Tag Archives: STIs

Redefining SEX

Posted on January 23, 2013 by Fosgood

So you switched birth control methods, forgot a condom, met a stranger you just could’t resist, were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or any of the other excuses people use when they don’t have protection, but still want to have sex. I suggest you redefine your definition of sex.

Many people have a very narrow definition of sex. They think if there is no penis in a vagina, it’s not the real thing. People in same gender relationships learn early on that sex involves much more than just those body parts.

Let’s do a basic review of what we don’t want in our body from someone else’s body so we can reduce the chances of pregnancy or STIs. A male’s seminal fluid contains millions of sperm who have one objective: find the egg. They are mobile and motivated! As soon as a male becomes aroused, the Cowper’s gland at the base of the penis releases a drop of fluid commonly known as pre-cum, pre-nut or pre-ejaculatory fluid. This tiny drop may contain sperm, depending on when the male last ejaculated, but it will definitely contain any STI he happens to have. So the thing to remember is that while you can’t become pregnant unless this fluid gets into or near the vagina (remember they can SWIM, so fooling around just a little is no guarantee a pregnancy can’t happen) this fluid can spread a STI through oral or anal sex.

On the female side of things, for her to become pregnant she must have released an egg. Although this generally happens once a month around the mid-point between periods, females have gotten pregnant anytime during the month that an egg has been released. Most females don’t know when this is about to happen and the sperm can live in her body for about 5 days just waiting for an egg to be released. STIs live in and near her vagina, so oral sex on a female won’t cause a pregnancy, but it may pass a STI to the mouth.

For most people, a major component of sex is orgasm. While some people may be satisfied with cuddling, kissing and all other assorted foreplay, most people want to COME! So here is where a creative mind is a wonderful thing. Slow down and enjoy some experimentation. Here are a few suggested avenues to explore.

Use Your Hands

The delightful chef Julia Childs said that when cooking, use your hands as tools. I think this is excellent advice for sexual pleasuring as well. Learn to explore your partner in ways you may never have done before. Find sensitive spots you or they may never even knew existed. Try the, “does this feel good?” technique. There is a whole body that is sensitive to touch. Mutual masturbation can also be very exciting with the same result as vaginal sex.

Use Your Mouth

While you do need to be careful about seminal and vaginal fluids of partners whose STI status is unknown or known to have a STI, if you are just trying to prevent pregnancy, oral sex can be a fulfilling alternative. Not sure what to do? Check out this fantastic book The Guide to Getting it On. Their section on oral sex is particularly helpful to beginners.

Use Alternative Body Parts

In various cultures around the world, partners would rub the penis between thighs, breasts wherever else feels good, to preserve a female’s virginity and prevent pregnancy. Similarly, for many females, rubbing whatever feels good against the clitoris can stimulate to orgasm even better than a penis.

Use a “FiFi”

Remember the movie American Pie where the teen uses a warm apple pie to imitate a vagina? I learned about “fifis” when teaching in detention centers. Teens became very creative making fake vaginas and penises out of materials available to them. Especially popular were washcloths and hand lotion!

Use a Sex Toy

There is massive variety of apparatus available that can enhance sexual pleasure (see this previous post for some suggestions). Just be careful not to share anything that can spread fluids between partners. See section one and try the, “does this feel good?” technique here too. Go online or to an adult store and pick something out together. This in itself can be very arousing.

Add Lubrication to Hands And Anywhere Else It Feels Good

Lubricants can greatly enhance sensitivity, especially when using your hands to pleasure someone (check out a previous post about lube).

I’m sure many of you have other ideas to share! Between two (or more) consenting adults, there is no limit to the variety of ways to give and receive pleasure safely. Enjoy!

Safer Sex: Yeah, There’s an App for That

Posted on January 7, 2013 by E.G. Hanna

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Having sex with a new partner always raises the risk of STI’s, and it’s not always comfortable talking about getting tested or whether you have potentially been exposed to something. However, technology is being developed to make “the talk” a lot easier.

An app called MedXCom is designed to let smart phone users check their potential hook-ups for STIs. From inquisitr, the “app encourages its users to seek regular medical check-ups in order to keep the info fresh and up-to-date. When the individual receives a clean bill of health, the doctor can then authorize a status update on MedXCom…Should you test positive for an STD, the app will only tell the other person that you’re currently carrying some sort of disease. The specifics are kept in the dark.”

