This Week In: Politics and My Increasing Frustration

No, I’m not actually an anarchist. And I’ll probably end up voting for Obama again, just to avoid having a president who will take away our birth control and make safe abortions illegal. But sometimes I look at our political system and the culture in which we must struggle for our rights and our health and just think … damn.

• So March is Women’s History Month and the Obama administration issued a Proclamation about it. I read through it, finding “promoting workplace flexibility, striving to bring more women into math and science professions, and fighting for equal pay for equal work,” OK; “combating violence against women,” OK;  “equal role in peace-building” OK … wait a minute. No mention of reproductive health? Birth control? Abortion? Any mention of the issues all over the headlines every day recently? At my most generous, that’s … an odd oversight. Cynical me thinks that this is a meaningless proclamation designed to be as inoffensive as possible to avoid any controversy (which, to Democrats, means making Republicans mad). Do women’s reproductive health choices only matter when the administration is trying to pass a healthcare bill? I hope not.  I was also bothered by this phrase: “While we have made great strides toward equality, we cannot rest until our mothers, sisters, and daughters assume their rightful place as full participants in a secure, prosperous, and just society.”  Um, this nation has many women citizens fully capable of working towards equality – why is that phrased like the country is full of dudes who just happen to be related to women? Perhaps it was phrased that way because most of his administration is made up of men…oh snap.

• So, not only were women not included in the Congress panel on contraception, but the one woman who was invited (by the Democrats, of course) was not allowed to speak because her name was allegedly submitted too late … sure. Sandra Fluke, a Georgetown University law student, came to testify about the importance of birth control to women’s health and success. Even though she wasn’t even allowed to speak, she has still been subjected to media harassment. She’s been called a slut and a prostitute for admitting to needing birth control just like millions of American women. I’m not linking to a page because, frankly, I don’t want to give a certain someone more media attention, but Google if you must. But, in case you were under the impression that conservatives don’t think you’re a whore for being a sexual human being who uses contraception, sorry.

If you’d like to support Sandra Fluke, you can reach her on Twitter @sandrafluke. Have you guys been keeping up on the birth control stuff in the news? What are your thoughts?

Condoms and Sexual Negotiations: What You Want Matters, But How Do You Get It?

I have a good friend who is one of the most strongly feminist women that I know. She was part of the feminist group on her campus, helped put on The Vagina Monologues, runs a very popular feminist blog, promotes safe sex and gender equality every chance she gets, and is basically a notorious all-around activist loudmouth. She has that pure drive that few people have. A while back, I got a panicked message from her because she had finally lost her virginity, and was now worried about her health.

Being educated about safe sex, she had planned ahead and brought condoms and insisted the guy use them, but when he vehemently protested and then outright refused, she gave in. Now, she was worried about pregnancy and STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).  This story broke my heart, because even one of the strongest girls I know was pressured into potentially sacrificing her health so that her partner could avoid wearing a condom.

I see this over and over again. One woman who was paying hundreds of dollars for a birth control method she could get for free in her home state if she only waited one month paid out of pocket anyway because her boyfriend refused to use condoms and she was terrified of getting pregnant. “He doesn’t like them,” she told me. Another woman had a high risk for stroke on pills containing estrogen due to her high blood pressure and migraines but was desperate for us to prescribe them to her because she hated her progestin-only pills.  Her boyfriend wouldn’t use a condom because he told her “it was against his religion.”

Now, I know that sex takes two and I don’t want to portray this as a story of poor women being coerced by evil men. Women want to have sex just as badly as men do and if condom usage does not seem like an option, many people will choose risky sex over no sex. However, I truly think that men’s sexual pleasure is held at a higher priority than women’s bodies and desires and I want this to change.  It is vitally important that women protect their health and understand that their boundaries and requests for safe sex are important and should be respected.

So, if you’re sexually active and know that you prefer to use condoms, whether for birth control purposes or just to avoid STIs, here are some tips that I hope will empower you to control your sexual destiny:

  1. Carry condoms with you.  Planning ahead doesn’t make you presumptuous or promiscuous. You can’t use them if no one has them!
  2. Don’t be afraid to be firm. Women are taught to be polite and it’s hard for us sometimes to stand up for ourselves.  It’s okay to tell someone there will be no sex without a condom.  Most people, given the choice between sex with a condom and no sex, will choose sex with a condom. I don’t want to propagate the notion that it’s easy for women to turn down sex because we want it less than men do anyway; turning down sex you want because you don’t have a condom or they won’t use one really sucks. But like I said, a lot of people will agree if you insist and if not, at least you don’t have an STD or pregnancy scare.
  3. Female condoms, female condoms, female condoms!  If they don’t want to use a condom, you can use one yourself.  They even have extra benefits; they cover the vulva so you have more protection against viruses like HPV and herpes.  They can also be used for anal sex.

