase a person’s risk of acquiring HIV and delivering premature or low birth weight babies.

How do I find out if I have it?

The best way is an exam by a practitioner. A sample of vaginal discharge is taken and put under a microscope so the provider can visualize the organism. Testing for urethral infection is a little bit more difficult; if there is penile discharge the provider can sample that under a microscope. Trichomonas is not routinely screened for in STI screening panels, so if you are concerned you may have it be sure to ask your provider for an examination.

How do I treat it?

Treatment is simple, with either the antibiotic Metronidazole or a newer drug, Tinidazole. You may take the medication only one day, or for 3-5 days depending on the medication and your providers orders. It is important to avoid alcohol while on this medication and finish the full course.

Trichomoniasis is curable and can be prevented by using condoms.

How to Shop for Condoms


Posted on October 25, 2012 by

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When you’re standing in the condom aisle, seconds seem like hours. Your eyes dart nervously across the colorful packaging, waiting for some clear sign that you should grab one particular box and make a mad dash for the checkout line. Oh yeah, then there’s that pack of gum to grab.

Condom shopping doesn’t have to be difficult or awkward. If you use my three-point condom shopping system, you’ll be outta’ there and gettin’ busy before you know it.

Step #1 – Material

Condoms are made from three different materials – latex, polyurethane and lambskin.

  • Latex: helps prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections; stretchy, yet durable; ring at base; reservoir tip for ejaculate; inexpensive (or free if you get them at the health department or Planned Parenthood)
  • Polyurethane (fancy word for plastic): helps prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, safe for those with a latex allergy; less stretchy than latex, but still durable, ring at base; reservoir tip for ejaculate; transfers heat better than latex; female condoms come in this material
  • Lambskin: helps prevent pregnancy ONLY (because it is made from animal intestinal lining, it has small pores that bacteria and viruses can fit through, but sperm are bigger, therefore contained by the condom); a bit more eco-friendly than latex or polyurethane; safe for those whose culture or religion dictates the use of a “natural” method of birth control or for those not worried about sexually transmitted infections; no ring at base (more like a drawstring); no reservoir tip for ejaculate; distinct odor; fairly expensive

So, decide which material is right for you and, when you’re shopping, let your eyes wander to the bottom right side of the boxes – that’s where the material type is usually printed. I recommend latex or polyurethane.

Step #2 – Expiration Date

Condoms are manufactured about 5 years before they expire so if your condoms expire next month, they’re already 5 years old. Age degrades the material, making condoms more likely to break. The expiration date is usually printed on the back or side flap of the box and on each individual condom, as seen below:

Step #3 – “The Extras”

By “extras” I mean lubricant, spermicide, size, texture, flavoring, etc. Here’s the skinny on the “extras”:

  • Lubricant: unless you have a bottle of safe lubricant (water-based, because oil-based breaks condoms) handy, opt for lubricated condoms for vaginal and/or anal sex. For oral sex, either get a dental dam or cut an unlubricated condom up the side.
  • Spermicide: this is often called nonoxynol-9 and is a chemical that helps to kill sperm. The use of spermicides is debatable on several fronts. Do your research before you decide on this one.
  • Size: condoms are basically one-size-fits-all. There are, however, “slim fit” and “extra large” versions. Just remember, condoms are SUPPOSED TO BE SNUG.
  • Texture: ribbed or studded – truth is, it doesn’t matter much, particulary for penis-in-vagina sex. Why? Because the vaginal walls have very few nerve endings, making it hard to feel tiny ribs or studs. Think about it – women can wear tampons for hours and not feel a thing! Really, ribs and studs and such are just marketing tools.
  • Flavoring: If it tastes like strawberries, that means it has some sugar and flavoring to make it taste like strawberries. These condoms are meant for oral sex only. Sugar can cause a yeast infection because it throws off the pH balance in the vagina.

But what about the brand name!!!??? I get this question a lot. Just pick a trusted brand. You might need to try various types of condoms before you find one that you really like.

If going to the store to purchase condoms or going to the health department or Planned Parenthood to get free ones is just too intimidating for you, do your shopping online.

This Week In: Sexual Health


Posted on September 20, 2012 by

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Vitamin D could be more important to fetal development than previously thought

A recent study has implicated Vitamin D deficiency in mental and motor skill impairment in infants. Vitamin D deficiency in pregnancy has previously also been linked to language impairment at later ages. The amount of vitamin D currently recommended during pregnancy varies from 600 to 2000 units per day.

A new vaginal ring being tested for use in HIV prevention

Animal testing showed promising results for a new vaginal ring, similar in form to the NuvaRing, that releases medication designed to prevent HIV infection. The ring could stay in place for months, as opposed to a gel or pill that must be used daily. If shown to work in human studies, this could allow women more control over their sexual health, especially those in situations where they may not have the power to request a condom.

In light of anti-biotic resistance, the CDC changes mind about gonorrhea treatment

The two current drug options for treating gonorrhea are cefixime and ceftriaxone. The CDC has found that cefixime has proven less effective than it used to be, due to growing antibacterial resistance of the gonorrhea organism. Gonorrhea has grown fully resistant to other classes of drugs in the past, causing worry among CDC researchers that it may become resistant to ceftriaxone as well, leaving it untreatable. Gonorrhea is preventable by using condoms.