Basically, if you are about to hook up with another person, you would first open the app and bump your phones together. The app will tell you if your partner is STI-free, or not. You both must have the app for this to work. You can get more details about the process from the developer here.

There are some downsides to relying on an app to certify your partner is STI-free. First, it requires a smartphone, which not everyone can afford. Second, I’m not computer savvy enough to know how easily something like this could be hacked and made to give false information, but I’m gonna assume it’s a possibility. Third, some STIs like herpes and HPV are not directly tested for unless symptoms are present, so these infections could still be passed from a person with a “clean” reading from the app. Fourth, because there is often a gap in time between infection with an STI and a positive test result, there is a chance the app could classify someone as STI-free when in fact they were just tested too soon. Finally, this app could lead to people having a false sense of security about the safety of their sexual activity, leading to decreased condom use and a subsequent rise in unwanted pregnancies.

Not that I think this app is a bad idea by any means. I believe that if this becomes widely used, it could potentially keep STI rates down. If using this app or one like it becomes standard, and people start asking their partners to use it, downloads of the app will increase which will lead to an increase in STI testing. This would undoubtedly lead to a decrease in preventable and treatable infections that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Would you use an app like this? Would your partner having this app make you feel safer having sex with them?

HIV-Positive? Tips to Help You Talk to Your Partner About Your Status

Posted on December 6, 2012 by E.G. Hanna

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A study has found that a “significant number” of teens who were born with HIV are not disclosing their status to their partners. For some, it was because they did not know their status, but others knew and did not tell their partners. This study focused only on teens who were infected before birth, so it does not contain information on teens who became infected through sexual activity. Thankfully, many of the teens who did know their status practiced safer sex by using a condom, but not all of them did.

Not telling your partner not only puts them at risk, but you as well; most states have criminal statutes making it a criminal offense to not disclose HIV status to partners. In Florida, “It is unlawful for any person, knowing him/herself to be HIV positive and knowing the risk of transmission through sexual intercourse, to have intercourse without informing his/her partner of his/her HIV status and receiving consent.”(You can find the full list of state laws here.) This makes it even more important to have the HIV talk with your partner.

If you have HIV and your partner does not, you should know that while there is always a risk of passing on the infection but you can take action to reduce the risk. Aids.gov nails it:

“If you are the HIV-positive partner in a mixed-status relationship, you can lower the risk of transmitting HIV to your partner if you are on anti-retroviral therapy. Taking all your medications, on time, will help to lower the viral load in your body fluids and decrease the chance that you will transmit HIV to your partner. But remember, even if you have a low viral load, you can still transmit HIV to your sex partner. So it is important to always use a condom and practice safer sex. And, if you inject drugs, never share syringes, water, or drug preparation equipment with others since HIV-infected blood can be transmitted through them.
If you are the HIV-negative partner in a mixed-status relationship, talk with your partner about condoms and safer sex practices. If you are in an ongoing relationship with your partner, support him/her in taking all of his/her HIV medications at the right times. This “medication adherence” will lower his/her viral load and reduce the risk that HIV can be transmitted. You may also want to stay up-to-date on developments about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP). Though researchers are not recommending PrEP be immediately used to prevent HIV infection, recent research findings suggest this may someday be another prevention method to be used with – not instead of – condoms, safer sex practices and other HIV prevention methods.”

The article I linked to above notes that most HIV-related sex education focuses on avoiding infection rather than living with the infection, which is an excellent point. Luckily there are organizations out there with good advice on how to talk to partners and family. When you’re ready to have the talk, try HIV.va.gov’s tips for telling your partners and Womenshealth.gov’s advice on telling people you are HIV positive. Make sure you talk to a case manager or counselor first if you are telling a partner and there is a history of violence or abuse in your relationship.

If you’ve contracted HIV, it’s important to talk to your sexual partner(s) about it. It’s not an easy conversation to have but it’s one that will help keep your partner(s) safe and alert to their status.

Considering the Female Condom

Posted on December 5, 2012 by Guest Post

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We’re happy to welcome in Dave from theohface.com, a blog that discusses sex, gender and sexuality issues from a sex positive perspective. His mission is to help create safe spaces for dialogue about these issues and to diminish the stigma surrounding them. Look out for more posts from him in 2013; he’ll be guest posting monthly about sexual health from a male perspective.