Remember, you have the right to state what you want during sex and stick with it. Also, if your partner consistently protests at wearing condoms if you want them to, ask yourself some questions about the safety of your relationship.  Putting your body at risk for pregnancy and infection is a big red flag.

Have any of you ever been in a situation where a partner refused to wear a condom when you wanted them to?  What did you do?

This Week In: Sexism

● My new favorite blog Skepchick writes about what happens when a teenage girl posts a headshot of her holding a Carl Sagan book on an Atheist forum. Spoilers: Rape jokes, misogyny, then some more rape jokes. Why is this significant? Because too often this type of behavior is assumed to be the realm of the openly hateful–maybe the super right-wing, or the fanatically-religious, or the men’s rights activists, or the frat jocks–but sometimes we forget that even the supposedly liberal spaces can be hostile and dangerous for women. Things like this serve to remind us that there is still a lot of work to do.

● The Lego Company is releasing a new line for girls…for some reason. Why it’s assumed girls can’t just play with regular Legos, I don’t know. To the surprise of no one, the girls’ Legos will have less boxy, more lithe and shapely figurines, and feature pastel sets with lots of pink. I’m no longer surprised by marketing that is divided into a male/female dichotomy, nor am I surprised that items marketed to girls would be rife with pastels. I even get that it’s more about capitalism then sexism. But really, what is it with marketers being so uncreative that they always seem to reach for the old-fashioned gender stereotypes? Is the part of our brain that makes us want to buy stuff on the opposite side of the critical thinking part? I don’t get it.

● Women in Egypt continue being awesome, in what according to the New York Times historians are calling “the biggest women’s demonstration in modern Egyptian history.”  These protests were triggered after soldiers stormed Tahrir Square, stripped a woman of her abaya and revealed her bra. Discussion of the protests requires much more nuance and detail than can be covered in this post, but the gist of it is anger at the military council and its behavior towards dissenters. I don’t know about you but I find the protesters courage really inspiring, and I’ll be following the news closely.

● And you may have seen it already, but frankly looking at current events can be a little depressing, so lets wrap this up with a freaking adorable girl ranting over the ridiculousness of the gender division between boys’ and girls’ toys. Seeing kids learn these lessons so young makes me hopeful for the future.

The Problem with Pop Science

Science, despite its efforts to be objective, is easily influenced by social norms and expectations.  As science historian Londa Schiebinger points out in Salon, an excellent example of this is the human egg. Once thought to be a passive drifter awaiting a strong swimmer, it was determined in the 70′s to have microvilli on its surface to grab and catch sperm, becoming its own active force in fertilization.  The microvilli were actually discovered in the 1890′s, but not considered noteworthy until the 1970′s, as noted by Salon writer Margaret Wertheim in the same article, “a time when women’s roles in society were themselves being reconceived.”

I bring this up because pop science – what I consider the interpretation of scientific studies into soundbite worthy articles for news sites – is so often used to make headlines by using a study to present some (alleged) fact about men, women, and/or sex. These facts may conveniently be “politically incorrect,” which is the polite way of saying they reinforce conservative notions of gender or sex roles. Often, the culprit is my arch nemesis: Evolutionary Psychology (but more on that in another article).

Once you’ve noticed this trend, you’ll find it’s everywhere.  Just recently reported in August, a study done at FSU by Roy Baumeister found that “countries with greater gender equality have higher rates of sexual activity.”  According to his research, he found that “with [gender] parity comes a greater likelihood of casual sex and more sexual partners.”  Study number two, done by John Hopkins University and reported by the Huffington Post in September, finds that “dominant women have less sex.” The study was a survey of African women, and as co-author Carie Muntifering put it, “[u]nderstanding how women’s position in the household influences their sexual activity may be an essential piece in protecting the sexual rights of women and helping them achieve a sexual life that is both safe and pleasurable.”

I’m not interested in the fact that these two studies found such different results; they were done by different researchers with different subjects in different countries, after all.  What I find interesting is the conclusions drawn from the information as well as the reporting itself.  In study number one, the author uncovered higher rates of sexual activity. He went on to explain that “when women have more access to educational and financial opportunities, they don’t need to hold sex hostage as much, so they relaxed the controls they’ve put on sexuality.” He goes on to state that sex is used by women as an economic force to attain goals and “get what they want from men.”  The article describes the prevalence of increased casual sexual partners as a “mathematical, emotionless” characteristic.

