Since I’m a sexpert and this was my first partner after a lengthy marriage and recent divorce for us both, condoms were definitely part of the picture. We’d both been in long, monogamous marriages and were sure of our STI status, but I wasn’t on birth control and was premenopausal. My first husband had been born when his father was retired and mom was 48. No chances of that happening for me!
I’d given birth to 2 daughters and was fed up with hormonal methods and the diaphragm. I’d wanted my husband to get a vasectomy. But despite my best efforts, he was staunchly against it. He couldn’t adequately verbalize his reasons as far as I was concerned. After all I’d gone through, I’d had enough of taking all the responsibility. What I saw as his selfish, unfounded fears, was one of the many obstacles in our marriage remaining happy and healthy.
But, back to my love story! As we chatted over dinner, he suddenly said, “So I know your concerns about the safer sex stuff and all that, but is there a reason we still are using condoms?”
Startled, to say the least, I responded, “Well, I can still get pregnant.”
“Not with me you can’t,” he quipped. I found out that he had already had a vasectomy and needless to say, I was thrilled!
I’d know from the start that this man was more concerned with others than he was with himself. Always gentle, asking how I’d slept the night before, how my day was, what he could do to help in the kitchen. This act of sharing responsibility for birth control was right in character. If I hadn’t already fallen madly and passionately in love with him, I would have at that moment.
“Waiter! Check, please!”
Nearly 13 years later, I’m delighted to report that our love and passion is as strong as ever. I’m a very lucky woman.