Today, he’s asking why people don’t use the female condom:

The female condom (FC) is a strange and altogether unsexy looking thing. It’s big and shapeless and even a bit intimidating. But to be fair, the male condom isn’t particularly sexy looking either. So why is it that so few people use the female condom?

There are some really great reasons for women to consider using the female condom. They are the only HIV/STI prevention device that puts the power of protection squarely in the hands of women. The traditional condom is often the male partner’s responsibility to supply and apply before sex. Not all men have adequate condom education and this can lead to improper application and higher risk of STI transmission and pregnancy.

One of the most common complaints about the FC is the unsightly ring that hangs out around the vulva. This ring, however, is an effective form of HPV and Herpes prevention. HPV and Herpes are both spread through skin-skin contact and traditional condoms do nothing to prevent this. It has also been reported that, during intercourse, this ring can be a source of pleasure as it creates friction against the clitoris.

The other main barrier keeping people from using the female condom is that they just don’t know how to use it. Women who are considering using the FC are encouraged to go to their local clinic or drug store and pick up a few to take home and become familiar with. Learning how to insert it and remove it from one’s own body and becoming comfortable with the female condom can be a big step for women wanting to take control of their sexual health.

Female condoms empower women to be in complete control of their own STI prevention. Like all new things, it may take some time to get used to. Women wanting to use the FC may have to educate their partners and perhaps even face some resistance about using them, but few things are quite as sexy as an STI test that comes back negative. Educate yourself about the Female Condom, go out and grab a couple, talk to your friends or partners about them. Fear of the unknown shouldn’t prevent you from being as safe as possible while enjoying your sex life.

Controversial Ballot Measure Passed Requiring Condoms in Porn

Posted on November 14, 2012 by E.G. Hanna

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People in Los Angeles voted last week to pass a ballot measure mandating that condoms are used in adult films. Measure B, titled the Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act, requires condoms to be used during all vaginal and anal intercourse in order to protect adult actors from the spread of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

The adult film industry is unhappy with the outcome of the election, arguing that the measure is unnecessary. Performers are required to have frequent STI testing and can be entered in a database accessible by the entire industry to ensure they are banned from performing.

The attitude taken by many in the industry is that condom use makes the films less appealing, saying that past company-internal condom mandates have resulted in decreased sales. If porn is a fantasy, then condom use is an unwanted dose of reality.

Personally, I wonder if part of the reason why condoms are unappealing in porn is because so many people are unaccustomed to them? If porn is the ultimate sexual fantasy (to many, at least), and condoms aren’t a part of that fantasy, perhaps that helps to make them less attractive. If condoms were to become a routine part of porn, I believe they will become normalized and therefore less unattractive. That’s my theory, anyway. Regardless, I believe if people are given the choice between porn with condoms or no porn, people will choose porn–and so if a mandate is enacted throughout the industry then sales will not be impacted to a severe degree. Overall I’m in favor of the ban, because testing rules in the industry only detect sexually transmitted infections after they already occur. Why put actor’s lives and careers at risk when we could prevent infections in the first place?

The new law won’t be enforced immediately, in part because the adult film industry plans to fight the measure, threatening to potentially move their work to another city. A move would cost Los Angeles a tremendous amount of money in tax revenues. It remains to be seen whether the condom mandate will last (or even begin), but it will be interesting to see the long-term effects.

What do you think, porn-watching Feronians? Does condom use in a porn movie decrease your enjoyment? Tell me what you think of the ban in the comments.

What to Expect at Your STI Exam

Posted on November 8, 2012 by E.G. Hanna

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So you’ve made your appointment to get tested for STI’s, and you’re nervous. No worries! It’s actually very easy to get tested. The most common things to get screened for are HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and if you have no symptoms you may not even need an exam. If you have symptoms like genital bumps or sores, you may get a physical examination by the practitioner for diagnosis.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea are often tested for together. They can now be tested for with a simple urine test, no exam needed. It’s important to not urinate for at least an hour before your appointment and follow the instructions for the urine sample precisely, because an incorrect sample can make the test inaccurate. If you have a vagina, you can also do a self-obtained vaginal swab or have the practitioner swab your cervix during a pelvic exam, but the urine test is the least invasive way. It is no longer common for a swab of the penile urethra to be performed (whew!).

For HIV testing, you have some options. Depending on which test you and your provider discuss, you may have your mouth swabbed, your finger stuck, or your blood drawn from your arm. Many places require you to return to the clinic for the results, so if you have the option of doing the 20 minute rapid test, go for it. You get your results the same day. Don’t forget it can take up to 3 months, and rarely, 6 months, for HIV to show up on a test, so take that into account and plan to retest if you’ve been potentially exposed recently.