In study number two, though the study author seemed to indicate that less sexual partners was a positive sign of increased sexual control for the African women, the writers of the article chose to frame it quite differently. They reported that “empowered women…could be losing out on sex” and that “the more decisions made, the less physical intimacy” they experienced, a decidedly negative-sounding side effect.  The important similarity between the two articles is this – both articles placed a negative connotation on women’s sexual freedom. The women who experienced increased sexual activity were mathematical and calculating, the women who experienced decreased sexual activity were missing out.  Looks like women can’t win!

Sometimes it’s not just the journalism you must look at with a skeptical eye, but the study itself.  The University of West Scotland did a study on the way women walk and their history of orgasms – particularly, vaginal orgasms.  16 subjects were analyzed for their gait and their history of orgasm. (I admit the article already lost me here – I’d never put much faith in a study with such a small sample size anyway.) They found that a “trained sexologist” could tell which women had vaginal orgasms based on the longer stride and increased vertebral rotation. They supposed that women who had vaginal orgasms may “feel more confident in their sexuality, which might be reflected in their gait.” They went on to discuss the studies implications for sexual dysfunction therapies. My issue with this? Lack of vaginal orgasm is not sexual dysfunction. The utter lack of discussion on the clitoral orgasm reinforces the long-standing cultural notion that vaginal orgasms are superior to clitoral ones and frankly seems a little insulting towards women who can only have the clitoral kind.

My point isn’t to judge anyone; they’re all looking for a human interest story, and all they have is their cultural mores and values to draw upon.  I just think it’s important to draw attention to how science, no matter how rigorous the method used, is vulnerable to our own cultural perceptions when we try to interpret it.  This has huge implications for what we consider true, as well as where we choose to get our information from. The next time you see a study in the news, pay careful attention to the dissonance between the data and the words used to describe it, and above all – stay skeptical.

Target Women with Sarah Haskins

If you haven’t yet seen Target Women with Sarah Haskins, you’re in for a treat. Sarah and her team at Current TV explore the ridiculous, hilarious and often insulting content of pop culture/television advertisements in a collage of clips and clever critiques.

I stopped watching television about five years ago, and now it’s hard to even be around one while it’s on. To me, it’s not the television shows that get me nauseated, it’s the endless barrage of sexist/classist/racist commercials that are cleverly crafted to seep into your brain.

While I enjoy all of Sarah’s episodes, check out this knee-slapper on birth control:

Will this change the way you see advertisements too?

This Week In: Sexism

Sexual harassment has been highlighted in the media lately and, though I’m glad awareness seems to be increasing, the messages being put out are not great for women.

 ● Katie Roiphe at the New York Times writes an article dismissing sexual harassment as something too “vague, subjective, slippery” to care about, and says “Show me a smart, competent young professional woman who is utterly derailed by a verbal unwanted sexual advance or an inappropriate comment about her appearance, and I will show you a rare spotted owl.”  I don’t know about you, but when I’ve been sexually harassed I was never derailed but I was hurt, embarrassed, nauseated and angry.  And it was still harassment.

 ● Nonprofit research organization American Association of University Women found in a research study that “nearly half” of 7th to 12th graders out of a representative group of 1,965 students have experienced sexual harassment in the last school year. Girls were more likely than boys to have experienced physical sexual harassment, and female students reported that the harassment that bothered them the most were unwelcome sexual comments.  Boys stated that the harassment that had the “worst effect” on them was being called gay.

 ● J. Bryan Lowder at XXfactor weighed in on the above study and missed the point entirely, referring to the harassment as “youthful mistakes” made out of “adolescent ignorance,” and stating that writing on Facebook that a girl is a “whore” [is not] equivalent to molesting her at a party.” 

Okay, this sounds a lot like the old “don’t you have more important things to worry about?” derail.  The problem here is that when someone finds it necessary to point out that a particular type of harassment is not as severe as other kinds, they – whether they mean to or not – sound dismissive of said harassment.  And this dismissal would be a mistake because it’s not just the level of harassment that we should consider, it’s the cause.  Minor and severe harassment or assault are manifestations of the same internalized cultural beliefs.  Calling a boy gay in a derogatory manner and beating up a gay kid come from the same belief that being gay is wrong.  Grabbing girls in the hallways at school and assaulting them at a party come from the same belief that girls exist as sex objects that don’t deserve bodily autonomy.  And if we dismiss school harassment as youthful immaturity we miss a chance to teach our kids better values before their behavior becomes even more harmful to others.

 ● And in case you missed it, Sady Doyle of the excellent blog Tiger Beatdown recently started a Twitter hashtag called #mencallmethings to illustrate the type of gendered abuse women bloggers receive on the internet.  Trigger warning for lots of sexist comments, rape and assault threats, and foul language.  It’s an interesting window into the types of comments women writers on the internet have to deal with on a regular basis.