Syphilis is a blood test, no way around that one unfortunately. To prepare for your blood test, eat and drink something before your exam and tell your provider if you have a history of fainting or getting sick with needle sticks.

Other infections people frequently request screening for are genital warts and Herpes. These tests are ideally performed when physically symptoms are present. It is important to get into your health center as soon as possible if any new bumps or lesions are noticed, because if they begin to heal or go away by your visit time it can make diagnosis more difficult. A blood test for the Herpes Simplex Virus does exist, but it is usually extremely expensive and will only tell you if you have anti-bodies to the virus (meaning you’ve been exposed), which many of us have. It can’t tell you if you will have an outbreak or if you are capable of passing it to a partner. The best test for genital Herpes is a culture of an open sore or lesion.

Important tips for your visit:

Ask every question you think of! There are no stupid questions, and we clinic workers like to educate our patients so we’re happy to talk about whatever your concerns are.
Tell your provider what’s going on. If you have symptoms or discomfort, let them know. You may need another test, an exam, or some medication. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about possible exposure, symptoms or anything else.
Make sure you call or return to the clinic for your results. Your provider should contact you with any positive results, but it’s always best if you check on the results yourself.

STIs: The Facts About Trichomoniasis

Posted on October 30, 2012 by E.G. Hanna

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If you are having genital discharge that is uncomfortable, itchy, or odorous, or if you are just getting tested for STIs, you probably are already thinking about the possibility of chlamydia and gonorrhea. But there is another infection called trichomoniasis that is lesser known and can also cause discomfort and other problems.

What is trichomoniasis? Trichomoniasis is the term for infection, usually vaginal or urethral, with the protozoa Trichomonas vaginalis. According to the CDC, “In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection, but only about 30% develop any symptoms of trichomoniasis. Infection is more common in women than in men, and older women are more likely than younger women to have been infected.”

Where did I get it? It’s a type of sexually transmitted infection, although very rarely it’s been reported to be caused by swimming in a lake, jacuzzi, or sharing wet towels. It is most often spread by genital sexual contact.

What symptoms might I have?

It is possible to have no symptoms, especially if it is in the urethra. A vaginal infection is more likely to produce symptoms. If you do have symptoms, you may experience copious green or yellow frothy vaginal discharge, vaginal odor or irritation, and severe itching, burning after urination or ejaculation, itching of the urethra, urethral discharge. It is possible to transmit the infection to a partner even if you do not have symptoms.

Why should I be concerned?

Aside from it potentially being massively uncomfortable, trichomoniasis can increase a person’s risk of acquiring HIV and delivering premature or low birth weight babies.

How do I find out if I have it?

The best way is an exam by a practitioner. A sample of vaginal discharge is taken and put under a microscope so the provider can visualize the organism. Testing for urethral infection is a little bit more difficult; if there is penile discharge the provider can sample that under a microscope. Trichomonas is not routinely screened for in STI screening panels, so if you are concerned you may have it be sure to ask your provider for an examination.

How do I treat it?

Treatment is simple, with either the antibiotic Metronidazole or a newer drug, Tinidazole. You may take the medication only one day, or for 3-5 days depending on the medication and your providers orders. It is important to avoid alcohol while on this medication and finish the full course.

Trichomoniasis is curable and can be prevented by using condoms.

How to Shop for Condoms

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Mary

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When you’re standing in the condom aisle, seconds seem like hours. Your eyes dart nervously across the colorful packaging, waiting for some clear sign that you should grab one particular box and make a mad dash for the checkout line. Oh yeah, then there’s that pack of gum to grab.

Condom shopping doesn’t have to be difficult or awkward. If you use my three-point condom shopping system, you’ll be outta’ there and gettin’ busy before you know it.

Step #1 – Material

Condoms are made from three different materials – latex, polyurethane and lambskin.

Latex: helps prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections; stretchy, yet durable; ring at base; reservoir tip for ejaculate; inexpensive (or free if you get them at the health department or Planned Parenthood)
Polyurethane (fancy word for plastic): helps prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, safe for those with a latex allergy; less stretchy than latex, but still durable, ring at base; reservoir tip for ejaculate; transfers heat better than latex; female condoms come in this material
Lambskin: helps prevent pregnancy ONLY (because it is made from animal intestinal lining, it has small pores that bacteria and viruses can fit through, but sperm are bigger, therefore contained by the condom); a bit more eco-friendly than latex or polyurethane; safe for those whose culture or religion dictates the use of a “natural” method of birth control or for those not worried about sexually transmitted infections; no ring at base (more like a drawstring); no reservoir tip for ejaculate; distinct odor; fairly expensive

So, decide which material is right for you and, when you’re shopping, let your eyes wander to the bottom right side of the boxes – that’s where the material type is usually printed. I recommend latex or polyurethane.

Step #2 – Expiration Date

Condoms are manufactured about 5 years before they expire so if your condoms expire next month, they’re already 5 years old. Age degrades the material, making condoms more likely to break. The expiration date is usually printed on the back or side flap of the box and on each individual condom, as seen below:

Step #3 – “The Extras”

By “extras” I mean lubricant, spermicide, size, texture, flavoring, etc. Here’s the skinny on the “extras”:

Lubricant: unless you have a bottle of safe lubricant (water-based, because oil-based breaks condoms) handy, opt for lubricated condoms for vaginal and/or anal sex. For oral sex, either get a dental dam or cut an unlubricated condom up the side.
Spermicide: this is often called nonoxynol-9 and is a chemical that helps to kill sperm. The use of spermicides is debatable on several fronts. Do your research before you decide on this one.
Size: condoms are basically one-size-fits-all. There are, however, “slim fit” and “extra large” versions. Just remember, condoms are SUPPOSED TO BE SNUG.
Texture: ribbed or studded – truth is, it doesn’t matter much, particulary for penis-in-vagina sex. Why? Because the vaginal walls have very few nerve endings, making it hard to feel tiny ribs or studs. Think about it – women can wear tampons for hours and not feel a thing! Really, ribs and studs and such are just marketing tools.
Flavoring: If it tastes like strawberries, that means it has some sugar and flavoring to make it taste like strawberries. These condoms are meant for oral sex only. Sugar can cause a yeast infection because it throws off the pH balance in the vagina.

But what about the brand name!!!??? I get this question a lot. Just pick a trusted brand. You might need to try various types of condoms before you find one that you really like.

If going to the store to purchase condoms or going to the health department or Planned Parenthood to get free ones is just too intimidating for you, do your shopping online.

What Would Cupid Think?

Posted on October 9, 2012 by Fosgood

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Love in the era of HIV. Cupid would be appalled. It’s not just a matter of aim and shoot … and more.

Some of us remember the good old days when all you had to worry about was gonorrhea or syphilis, both easily cured with a quick shot of penicillin. Now things are so much more complicated. I’ve had conversations with many people trying to explain the intricacies of HPV, and herpes detection and prevention. Many people don’t even know they are infected with these and the potential to pass them on is so murky. These two are not reportable or even frequently tested for unless there are visible symptoms.

On a more positive note, there is a website I just discovered called Qpid.me. According to its website, it is “a free, patient-authorized service that independently verifies our users’ HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and Chlamydia results. We do this so our users can share their results with their partner or on a dating site.”

To find more out about this creative way to notify someone of your test results or to advertise your status, check it out!

This Week In: Sexual Health

Posted on September 20, 2012 by E.G. Hanna

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Vitamin D could be more important to fetal development than previously thought

A recent study has implicated Vitamin D deficiency in mental and motor skill impairment in infants. Vitamin D deficiency in pregnancy has previously also been linked to language impairment at later ages. The amount of vitamin D currently recommended during pregnancy varies from 600 to 2000 units per day.

A new vaginal ring being tested for use in HIV prevention

Animal testing showed promising results for a new vaginal ring, similar in form to the NuvaRing, that releases medication designed to prevent HIV infection. The ring could stay in place for months, as opposed to a gel or pill that must be used daily. If shown to work in human studies, this could allow women more control over their sexual health, especially those in situations where they may not have the power to request a condom.

In light of anti-biotic resistance, the CDC changes mind about gonorrhea treatment

The two current drug options for treating gonorrhea are cefixime and ceftriaxone. The CDC has found that cefixime has proven less effective than it used to be, due to growing antibacterial resistance of the gonorrhea organism. Gonorrhea has grown fully resistant to other classes of drugs in the past, causing worry among CDC researchers that it may become resistant to ceftriaxone as well, leaving it untreatable. Gonorrhea is preventable by using condoms.